Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm), correct verb forms and prepositions, and give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I use headphones regularly, especially when I travel on the subway. They help block out background noise and let me listen to music or podcasts comfortably, which makes my commute more relaxing.

提案: Provide a concise topic sentence naming the type, then give two specific benefits using linking words. Remove hesitations and repetition, and correct word choice (lightweight, control, store).

例: I usually use lightweight wireless headphones because they are easy to carry and connect to my phone quickly. Moreover, I can control playback from my pocket, which makes them very convenient for commuting.

提案: Answer directly and coherently: state situations you use them and explain reasons with specific details. Avoid unclear phrases and correct vocabulary (block out noise, listen to music, make calls). Use linking words like 'for example' or 'also'.

例: I usually wear headphones when commuting on the subway to block out background noise and relax. For example, I listen to music or podcasts, and sometimes I use them to make phone calls with friends.

提案: This answer is close to adequate but needs clearer, grammatically correct sentences and linking words. Start with a topic sentence then give specific examples and reasons. Remove repetition and incorrect tense usage.

例: I wouldn't wear headphones for important events like job interviews or formal presentations because I need to be fully attentive and show respect to others. In those situations, it's important to hear and respond directly.

提案: Give a clear comparative statement and two specific supporting reasons. Fix grammar (more comfortable than), remove fillers, and use precise vocabulary (portable speakers, disturb others).

例: Yes, I find wireless headphones more comfortable than portable speakers because they fit well and don't bother other people. Also, they are convenient for traveling and let me listen to music privately.

× Yes, I all very well headphones, especially umm when I communicate on the subway, I they help me put up the noise and I can listening to some music, mass media, Jonah Morrissey, that's all.

✓ Yes, I use headphones very often, especially when I commute on the subway. They help me block out noise and I can listen to music or other media, like Johan Morrissey.

The original sentence misused pronouns and had incorrect word order and verb forms. 'I all very well headphones' is incorrect — the subject should perform the verb 'use' with frequency adverb ('very often'). 'I they help me' mixes subjects; replace with 'They help me'. 'put up the noise' is wrong collocation; use 'block out noise'. 'I can listening' uses incorrect verb form after modal; use base form 'listen'. Also simplify list of media and correct name spelling. Suggestion: state subject + verb + frequency, keep pronouns consistent, use correct verb forms after modals and phrasal verbs like 'block out'.

× I often use the wireless headphones because they are, uh, weightless wireless, so I can easily check them when I need it.

✓ I often use wireless headphones because they are lightweight and wireless, so I can easily carry them when I need to.

The sentence used incorrect adjective 'weightless' and verb 'check' instead of 'carry'. 'Lightweight' describes headphones; 'carry' fits context. Also removed unnecessary article 'the' before 'wireless headphones' for general reference. Suggestion: choose correct adjective forms and verbs that match the intended action (carry instead of check).

× I'm just, uh, uh, control, just, uh, control my headphone in my pocket so I can use it at any time.

✓ I can control my headphones from my pocket, so I can use them at any time.

Original repeats filler words and uses singular 'headphone' and 'it' while referring to a pair; use plural 'headphones' and pronoun 'them'. 'Control from my pocket' is clearer and more natural. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary fillers, ensure pronouns agree in number with their referents, and use concise phrasing.

× I often use headphones when I'm commuting on the subway because it can help me.

✓ I often use headphones when I'm commuting on the subway because they can help me.

The subject 'headphones' is plural, so the pronoun referring to them should be 'they', not 'it'. Also maintain present continuous 'I'm commuting' with plural pronoun 'they'. Suggestion: match pronoun number to its noun.

× Helps me broke up journalists and sometimes I will use them to talk with my friend.

✓ They help me block out noise from other passengers, and sometimes I use them to talk with my friends.

Original fragmented sentence 'Helps me broke up journalists' is ungrammatical and likely a mistranscription. 'Broke up' is wrong verb form; use 'block out'. 'Journalists' is incorrect noun; likely 'other passengers' or 'people'. Also match plural 'friends' if general. 'I will use' is okay but 'I use' fits habitual context. Suggestion: reconstruct sentence logically, use correct verb forms, and choose appropriate nouns.

× Just a major journal more enjoyable.

✓ They just make my commute more enjoyable.

This fragment lacks clear subject and verb. 'Major journal' is meaningless here; likely meant 'my commute'. Use full sentence with subject 'They' (headphones) and verb 'make'. Suggestion: express complete thought with subject + verb + object.

× I wouldn't use a headphones when I have important events such as job interviews and a formal presentation.

✓ I wouldn't use headphones when I have important events such as job interviews or formal presentations.

Using 'a' before plural 'headphones' is incorrect; use no article for general plural 'headphones'. Also use plural 'presentations' or keep singular but be consistent; use 'or' for alternatives. Suggestion: for general statements about plural countable items, omit the article.

× Is plan to be fully is is plan to be fully attentive and show our respect respect for others in those situations.

✓ I plan to be fully attentive and to show my respect for others in those situations.

Original contains repetitions and wrong subjects/pronouns. Use 'I plan' as subject, include infinitive 'to be', and 'my respect' to match 'I'. Remove duplicate words. Suggestion: avoid repetition and ensure pronouns match the speaker.

× Yes, I further used the wireless headphone is comfortable then, then portable speakers because they feel well and I can, uh, when I'm they are convenient for traveling so I can listen to musically, uh, and without disturbing others.

✓ Yes, I find wireless headphones more comfortable than portable speakers because they feel better and are convenient for traveling, so I can listen to music without disturbing others.

Multiple errors: 'further used' incorrect tense/word; use 'find'. 'Headphone' singular should be plural 'headphones'. 'Then' should be 'than' for comparison. 'Feel well' should be 'feel better' or 'are comfortable'. Remove filler words and fix 'listen to music' (not 'musically'). Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'they are convenient'. Suggestion: use 'more/than' for comparisons, correct noun number, and use appropriate adjectives/adverbs.