Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., 'when I'm in public' not 'when I undergo'), avoid repetition, and add one specific reason or example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I often wear headphones when I'm in public because they let me listen to music or podcasts without disturbing others, for example on the bus or in a café.

提案: Be specific and correct grammar. Use a clear topic sentence naming the type (e.g., 'Bluetooth wireless earphones'), then give 1–2 concise reasons using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid filler phrases ('you know').

例: I use Bluetooth wireless earphones because they are compact and easy to carry in my pocket. They’re also lighter than bulky over-ear headphones, which I find uncomfortable.

提案: Open with a direct statement about typical situations, then give specific examples and a brief reason. Reduce hesitation and filler words, and use linking words (e.g., 'for instance', 'especially').

例: I usually wear headphones in public, for instance when commuting on the subway or sitting in a café, because they help me focus and avoid interrupting other people.

提案: This answer is clear but can be tightened. Start with a topic sentence (e.g., 'I avoid headphones when talking to people'), then give a specific example and reason. Use correct forms (e.g., 'headphones are') and one linking word.

例: I avoid wearing headphones when I'm talking to others, especially my parents, because it seems rude and I want to give them my full attention.

提案: Give a clear, grammatical topic sentence about comfort, then support with one or two specific reasons or examples. Remove repeated fillers and fix grammar (e.g., 'design' -> 'designs', 'I've bought' is fine). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Generally I find many headphones uncomfortable. For example, over-ear and in-ear models can feel tight and make my ears sweaty in summer, so I often stop using them after short periods.

× I really like using headphones, especially when I undergo or in some public occasions.

✓ I really like using headphones, especially when I am in public or in certain public situations.

The original sentence misuses 'undergo' and 'in some public occasions'. 'Undergo' is incorrect here; use 'be in' for location. Also 'in some public occasions' is unnatural; 'in public' or 'in certain public situations' is correct. Use continuous present 'am in' for current state.

× I think that's a good way for me to listen some music or podcasts without disturbing anyone around me, and I really enjoy listening music with headphones.

✓ I think that's a good way for me to listen to music or podcasts without disturbing anyone around me, and I really enjoy listening to music with headphones.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' when followed by an object (listen to music). Also repeat 'to' before 'music' in the second clause for parallelism. This fixes a preposition requirement and improves fluency.

× Well, I think the wireless one like some Bluetooth earphone because I think they are pretty convenient for me to carry out and the design is pretty small which means I could bring them on my back even on my pockets of my pants.

✓ Well, I think wireless ones like Bluetooth earphones are pretty convenient for me to carry, and the design is quite small, so I can put them in my backpack or even in my pants pockets.

Mismatch between singular and plural: 'the wireless one' vs 'they' and 'earphone' should be plural 'earphones' when referring generally. Use plural consistently. 'Carry out' is incorrect; use 'carry' or 'put in'. 'On my back' should be 'in my backpack' and 'on my pockets' should be 'in my pockets'.

× Besides, you know some wear headphone is too massive for me.

✓ Besides, you know some over-ear headphones are too bulky for me.

Original has incorrect pronoun/structure 'some wear headphone'. Use 'over-ear headphones' to describe a type and 'too bulky' or 'too massive' is better expressed as 'too bulky'. This fixes noun phrase formation.

× Like I said before, I prefer to use headphones when I'm in a public place because I think that's the best way to tell others around you.

✓ Like I said before, I prefer to use headphones when I'm in a public place because I think that's the best way to tell the people around you that you don't want to be disturbed.

The phrase 'tell others around you' is incomplete and unclear. Add clarification 'that you don't want to be disturbed' to convey meaning. Also change 'the best way to tell others around you' to 'the best way to tell the people around you' for naturalness.

× You don't communicate with them and you want, you know, be in your own world.

✓ You don't want to communicate with them and you want, you know, to be in your own world.

After 'want' the verb should be in infinitive form 'to be'. The original omitted 'to' making the clause ungrammatical. Also reorder to 'You don't want to communicate' for clarity.

× And especially on the commuting in the subway, I'd like to use my headphones.

✓ And especially when commuting on the subway, I'd like to use my headphones.

Use 'when commuting' instead of 'on the commuting', and preposition order is 'commuting on the subway' or 'on the subway' after commuting. Remove unnecessary article 'the'.

× Like when I communicate or chat with others, especially my parents, I think using headphone is pretty rude while you are speaking with them.

✓ Like when I communicate or chat with others, especially my parents, I think using headphones is pretty rude while you are speaking with them.

'Headphone' should be plural 'headphones' when referring to the device in general. This is a singular/plural agreement issue.

× Besides, I want to show my respect and give them my full attention.

✓ Besides, I want to show respect and give them my full attention.

'Show my respect' is acceptable but 'show respect' is more natural here; this is minor pronoun/article usage. Removing 'my' makes the phrase more idiomatic.

× I don't think so. Actually. I find a lot of headphones designer is pretty uncomfortable for me.

✓ I don't think so. Actually, I find many headphones uncomfortable for me.

The original has sentence fragments ('Actually.') and a noun phrase error 'headphones designer' which is incorrect. Likely intended 'many headphones are uncomfortable'. Combine and use 'many headphones' and the adjective 'uncomfortable'.

× Actually. I've bought more than four or five headphones, you know, in two years, especially in the summer, you know, the weather is scorching, which means I was always sweaty and the earphone is just too tight for me.

✓ Actually, I've bought four or five pairs of headphones in the last two years. Especially in summer when the weather is scorching, I often get sweaty and the earphones are just too tight for me.

Use 'pairs of headphones' when counting, not just 'headphones'. Remove redundant 'you know' and fix tense and articles: 'in the last two years' is clearer. 'Earphone' should be plural 'earphones'. Use present habit 'I often get sweaty' rather than past 'I was always sweaty' for general conditions.