Headphones— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word. Avoid filler words like “uh” and awkward phrasing. Also correct collocations (e.g., “listening to music,” “studying lessons,” “prefer them because”).

例: Yes, I often use headphones, especially when I listen to music or study. For example, they help me concentrate by blocking out background noise, so I can understand audio more clearly than playing it through my laptop or phone.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence naming the type, then explain briefly and accurately. Avoid vague references (e.g., “a study that bloated”) and repetition. Use correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., “wired headphones,” “emit radiation,” “compared to wireless ones”).

例: I usually use wired headphones rather than Bluetooth ones. I prefer them because some studies suggest wireless devices can emit more electromagnetic radiation, and wired models also tend to have more reliable sound and longer battery life.

提案: Start with a concise topic sentence, then list two specific situations using linking words (e.g., “for example,” “also”) and a clear reason. Improve grammar (e.g., “when listening to music,” “when I’m meeting with clients”) and avoid awkward phrases like “This gives me easy to understand.”

例: I usually wear headphones when I listen to music, study online, or join client meetings. For example, they help me focus on the audio and reduce background noise, so I can understand conversations and lectures more easily.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: give a topic sentence explaining the condition, then a brief reason using a linking word. Fix tense and clarity (e.g., “my room is soundproof, so I don’t need them”). Avoid redundant phrases.

例: I don’t usually wear headphones in my room because it’s soundproof. Therefore, I can hear audio clearly without them and I prefer not to use headphones there.

× Yes, I do use headphones, specially when listening music or even studying lessons.

✓ Yes, I do use headphones, especially when listening to music or studying lessons.

The student used 'specially' incorrectly; 'especially' is the correct adverb to indicate particular emphasis. Also the verb 'listening' requires the preposition 'to' before 'music'. Suggestion: use 'especially' and include necessary prepositions (listening to music).

× I do much prefer to use this because uh, it's for me.

✓ I much prefer to use them because they work better for me.

Pronoun reference and number are incorrect: 'this' refers to a singular item but 'headphones' is plural. Also 'do' is unnecessary for emphasis; 'much prefer' is sufficient. Suggestion: match pronouns to nouns (them for headphones) and avoid unnecessary auxiliary 'do' unless for emphasis.

× It's easy for me to understand then listening directly to laptop or to my cell phone.

✓ It's easier for me to understand than listening directly to the laptop or my cell phone.

Comparative structure requires 'easier' and 'than' (not 'then'). Also 'listening to' needs the definite article 'the' before 'laptop' and 'to' is not needed before 'my cell phone' when paired. Suggestion: use 'easier... than' and include articles appropriately.

× I prefer to use a wired headphones instead of using a Bluetooth because there was a study that bloated headphones emit radiation unlike of using wire wire headphones.

✓ I prefer to use wired headphones instead of Bluetooth ones because there was a study that claimed wireless headphones emit radiation, unlike wired headphones.

Multiple article and word choice errors: 'a wired headphones' mixes singular article with plural noun; remove 'a' and use plural or 'a wired headset'. 'Bluetooth' should be 'Bluetooth ones' or 'wireless ones'. 'Bloated' is incorrect; likely 'claimed' or 'reported'. 'Wire wire' is redundant; use 'wired'. Also 'unlike of using' is incorrect; use 'unlike wired headphones' or 'compared with wired headphones'. Suggestion: match articles to countable nouns, avoid redundancy, and choose correct verbs like 'claimed'.

× I prefer to use a wired headphones instead of using a Bluetooth because there was a study that bloated headphones emit radiation unlike of using wire wire headphones.

✓ I prefer to use wired headphones instead of Bluetooth ones because a study suggested wireless headphones emit radiation, unlike wired headphones.

The clause 'there was a study that bloated headphones emit radiation' mixes past tense 'there was a study' with present tense 'emit' and uses wrong verb 'bloated'. Use 'a study suggested' to report the past finding and 'wireless headphones emit' or 'would emit' consistently. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when reporting studies and use correct reporting verbs like 'suggested' or 'reported'.

× I typically use headphones during listening to music, learning new lessons or even I can be meeting with clients.

✓ I typically use headphones while listening to music, learning new lessons, or meeting with clients.

After 'use headphones' the gerund phrases should follow with correct connectors: 'during listening to' is awkward; 'while listening to' is natural. 'Even I can be meeting with clients' is ungrammatical — use parallel gerunds 'or meeting with clients'. Suggestion: use 'while' and keep parallel gerund forms.

× This gives me easy to understand the discussions and to avoid or lessen the background noise in the surroundings.

✓ This makes it easier for me to understand the discussions and to avoid or reduce background noise in the surroundings.

'Gives me easy to understand' is ungrammatical; use 'makes it easier for me to understand'. 'Lessen' is acceptable but 'reduce' is more natural here. The definite article 'the' before 'discussions' may be okay if referring to specific discussions; kept as 'the discussions'. Suggestion: use 'makes it easier for me to...' and 'reduce' for clarity.

× I would not use my headphones inside my room because my room is a soundproof room, which I did.

✓ I would not use my headphones inside my room because my room is soundproof, so I don't need to.

'Which I did' is unclear and ungrammatical. The repetition 'soundproof room' is redundant. Use 'is soundproof' and clarify consequence: 'so I don't need to'. Suggestion: avoid redundant nouns and use clear consequence clauses.

× I don't want to use my headphones.

✓ I don't want to use them.

While 'I don't want to use my headphones' is grammatically acceptable, in context a pronoun 'them' is more concise and avoids repetition. Suggestion: use pronouns appropriately to avoid repetition.