Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 注意语法和词汇搭配，避免冗长与重复。开头直接回答问题，用一句话表明偏好，然后用一到两句具体理由支持。改正比较级和固定搭配（例如“more happier”应为“happier”，“immerse in”而非“immense in”）。

例: I prefer happy music. It lifts my mood and gives me energy, while sad songs tend to make me feel low and dwell on negative emotions.

提案: 回答要更连贯并注意词汇准确性与句子结构。先用主题句肯定或否定，然后用具体细节解释为什么会兴奋。避免词汇错误（如“first race”不明确）和重复（如两次提到‘music’）。

例: Yes, happy music definitely excites me. Upbeat rhythms, lively melodies and strong bass make me want to move and boost my energy quickly.

提案: 回答要直接且语法正确。先给出简单明确的回答，然后解释原因时使用正确的句型和词汇（如“need to be learned”或“I think music is more about feeling”）。避免模糊表述如“in to my presence”。

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes. I feel that music is mostly about personal expression and feeling, so I preferred learning informally by listening and practicing on my own.

提案: 回答要自然并避免重复与语法错误。先肯定或否定，再具体说明情境和原因。修正重复词（删除多余的“affect”）并用更自然表达（例如“it's not a good habit because it can reduce my concentration”）。

例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying or commuting. However, it can be distracting sometimes and reduce my concentration, so I try to choose calmer music when I need to focus.

× And I prefer the happy music because listening to the happy music can make me feel more happier and the sad music will let people immense in the sadness atmosphere.

✓ I prefer happy music because listening to happy music can make me feel happier, and sad music can immerse people in a sad atmosphere.

句中出现了“more happier”的重复比较错误，应使用单一比较级“happier”。此外不需要在可数名词前加定冠词“the”（此处泛指音乐），将“immense in the sadness atmosphere”改为正确动词短语“immerse people in a sad atmosphere”。建议：在使用比较级时只用一词（happier），泛指事物时可省略或用不定式/无冠词；固定搭配为“immerse someone in something”。

× Of course, music can affect people's emotion. When I listen to the happy music, the fast bass, the first race that will let me feel more excited.

✓ Of course, music can affect people's emotions. When I listen to happy music, the fast bass and the rhythm make me feel more excited.

原句时态和词形不当：emotion应为复数“emotions”以指一般情绪；“the happy music”改为泛指“happy music”；“the fast bass, the first race”词不当，推测为“fast bass and rhythm（节奏）”；使用现在时表一般事实，主谓保持一致，去掉不必要的将来式“will”。建议：注意名词单复数和固定搭配，使用现在时描述习惯性或普遍事实。

× No, I don't think music need to, especially to learn. Music is a kind of feeling in to my presence, so I haven't taken.

✓ No, I don't think music needs to be learned in a formal way. Music is a kind of feeling to me, so I haven't taken any classes.

原句中“need to”与主语不一致且不完整，正确应为“needs to be learned”或更自然的表达“needs to be learned in a formal way”。“in to my presence”不通，应改为“to me”。最后省略了宾语，需完整表述“haven't taken any classes”。建议：注意动词形式与被动结构，以及补全句子中的必要成分（宾语）。

× Yes, I do those. It may be a not a good habit because maybe it will affect affect your attention.

✓ Yes, I do. It may not be a good habit because it can affect your attention.

原句“do those”不自然，应简单回答“Yes, I do.”；“a not a good habit”语序错误，正确为“not a good habit”；重复“affect affect”是笔误，且用“maybe”与“may”重复，改为“can”或“may”之一。建议：注意固定表达“Yes, I do.”，将否定副词放在冠词前，并避免重复词。