Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, correct grammar, and be concise. Replace awkward phrases and add a brief reason with linking words. For example, say you prefer happy music, then briefly explain why using a clear connector and correct verb forms.

例: I prefer happy music because it helps me cope with a hectic schedule. For instance, after a long day of work I listen to upbeat songs to lift my mood and feel more energetic.

提案: Start with a direct answer, use correct verb tenses and natural expressions, and avoid redundant sentences. Include a linking phrase and a specific example of how it makes you feel.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel excited. For example, when I hear upbeat rhythms I feel like I’m on cloud nine and become more motivated to exercise or work on creative projects.

提案: Provide a clear, grammatical response with a topic sentence and a brief future plan. Remove filler words and correct verb forms/plurals. Use a linking word to connect your current situation with your future intention.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes, but I definitely plan to in the future. For example, I want to learn to play the guitar and take weekly lessons to improve my technique.

提案: Answer directly, avoid awkward phrasing, and use linking words to explain reasons and give a specific example. Use natural collocations (e.g., "listen to music while") and correct article usage.

例: Not usually. I prefer not to listen to music when I study because it distracts me. For example, when I read textbooks I turn off music so I can concentrate better.

× Well I prefer happy music because all my hectic schedule I feel very sad so I like the happy music to keep my mood to fresh.

✓ Well, I prefer happy music because my hectic schedule makes me feel very sad, so I like happy music to keep my mood fresh.

This sentence has multiple structure problems: missing commas, incorrect word order, unnecessary article 'the', and incorrect use of 'to fresh'. Suggestions: add commas after introductory words, reorder clause to show cause ('my hectic schedule makes me feel'), remove 'the' before 'happy music', and use the adjective 'fresh' without 'to'. Keep clauses concise and use correct verb 'makes' for subject 'my hectic schedule' (subject-verb agreement).

× When I listen the happy music, I feel that I was on a cloud nine.

✓ When I listen to happy music, I feel that I am on cloud nine.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' (preposition error) and the phrase should use present tense 'am' to match 'When I listen' (present time). Also 'cloud nine' does not take an article. Use 'feel that I am on cloud nine' for correct tense and idiom usage.

× It was a great moment for me.

✓ It is a great moment for me.

Because the student is describing a recurring or current reaction to music, present tense 'is' fits better with surrounding present-tense statements. If referring to a single past event, keep 'was'. Ensure tense consistency with surrounding sentences.

× No, I don't have uh, taken any music classes, but uh, in future definitely I want to take a music classes to play, uh, guitar.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes, but in the future I definitely want to take music classes to learn to play the guitar.

Problems: wrong auxiliary verb and verb form ('don't have taken' should be present perfect 'haven't taken'), missing article 'the' before 'future' and unnecessary 'a' before 'music classes'. Also use 'learn to play the guitar' for natural phrasing. Remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× When I listen the happy music, I feel that I was on a cloud nine.

✓ When I listen to happy music, I feel that I am on cloud nine.

The verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to'. Also corrected tense and article usage as above. Use 'listen to music' not 'listen music'.

× No, Well, I do other things. I prefer less listen to the music because I concentrate on that thing.

✓ No. Well, when I do other things, I prefer to listen to less music because I need to concentrate on the task.

Errors: 'prefer less listen to the music' is ungrammatical. Use the construction 'prefer to listen to less music' or 'listen to less music'. Also 'that thing' is vague; use 'the task' or 'what I am doing'. Maintain present simple for habitual actions.

× For example, I read the book, I do not listen to music, I just concentrate on my study.

✓ For example, when I read a book, I do not listen to music; I just concentrate on my studies.

Article errors: use 'a book' for a general example instead of 'the book'. 'My study' is better expressed as 'my studies' for habitual academic work. Also improve sentence punctuation and conjunctions for clarity.