Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct in the topic sentence and avoid vague or repetitive phrases. State your preference clearly (e.g., ‘I prefer music that’s emotionally complex’), then give one or two specific details or examples about what you like and why. Use linking words (for example, because, so, and) to make your answer coherent. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and remove filler sounds like 'uh'.

例: I prefer music that expresses complex emotions rather than simply happy or sad, because I enjoy songs that reveal different feelings each time I listen. For example, I like psychedelic or ambient tracks that combine melancholic melodies with uplifting rhythms, as they feel more interesting and thought-provoking.

提案: Start with a clear direct answer, then give a concise reason and a specific example. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'an energized song' not 'and energized song') and avoid repeating synonyms (‘interesting and exciting’). Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and bright melodies boost my energy. For instance, when I listen to lively pop or dance tracks before going out, I immediately feel motivated to try new activities or go for a run.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence (e.g., 'Yes, I took piano lessons as a child') and then provide one specific detail about when or how long, plus a concise consequence. Fix grammatical errors (‘a piano class’ or ‘piano classes’, not both; 'a long time ago' rather than 'waited long such a long time ago'). Avoid overlong phrasing and keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I took piano lessons for about three years when I was a child, but that was a long time ago. As a result, I’ve forgotten how to read music and can only play simple tunes from memory.

提案: Answer directly (e.g., 'No, I usually don't') then explain briefly why with clearer grammar and specific details. Replace vague phrases like 'deep sense' and 'musical difficulty' with concrete reasons (e.g., 'it requires full concentration to appreciate complex textures and layers'). Remove fillers ('uh') and keep the reply to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I usually don’t listen to music while multitasking because the experimental and psychedelic music I prefer demands full concentration to appreciate its complex layers. If I’m working or studying I choose instrumental or calmer background music instead.

× It actually depends on my mood, but I mostly prefer music.

✓ It actually depends on my mood, but I generally prefer happy music.

The original sentence is grammatically acceptable, but context shows vagueness: 'prefer music' contrasts with 'sad or happy music' in the question. Change to 'generally prefer happy music' to match the question and present simple tense. Use 'generally' instead of 'mostly' for naturalness and clarity.

× Uh, the emotions are more complicated than sad or happy.

✓ The emotions are more complicated than simply 'sad' or 'happy'.

The sentence needs clearer comparison structure. Adding 'simply' and quoting the words clarifies that emotions are not limited to those two labels. Present simple tense is appropriate.

× I prefer something psychedelic where it's not clear that what emotions it expresses.

✓ I prefer something psychedelic where it is not clear which emotions it expresses.

The original contains an ungrammatical clause 'that what emotions it expresses.' Replace with 'which emotions it expresses' for correct relative clause and word order. Use 'it is' instead of contraction for clarity.

× Yes it does, because sometimes after listening and energized song I feel like more motivated for doing some interesting and exciting things.

✓ Yes, it does, because sometimes after listening to an energizing song I feel more motivated to do interesting and exciting things.

Multiple issues: missing comma after 'Yes'; 'after listening and energized song' is incorrect — use 'after listening to an energizing song'; 'feel like more motivated for doing' is nonstandard — use 'feel more motivated to do'. Corrects verb forms ('energizing') and infinitive verb usage ('to do').

× I used to take a piano classes when I was a child, but I waited long such a long time ago so now I can't even recognize notes.

✓ I used to take piano lessons when I was a child, but that was such a long time ago that now I can't even recognize notes.

Errors: 'a piano classes' mixes articles and plural — correct to 'piano lessons' (no article). 'I waited long such a long time ago' is ungrammatical; replace with 'that was such a long time ago'. Maintains past habit 'used to' and explains present inability using 'now'.

× Don't, because that kind of music I listen to requires full immersion to understand it.

✓ No, because the kind of music I listen to requires full immersion to understand.

'Don't' is incorrect response to 'Do you listen...' Use 'No'. Word order 'that kind of music I listen to' is informal and awkward; rephrase to 'the kind of music I listen to'. Remove redundant 'it' at end. Maintain present simple 'requires'.

× Uh, deep sense and uh, it's musical difficulty.

✓ It has a deep sense and musical complexity.

Original is fragmented and ungrammatical. 'Deep sense' needs a verb: 'It has a deep sense'. 'It's musical difficulty' should be noun phrase 'musical complexity' for naturalness. Use present simple 'has'.