Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Melhore a precisão gramatical e a naturalidade. Evite erros como "depends of" (use "depends on") e repetições. Mantenha respostas diretas com uma frase-tópico seguida de 1–2 frases de apoio concisas; use conectores simples como "however" ou "when" para ligar ideias. Varie o vocabulário com palavras como "melancholic" ou "upbeat" em vez de repetir "sad/happy".

例: It depends on my mood. When I'm feeling down I usually prefer melancholic songs because their lyrics help me process my feelings; however, when I'm energetic I choose upbeat music to keep my momentum.

提案: Corrija erros gramaticais e escolha vocabulário mais apropriado: evite frases confusas como "so which means" e termos incorretos como "beated" (use "upbeat" or "rhythmic"). Seja conciso: uma frase-tópico clara e uma frase de apoio com exemplos ou razões. Use conectores como "therefore" ou "so" corretamente.

例: Yes — upbeat music usually lifts my spirits and makes me feel more energetic. For instance, when I play a rhythmic pop song while cleaning, I find myself moving faster and feeling happier.

提案: Melhore a clareza e correção gramatical. Evite construções longas e redundantes como "which means that I gave up" — diga simplesmente "I gave up". Use tempos verbais consistentes e naturais: "I regret not being more dedicated". Limite a resposta a 2–3 frases com um detalhe específico (por exemplo, por que desistiu).

例: I tried taking piano lessons as a child but I gave up because I found the practice too difficult at the time. Looking back, I regret not being more committed, since a few more years of practice might have made me much better.

提案: Ajuste pequenos erros de vocabulário e fluidez: elimine "it" em "upbeat it and energetic" e use estruturas mais naturais como "listening to music makes chores more enjoyable". Comece com uma frase-tópico direta e acrescente um exemplo concreto e breve. Use adjectivos precisos: "upbeat" ou "energetic".

例: Yes — listening to music makes routine tasks more enjoyable and helps time pass quickly. For example, when I'm washing the dishes I usually play upbeat, energetic songs to stay motivated.

× I believe that it depends of the situation that I'm in.

✓ I believe that it depends on the situation I'm in.

Use 'depends on' not 'depends of'. The correct preposition after 'depend' is 'on'. Also omit the unnecessary 'that' for conciseness.

× So basically depends of my mood.

✓ So basically it depends on my mood.

Sentence is missing a subject. Add 'it' and use the correct preposition 'on' after 'depends' to form a complete sentence.

× so which means that when I'm feeling a little bit down and I play a beated song, I tend to feel more energetic and more active.

✓ which means that when I'm feeling a little bit down and I play an upbeat song, I tend to feel more energetic and more active.

The adjective 'beated' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'upbeat' to describe lively, happy music. Also begin the clause with 'which means' (no leading 'so' needed) to connect ideas clearly.

× So at the end, happy music can influence my mood and transform my feelings into a more active person.

✓ So in the end, happy music can influence my mood and make me a more active person.

Use 'in the end' rather than 'at the end' in this context. Also 'transform my feelings into a more active person' is ungrammatical; use 'make me a more active person' to correctly express causing a change in the speaker.

× When I was a child, I attempted to take piano lessons but I wasn't successful in those practices, which means that I gave up on the lessons.

✓ When I was a child, I tried to take piano lessons but I wasn't successful in those lessons, so I gave them up.

Use 'tried' rather than 'attempted to take' for natural past usage. 'Practices' is awkward here; 'lessons' is correct. Use past sequence 'so I gave them up' rather than present 'which means'.

× But looking back now, I do regret it not being more dedicated and engaging with those practices because I could be a professional at the moment.

✓ But looking back now, I do regret not having been more dedicated and engaged with those lessons, because I might be a professional now.

The original has incorrect word order 'I do regret it not being more dedicated' and wrong verb forms. Use 'regret not having been' to express past regret, 'engaged' as adjective, and 'might be a professional now' to indicate possibility.

× I believe that listening to music when you're doing ordinary activities can make things more engaging and time goes faster.

✓ I believe that listening to music when you're doing ordinary activities can make things more engaging and make time go faster.

The clause 'time goes faster' is better expressed as 'make time go faster' to parallel 'make things more engaging' and to use the causative construction correctly.

× So, for example, when I am at home and I'm washing the dishes, I like to listen to upbeat it and energetic songs.

✓ So, for example, when I am at home and I'm washing the dishes, I like to listen to upbeat and energetic songs.

The word 'it' is extraneous and ungrammatical between 'upbeat' and 'and'. Remove it to correctly coordinate the two adjectives.