Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the opening sentence more direct and concise, fix small grammar issues, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two specific reasons with a linking word to support your preference. Keep responses within 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually prefer happy music because its upbeat rhythms lift my mood and help me concentrate. For example, I often play lively pop when I’m commuting or studying because it keeps me energetic and focused.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence then explain with a specific effect and a concise example. Correct grammar (e.g., "because of its upbeat tune"), avoid vague phrasing like "better because if it's happy mood." Use linking words such as "because" or "so" to connect ideas coherently.

例: Yes — it usually makes me feel more energetic because of its upbeat tempo, so tasks feel less tiring. For instance, when I listen to cheerful pop, I find it easier to finish household chores quickly.

提案: Start with a direct answer, then give concise background and link past experience to current practice. Fix tense and repetition errors ("continue continued" → "continue" or "have continued"). Limit to 3–4 sentences and add one specific detail about your self-study method to strengthen content.

例: No, I haven’t taken formal classes recently; I’m teaching myself the ukulele. I learned the recorder and basics of the ukulele in elementary school, which motivated me to keep practicing through online tutorials and daily 20-minute practice sessions.

提案: Answer directly and then give one or two specific examples of tasks and how music helps. Try to avoid generic phrases like "whatever task that I am currently doing" and use smoother linking words such as "for example" or "for instance."

例: Yes — I often listen to music while studying or cleaning because it keeps me motivated and reduces boredom. For instance, upbeat pop helps me stay focused during revision, while R&B makes routine chores feel more enjoyable.

× Honestly it depends on my mood but I prefer happy music most of the time because it just sounds better and it's perfect for jamming or when I am on the road, for example when I am commuting or when I am studying.

✓ Honestly, it depends on my mood, but I prefer happy music most of the time because it just sounds better and is perfect for jamming or when I am on the road; for example, when I am commuting or studying.

Run-on and unnecessary repetition of 'when I am'. Use commas to separate clauses and remove repetitive 'when I am' for conciseness. 'It depends' is correct present tense; keep present progressive 'I am commuting' and 'studying' consistent. Add commas and a semicolon for clarity and flow.

× Yes, definitely. This is because it has a more upbeat tune and it makes doing things a lot easier and better because if it's happy mood.

✓ Yes, definitely. This is because it has a more upbeat tune and makes tasks a lot easier and better when I'm in a happy mood.

Incorrect pronoun/reference and awkward phrase 'if it's happy mood'. Replace 'doing things' with 'tasks' or 'things' and use 'when I'm in a happy mood' to refer to the subject. Remove redundant 'it' before 'makes' and fix 'if' to 'when' for correct condition.

× Currently, no, I am only teaching myself how to play the ukulele. However, when I was in elementary school, we had this mandatory music class where I got to learn how to play the recorder and the ukulele. That is why I continue continued learning the ukulele.

✓ Currently, no; I am only teaching myself how to play the ukulele. However, when I was in elementary school, we had a mandatory music class where I learned to play the recorder and the ukulele. That is why I continue learning the ukulele.

'Continue continued' is incorrect: mixed tenses and wrong form. Use simple past 'learned' for the past action. Use present simple 'continue' + verb-ing is acceptable: 'continue learning'. Remove redundant article 'this' before 'mandatory music class' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, definitely. This is because it helps me to stay motivated and focus on whatever task that I am currently doing.

✓ Yes, definitely. This is because it helps me stay motivated and focus on whatever task I am currently doing.

Unnecessary 'to' after 'helps me' in modern usage and redundant 'that'. Use 'helps me stay' (bare infinitive) and remove 'that' to make the relative clause correct and concise.

× For example, I love playing upbeat pop songs or R&B whenever I am studying or cleaning to help me be more entertained while doing the task.

✓ For example, I love playing upbeat pop songs or R&B whenever I am studying or cleaning to help me stay more entertained while doing the task.

Use 'stay entertained' rather than 'be more entertained' for natural collocation. Sentence is wordy: 'while doing the task' could be shortened to 'while doing tasks' or omitted if context is clear, but corrected here minimally to preserve meaning.