Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence stating preference, then give one specific reason and an example. Avoid hesitation sounds and repetition. Use linking words (however, so) to connect ideas and correct grammar (e.g., switch → switch to, 'happy songs lift my mood').

例: I usually prefer happy music because it lifts my mood. For example, when I'm feeling down I sometimes listen to a sad song to reflect, but I quickly switch to upbeat pop to feel more energetic and motivated for the rest of the day.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with a concise reason and one concrete example. Reduce hesitations and fix grammar (e.g., 'makes me feel', 'it helps me feel more positive'). Use linking words like because and for example to structure the answer.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because it energizes me and improves my mood. For example, listening to an upbeat playlist during my morning routine helps me start the day feeling positive and productive.

提案: Answer directly then provide 1–2 concise reasons with specific details. Correct grammar (use singular/plural appropriately) and improve fluency by avoiding filler words. Use linking words such as because or but to connect ideas.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I would like to. Unfortunately, there are no music schools in my town, and I also have a busy job schedule that makes it hard to attend regular lessons.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence and then list 2–3 typical activities with brief specific details. Use natural verbs (listen to music, while working) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like for example or such as to make the answer coherent.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I listen to podcasts or upbeat songs when I jog, and I usually play relaxing music while doing household chores or getting ready for work.

× Actually it depends on my mood on that day.

✓ Actually it depends on my mood that day.

Use present simple to state a general habit; 'on that day' is redundant and awkward. 'That day' is sufficient and more natural in this context.

× When I feel sad, I usually listen to another sad song and but I don't think that it will increase my spirit on that time on that day.

✓ When I feel sad, I usually listen to a sad song, but I don't think it will lift my spirits at that time.

Remove unnecessary 'another' and 'and'. Use 'a sad song' (article correction) and 'lift my spirits' is the natural collocation. 'Will' is acceptable but 'at that time' is the correct prepositional phrase. Fixed plural 'spirits'.

× So I just switched to the happy song.

✓ So I switch to happy songs.

Maintain present simple to describe habitual action. Use plural 'songs' for general preference. 'Just' can remain but is unnecessary. 'Switch to happy songs' is natural for a general habit.

× Actually happy song is more uh mid-May make mood.

✓ Actually, happy songs are more likely to lift my mood.

Correct article and number: use plural 'songs' and verb agreement 'are'. The original phrase was ungrammatical and unclear; 'more likely to lift my mood' conveys intended meaning.

× Yeah, of course happy music make me more feel more excited because when I listen to happy music, I can feel the uh, spirit from that song and I I think that umm, it can be manifesting for my daily life.

✓ Yeah, of course happy music makes me feel more excited, because when I listen to happy music I can feel the energy from the song, and I think it can have a positive effect on my daily life.

Subject-verb agreement: singular 'music' requires 'makes'. Remove duplicate 'more'. 'Spirit' replaced with 'energy' which is more natural. 'Manifesting for' is incorrect; use 'have a positive effect on'.

× Like when I hear happy music every day, I think that my life will got happier also.

✓ When I hear happy music every day, I think my life will get happier too.

Correct future construction: use 'will get' not 'will got'. 'Also' replaced with 'too' for natural placement. Removed unnecessary 'that'.

× No, I have not actually I want to take a music classes music class.

✓ No, I have not. Actually, I want to take a music class.

Split into two sentences for clarity. Use singular 'a music class' rather than 'a music classes'. Added punctuation.

× But The thing is there is no music class in my town and I don't think that I have such a time to do that kind of classes.

✓ But the thing is, there are no music classes in my town, and I don't think I have the time to take those kinds of classes.

Use plural 'classes' with 'are' (there are). 'Such a time' is incorrect; use 'the time'. 'Those kinds of classes' matches plural. Fixed capitalization of 'the'.

× Yes, I usually hear music when I'm on work or when I do jogging or running or sometimes when I take a bath and wash my clothes.

✓ Yes, I usually listen to music when I'm at work, when I jog or run, or sometimes when I take a bath or wash my clothes.

Use 'listen to music' (more natural than 'hear music'). Use preposition 'at work' not 'on work'. Use verbs 'jog or run' without 'do'. Use parallel structure with 'or'.

× I just or preparing for my work, I just listen to the music.

✓ When I'm preparing for work, I just listen to music.

Fix sentence structure by removing extraneous 'or' and duplicate 'I just'. Use 'music' without 'the' for general listening. Simplified to a single clear clause.