Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the response more concise, correct grammar (use consistent pronouns), and add one specific example of a situation when happy music helps you. Use one linking phrase to connect ideas and keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and gives me energy for the day. For example, upbeat pop songs help me feel motivated during my morning routine, which improves my focus when I start work. Because of that, I’m generally more productive.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases and be specific about how music makes you excited. Use a linking word to show cause and effect, and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms boost my energy and creativity. For instance, listening to lively tracks often helps me brainstorm new ideas for projects.

提案: Make the answer grammatically correct and more concise; explain briefly why classes are unavailable and, if possible, mention any alternative ways you learn music. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use a linking word for clarity.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because there are few options near my hometown. However, I learn from online tutorials and YouTube videos, which help me practice instruments at home.

提案: Be more precise with vocabulary (e.g., 'tasks', 'genres') and avoid broad claims like ‘improve my discipline’ without explanation. Use one linking phrase to connect examples to the main point and keep to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing tasks such as cooking, running, or washing my car. I usually choose upbeat genres like hip hop and rap because their tempo helps me stay focused and maintain a steady pace during activities.

× I prefer happy music as it can improve your morale for the whole day and gives you a boost of energy for throughout the day which can improve your productivity and focus on many tasks.

✓ I prefer happy music as it can improve my morale for the whole day and give me a boost of energy throughout the day, which can improve my productivity and focus on many tasks.

The speaker shifts from first-person perspective to second-person with 'your'; maintain consistent pronoun use (my, me). 'Gives you a boost' should agree with subject 'it' and the first-person perspective: use 'give me a boost'. Remove 'for' before 'throughout the day' as it is redundant. Also use a comma before the non-restrictive clause 'which can improve...'. Suggestions: keep pronouns consistent with the speaker (I/my/me), ensure verb forms agree with the subject.

× Yes, so absolutely happy music makes me more feel more excited because it helps me to generate new ideas and it can improve my knowledge about different kind of music and as a result it can make me feel more excited.

✓ Yes, absolutely, happy music makes me feel more excited because it helps me generate new ideas and can improve my knowledge about different kinds of music; as a result, it can make me feel more excited.

'More feel more excited' has incorrect adverb placement and duplication; correct form is 'feel more excited'. 'Absolutely' should be set off by commas. 'Helps me to generate' is acceptable, but 'helps me generate' is more natural. 'Different kind of music' should be 'different kinds of music' for plurality. Use a semicolon or period to avoid a run-on sentence. Remove redundant repetition of 'more excited' if possible; here it is retained but rephrased for clarity. Suggestions: place adverbs before the main verb ('feel more excited'), avoid duplicate words, pluralize countable nouns.

× No, I have not taken any music classes till now because it is difficult to find a music class near my hometown because it is not a common in my area to learn music and instrumental things.

✓ No, I have not taken any music classes so far because it is difficult to find a music class near my hometown; it is not common in my area to learn music or instruments.

'Till now' is acceptable but 'so far' is more natural with present perfect. 'Because' was repeated causing redundancy; combine clauses with a semicolon. 'It is not a common' is incorrect: 'common' does not need 'a' here. 'Instrumental things' is informal and vague; use 'instruments'. Suggestions: use 'so far' with present perfect, avoid repeating conjunctions, remove unnecessary articles before 'common', use precise nouns like 'instruments'.

× Yes, I like to listen to music while doing a lot of task, for example while cooking, running and washing my car. So I like to listen happy music like hip hop and rap music which helps me to stay focused and improve my discipline.

✓ Yes, I like to listen to music while doing a lot of tasks, for example cooking, running, and washing my car. I like to listen to happy music like hip-hop and rap, which helps me stay focused and improve my discipline.

'A lot of task' should be plural: 'a lot of tasks'. When listing activities, omit repeated 'while'. 'Listen happy music' is incorrect; use 'listen to happy music'. 'Hip hop' as a compound is commonly written 'hip-hop'. The clause 'which helps me to stay': 'helps me stay' is more natural without 'to'. Suggestions: pluralize countable nouns after quantifiers, use 'listen to' with music, maintain parallel structure in lists, hyphenate compound genre names.