Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and reduce hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repeating words and fillers (uh, I, I).

例: I like both sad and happy music, but I prefer happy music because it boosts my energy and helps me relax. For example, when I feel low I play upbeat songs to lift my mood.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then add a concise reason with one linking word. Reduce repetition and unclear phrases like "access excited." Use precise vocabulary such as "motivated" or "uplifted."

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because I listen to it every day. For instance, upbeat songs motivate me before workouts and improve my mood quickly.

提案: Use correct grammar for negatives and verb forms ("I haven't taken" not "haven't take"). Give a brief reason and a specific plan for learning. Limit to two sentences max to meet the natural & effective rule.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I would like to learn pop singing to improve my voice. I plan to join a beginner vocal course next month to practice technique and breath control.

提案: Answer directly and use linking words for examples (e.g., "for example"). Remove hesitations and repetition. Give one or two specific activities and the effect of music on those activities.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I play upbeat and motivational songs when I exercise or run because they help me keep up my pace and feel more energetic.

× I like both happy and sad music depending on my moods.

✓ I like both happy and sad music depending on my mood.

Use singular 'mood' because 'depending on' refers to the speaker's current state at a given time; 'moods' suggests multiple separate moods but the usual collocation is 'depending on my mood'. Use of preposition 'on' is correct; the error is the choice of plural noun.

× As obviously happy music makes me feel more ex excited because uh happy music is a part of my daily life, daily routine.

✓ Obviously, happy music makes me feel more excited because it is part of my daily routine.

Remove filler 'As' and duplicate words. Reorder for clarity: start with 'Obviously,' then subject 'happy music' and verb 'makes'. Use 'excited' (not 'ex excited') and 'part of my daily routine' is the correct collocation. This fixes sentence structure and removes disfluencies.

× I usually listen happy music because it makes me motivate and feel access excited and feel uh happy.

✓ I usually listen to happy music because it motivates me and makes me feel excited and happy.

Add the preposition 'to' after 'listen' (listen to). Use correct verb forms: 'motivates me' (not 'makes me motivate') and 'makes me feel' for consistency. 'Access excited' is incorrect; use 'excited'. This addresses quantifier/word choice and verb construction errors.

× No, I haven't take my music classes till now, but obviously I want to learn music classes to improve my music.

✓ No, I haven't taken music classes so far, but I obviously want to take classes to improve my music.

After 'haven't' use past participle 'taken' (present perfect). 'Till now' is better phrased as 'so far'. Use 'take classes' rather than 'learn music classes'. This fixes the verb form and improves natural phrasing.

× I usually listens uh, happy music and I, I'm, I'm ready to learn uh, happy music and uh, pop song music.

✓ I usually listen to happy music, and I'm ready to learn pop songs and happy music.

Use 'listen' (not 'listens') to match subject 'I'. Add 'to' after 'listen'. 'Pop song music' is awkward; use 'pop songs'. Remove repeated 'I'm' for fluency. This corrects subject-verb agreement and word choice.

× As obviously I listen, I listen music while doing other things, uh, like whenever I'm doing, uh, exercise and doing running, uh, it makes me feel umm, more energetic.

✓ Obviously, I listen to music while doing other things, like exercising or running; it makes me feel more energetic.

Use 'listen to music' not 'listen music'. Replace 'doing exercise and doing running' with 'exercising or running' for natural verb forms. Reorder and remove filler 'As obviously' for clarity. This fixes preposition use and awkward verb phrases.

× Whenever I listen happy music and motivational music, uh, for more, I listen music uh, when uh, doing my uh, daily.

✓ Whenever I listen to happy or motivational music, I often listen while doing my daily activities.

Add 'to' after 'listen'. Replace 'for more' and fragmented ending with 'I often listen while doing my daily activities' to convey meaning. 'Doing my daily' is incomplete — specify 'daily activities'. This corrects preposition use and completes the sentence structure.