Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, clarity and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and avoid redundancy. Use a linking phrase to explain why mood affects your choice and give a brief specific example.

例: It depends on my mood. If I'm feeling sad, I usually listen to happy songs to lift my spirits; for example, upbeat pop makes me feel more positive. On the other hand, when I want to reflect, I choose slower, sad songs to process my emotions.

提案: Correct subject-verb agreement and use more natural expressions. Provide one clear reason and one concise result using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like “full spirit.”

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because of its fast tempo and catchy melodies. As a result, I feel energetic and more engaged in the present moment.

提案: Use correct tense and articles, and organize information logically. Start with a direct statement about taking lessons, then add one supporting detail (duration or purpose) and another about teaching. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I take piano lessons because I enjoy the instrument and want to improve my technique. In addition, I teach piano to a few students, which helps me reinforce what I learn.

提案: Complete your sentences and fix grammar (use gerunds and correct verb forms). Give one clear reason with a linking word and a specific example of an activity. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things because it helps me relax and concentrate. For example, I play soft instrumental music when I study, which reduces stress and improves my focus.

× It's best on my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

The original uses an incorrect fixed phrase 'best on' causing sentence structure error; 'depend on' is the correct verb phrase to express that preference changes with mood. Suggestion: use 'It depends on my mood' to convey conditional preference.

× If I'm sad I want to hear happy music and if I'm in the mood to hear sad song then I hear it.

✓ If I'm sad, I want to hear happy music, and if I'm in the mood to hear a sad song, I listen to one.

Errors include missing commas and wrong noun form 'sad song' (needs article) and awkward verb choice 'hear it'. Use present simple for habitual actions: 'want' and 'listen'. Add article 'a' before 'sad song' and replace 'hear it' with 'listen to one' for clarity.

× Yes, it make me feel more excited and more into the moments.

✓ Yes, it makes me feel more excited and more into the moment.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it' requires third person singular verb 'makes' not 'make'. Also 'into the moments' is incorrect idiomatically; use 'into the moment' or 'more in the moment'. Suggest: 'it makes me feel more excited and more in the moment.'

× It also makes me energetic and full spirit.

✓ It also makes me energetic and full of spirit.

Missing preposition 'of' after 'full' to modify 'spirit'. Without 'of' the phrase is ungrammatical. Use 'full of spirit' or 'full-spirited' as alternatives.

× Yes, I take a piano classes because I like piano and I like the music and I also teach piano in few students.

✓ Yes, I take piano classes because I like the piano and music, and I also teach piano to a few students.

Several tense and article issues: 'take' can be present simple for regular action but 'a piano classes' mixes singular article with plural noun; remove 'a'. Use 'the piano' when talking about the instrument in general. 'In few students' is incorrect preposition and quantifier; use 'to a few students.' Suggest clearer punctuation and conjunction use.

× Yes, I love to. Hearing music while I'm doing things because it makes me more relaxed or help me to focus.

✓ Yes, I love to. I listen to music while I'm doing things because it makes me more relaxed and helps me to focus.

Sentence fragment and verb form errors: 'Hearing music while I'm doing things because...' lacks main clause subject; better to say 'I listen to music while I'm doing things.' Parallel verbs need agreement: 'helps' (third person singular) instead of 'help'. Also replace 'or' with 'and' if both effects apply. Maintain consistent structure.

× For example, if I hear.

✓ For example, if I hear music while studying, I can concentrate better.

The original is an incomplete clause ('if I hear' what?). Provide a complete conditional result to match context. Ensure the conditional clause is followed by a main clause to form a full sentence.