Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify and correct vocabulary and grammar, keep responses concise (max 5 sentences), and add a clear topic sentence followed by one specific supporting detail using a linking phrase. Replace unclear words (e.g. "MIL", "for their skin", "big song") with accurate terms and use correct tense and agreement.

例: I prefer happy music because it helps me clear my mind and lift my mood. For example, after a stressful day at work, I listen to upbeat pop songs to relax and feel more positive.

提案: Fix subject–verb agreement and word choice, use linking words for coherence, and give one specific example. Keep sentences short and natural and avoid repetition.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because it lifts my mood and energizes me. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop or instrumental tracks while walking, and they help me feel motivated and positive.

提案: Use clear conditional structure and correct word order; remove hesitations and unclear phrases (e.g. "should test guitar", "reduce chest up"). Provide a concise topic sentence then one specific reason with a linking word.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but if I had the chance I would learn the guitar. I think learning an instrument would help me relax and unwind after a long day.

提案: Remove filler words and fix grammar (subject–verb agreement, word choice), use a clear topic sentence followed by a specific example with a linking phrase. Be precise about activities and the type of music.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores like cleaning my room because it makes the task more enjoyable and helps me relax. For example, upbeat pop songs keep my energy up and make the time pass faster.

× I actually prefer MIL happy music because it helped me clear my mind and lift my mood.

✓ I actually prefer mild, happy music because it helps me clear my mind and lift my mood.

The original uses 'MIL' which appears to be a typo; 'mild' fits context. Also tense consistency: use simple present 'helps' for general preference. Suggestion: replace 'MIL' with 'mild' and use 'helps' to describe habitual effect.

× For example, after stress for their skin, I listened to a big song to to relax and feel more positive.

✓ For example, when I am stressed, I listen to a slow song to relax and feel more positive.

The original phrase 'after stress for their skin' is unclear and ungrammatical; likely intended 'when I am stressed.' Also correct verb tense for habitual action is present simple 'listen.' Remove duplicate 'to' and replace 'big song' with a suitable adjective 'slow' or 'soft' to match context.

× Yes, happy music definitely make me feel more excited.

✓ Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited.

Subject 'happy music' is singular, so the verb should be 'makes' (third person singular). Suggestion: use 'makes' to agree with singular subject.

× It leave my mood and energize me, especially when I'm feeling sad.

✓ It lifts my mood and energizes me, especially when I'm feeling sad.

Pronoun 'It' is fine but verbs must agree and be correct collocations: 'leave my mood' is incorrect; correct is 'lift(s) my mood.' Also use third person singular verbs 'lifts' and 'energizes' to agree with 'it.' Use parallel verb forms.

× For example, I often listen to a big pop or instrumental music while walking and it helps me feel motivated and more positive.

✓ For example, I often listen to pop or instrumental music while walking, and it helps me feel motivated and more positive.

The adjective 'big' is inappropriate for music genres; remove it. Also 'music' after 'pop' doesn't need 'a'; use plural/uncountable 'pop or instrumental music.' Add comma before coordinating conjunction for clarity.

× To be honest I haven't taken any music classes in the past but if I get the chance I will take one soon.

✓ To be honest, I haven't taken any music classes in the past, but if I get the chance I will take one soon.

No major modal error, but punctuation and clarity improved. 'Will' is correct for future intention. Suggestion: add commas to separate clauses.

× I I think learning an instrument should test guitar would help me relax and reduce chest up to a long day.

✓ I think learning an instrument, such as the guitar, would help me relax and recover after a long day.

Original has duplicate 'I', garbled phrase 'should test guitar' and 'reduce chest up to a long day' which are ungrammatical. Clarify meaning by offering example 'such as the guitar' and use 'would help me relax and recover after a long day.' Use conditional 'would' for hypothetical benefit.

× Yes, Ioffer listening to music when I'm cleaning my room uh during assessment because it's make me more enjoyable and have me relax and stay positive.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music when I'm cleaning my room or studying, because it makes me more relaxed and helps me stay positive.

Multiple issues: 'Ioffer' is typo for 'I often'; 'uh during assessment' is unclear, likely 'or studying'; verb agreement 'it makes' (third person singular) and wrong adjective use 'more enjoyable' should be 'more relaxed.' Also 'have me relax' should be 'helps me relax.' Use clear nouns and correct verb forms.

× For example of big songs, keep my energy up and make the time pass faster.

✓ For example, upbeat songs keep my energy up and make the time pass faster.

Original 'of big songs' is incorrect; replace with 'upbeat songs' which fits context. Ensure subject-verb agreement: 'upbeat songs keep' (plural). Also add comma after 'For example'.