Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use present simple), and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid redundancy and awkward phrases.

例: I prefer happy music. For example, upbeat songs help me relax and lift my mood, so I can forget about stressful thoughts and focus on positive feelings.

提案: Give a direct answer first, then explain with clear linking words and specific examples. Fix subject–verb agreement and avoid vague endings. Limit to two to three sentences.

例: Not always — happy music usually makes me feel relaxed rather than excited. For instance, listening to mellow pop helps me concentrate while studying, whereas fast dance music sometimes energizes me.

提案: Answer directly and use correct past tense and vocabulary. Provide one or two clear details about what you learned, using linking words to connect ideas. Replace unclear phrases (e.g. “music crush”) with precise terms.

例: Yes, I took music classes when I was a child. I learned to play the guitar and studied basic music theory, which helped me recognize different genres and rhythms.

提案: Be concise and consistent with tense. State a clear habit and give a specific example of what you do while listening, using linking words for coherence. Avoid awkward phrasing like “cut the important part already.”

例: Yes, I often listen to music while I study or do household chores. For example, I play instrumental tracks when I do homework, and sometimes I watch music videos to pick out useful clips for my project.

× I extremely prefer happy music, of course, because when I listened happy music I feel relaxed and I feel that my all of that is out from my mind.

✓ I strongly prefer happy music, of course, because when I listen to happy music I feel relaxed and as if all of that is out of my mind.

Errors: 'extremely prefer' is awkward; 'strongly prefer' or 'really prefer' is natural. 'when I listened happy music' mixes tenses and misses preposition; change to present simple 'when I listen to happy music'. 'I feel that my all of that is out from my mind' is ungrammatical: use 'as if all of that is out of my mind' or 'as if all of that has left my mind'. Suggestion: use correct adverb choice, keep consistent present tense, add preposition 'to', and use natural phrasing 'as if' or 'has left'.

× At some certain point I think happy music make me feel comfortable and feel relaxed rather than excited.

✓ At certain times I think happy music makes me feel comfortable and relaxed rather than excited.

Errors: 'At some certain point' is awkward; use 'At certain times' or 'Sometimes'. Subject-verb agreement: 'happy music make' should be 'happy music makes' (third-person singular). Also avoid repeating 'feel'. Suggestion: simplify to 'makes me feel comfortable and relaxed' and use present simple for habitual effects.

× And sometimes I think happy music make me calm and I also get high concentration or focus on what.

✓ Sometimes I think happy music makes me calm and helps me concentrate or focus on what I'm doing.

Errors: 'happy music make' should be 'happy music makes' (subject-verb agreement). 'I also get high concentration' is unidiomatic; use 'helps me concentrate' or 'I can concentrate better'. 'focus on what' is incomplete; specify 'what I'm doing'. Suggestion: use 'helps me concentrate' and complete the object of 'focus'.

× Yes, when I was a child, but it was long time ago. During that time I play guitar and I learned some music crush which I can categorize some type of music from the class.

✓ Yes, when I was a child, but it was a long time ago. During that time I played guitar and I learned some music theory which helped me categorize different types of music from the class.

Errors: 'it was long time ago' needs article 'a long time ago'. Tense inconsistency: 'During that time I play guitar' should be past 'I played guitar'. 'some music crush' is incorrect word choice; likely 'music theory' or 'music basics'. 'which I can categorize some type of music from the class' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'which helped me categorize different types of music'. Suggestion: keep past tense for past activities and use correct vocabulary 'music theory' or 'basic music lessons'.

× Yes, sure, while I am listening to music I also did some homework or sometimes I also watch the video clip and try to cut the important part already.

✓ Yes, sure. While I am listening to music I also do homework, and sometimes I watch video clips and try to cut out the important parts.

Errors: Mixed tenses: 'while I am listening to music I also did some homework' mixes present continuous with past; use present 'do homework' for habitual action. 'watch the video clip' should be plural or 'watch video clips'. 'try to cut the important part already' is unidiomatic; use 'try to cut out the important parts' and omit 'already'. Suggestion: keep consistent present tense for habitual actions, use plural 'parts' and verb phrase 'cut out'.