Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, use correct countable/uncountable forms (music is uncountable), and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Aim for 2–3 sentences and correct comparative structure.

例: I prefer happy music because it is energetic and lifts my mood. For example, upbeat songs with strong rhythms motivate me to be more positive and productive.

提案: Give a direct answer then support it with a clear reason and an example. Use correct adjectives (music is not 'excited'; people feel excited) and linking words like 'because' or 'for example'. Keep sentences concise and avoid repetition.

例: Yes. Happy music makes me feel excited because the fast tempo increases my energy. For example, when I hear upbeat pop songs I feel more motivated to exercise.

提案: Answer directly and then give concise supporting details. Use past and present tenses correctly and avoid fillers. Explain briefly your past interest and current situation with linking words like 'but' or 'however'.

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes, but I used to play the piano and sing when I was a child. However, I am very busy with work and studies now, so I don't have time to take lessons.

提案: Be specific and use natural collocations (listen to music, go running). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example and reason. Use linking words such as 'for example' or 'because' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For example, in the mornings I listen to energetic, happy songs while running because they help me keep a steady pace and feel motivated.

× I prefer to happy musics because happy musics, uh, which are very, uh, energetic and uh, it can help us, uh, to improve our mood, boost our mood.

✓ I prefer happy music because happy music is very energetic and it can help us improve or boost our mood.

The sentence used incorrect forms: 'to happy musics' should be 'happy music' (music is an uncountable noun and does not take 'to' or plural 'musics'). 'which are' is incorrect for the singular uncountable noun 'music' so use 'is'. 'it can help us, to improve our mood' contains an unnecessary 'to' before 'improve'. Suggest using 'improve or boost our mood' for clarity.

× That's why I prefer to happy music than sad music because sad musics are make sad.

✓ That's why I prefer happy music to sad music because sad music makes me feel sad.

Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer to A than B'. 'Music' is uncountable, so not 'musics'. Also 'are make sad' is ungrammatical: you need a singular verb for uncountable 'music' and a correct verb form 'makes'. Specify the experiencer 'me' for clarity.

× Yes happy musicals are very excited that's why if we listen happy music we are more we will more excited and also our mood can boost then past.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel excited. That's why if we listen to happy music, we will feel more excited and our mood will be boosted than before.

'Musicals' is wrong here; use 'music'. 'Are very excited' incorrectly uses an adjective for music; music 'makes (people) feel excited' so use a verb construction. Missing 'to' after 'listen'. 'We are more we will more excited' has tense and structure errors; use 'we will feel more excited'. 'Then past' is incorrect phrase; use 'than before' or 'than before' to compare previous state.

× Uh, no, but I want, and in my childhood I very, uh, into, uh, playing piano and uh, singing, singing a song.

✓ No, but I want to. In my childhood I was very into playing the piano and singing.

The original mixes present desire with past habit. 'I want' needs 'to' if followed by a verb; here a standalone 'I want to' implies 'want to learn'. To describe past interest use past tense 'was very into'. Use 'the piano' for the instrument and 'singing' rather than 'singing a song' which is redundant.

× That's why, uh, now I have a lot of tasks and uh, study also other, uh, other events.

✓ That's why now I have a lot of tasks and studies and other events.

Ambiguous structure: 'study also other, other events' is unclear. If the speaker means they have studies (schoolwork) and other activities, use plural nouns 'studies and other events' or 'other activities'. Maintain present simple 'I have' for current state.

× That's why I have no spare time for music.

✓ That's why I have no spare time for music.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It uses correct present simple to describe a current state.

× Uh, yes, I always, uh, listen music while I use, I do uh, something, uh, for example, in my mornings, I prefer to uh, happy music and energetic music to uh, for training with sport like running or doing other exercises.

✓ Yes, I always listen to music while I do something. For example, in the mornings I prefer happy and energetic music for training, such as running or doing other exercises.

Use 'listen to music' not 'listen music'. Remove filler words and correct order: 'while I do something' is fine. 'Prefer to happy music' should be 'prefer happy music' and 'for training with sport' is unnatural; use 'for training' or 'for sports activities' and 'such as running' for examples.