Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Nói trực tiếp hơn, sửa ngữ pháp và dùng câu ngắn gọn, tránh lặp ý và hoàn thành câu chưa xong. Cụ thể: (1) Bắt đầu bằng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng; (2) Sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: “I prefer” thay vì “I refer listening to”); (3) Giải thích thêm 1 lý do cụ thể và kết thúc gọn trong tối đa 3 câu. Ví dụ, nêu hoàn cảnh cụ thể khi bạn nghe nhạc vui và cảm xúc bạn nhận được.

例: I prefer happy music. I usually listen to upbeat songs after a long day at work because they help me relax and boost my mood. For example, cheerful pop tunes make me feel more energetic and less stressed.

提案: Cải thiện: Sửa ngữ pháp động từ và dùng liên từ phù hợp, tránh cụm từ không tự nhiên như “push myself up”. Cụ thể: (1) Dùng thì và dạng động từ chính xác (e.g., “makes me”); (2) Thêm liên từ để kết nối lý do và kết quả; (3) Nêu ví dụ cụ thể về bài hát hoặc cảm giác để cụ thể hoá ý.

例: Yes, it does. Happy music usually has positive lyrics and upbeat melodies, which make me feel more energetic and motivated. For instance, listening to an uplifting pop song after work lifts my spirits and helps me unwind.

提案: Cải thiện: Cần tổ chức câu rõ ràng, sửa lỗi từ vựng và ngữ pháp, bỏ phần lặp và hoàn thành ý. Cụ thể: (1) Nói rõ thời gian và mục đích (e.g., “last week I joined a piano class”); (2) Sửa danh từ số nhiều/số ít và cấu trúc “become a piano player”; (3) Giữ câu ngắn (1-2 câu) và nêu kế hoạch rõ ràng.

例: Yes, I have. Last week I joined a beginner piano class because I want to improve my skills. I hope to become a piano player in the future and plan to practice for at least 30 minutes every day.

提案: Cải thiện: Làm rõ ý về loại nhạc và sửa cụm từ sai (ví dụ “opposite melodies” không rõ nghĩa). Cụ thể: (1) Nói rõ bạn thích nhạc không lời hoặc nhạc nhẹ; (2) Giải thích ngắn lý do vì sao nó giúp tập trung; (3) Tránh nói kết quả quá tuyệt đối (ví dụ “make my score better”)—nói nó có thể giúp cải thiện tập trung.

例: Yes, I usually listen to music while doing my homework. I prefer instrumental or soft background music because it helps me concentrate and stay calm. It often makes studying more enjoyable and can help me focus better.

× Because I am an extrovert person, so I refer listening to happy music.

✓ Because I am an extroverted person, I prefer listening to happy music.

You used 'extrovert' as a noun where the adjective 'extroverted' is required to modify 'person.' Also 'refer' is wrong; the correct verb is 'prefer.' Remove the redundant conjunction 'so' after 'Because.' Suggestion: use adjective forms with 'am' (I am extroverted) and the verb 'prefer' when stating preference.

× Listening to happy music can help me feel relaxed and comfortable after a long day at work or at school.

✓ Listening to happy music can help me feel relaxed and comfortable after a long day at work or at school.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The gerund 'Listening' and the structure 'help me feel' are used appropriately. No change needed.

× Additionally, happy music can be more.

✓ Additionally, happy music can improve my mood further.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks an object or complement after 'more.' Provide a clear comparative result (e.g., 'improve my mood further') to complete the idea. Suggestion: always ensure comparatives are followed by the aspect being compared.

× Yes, of course, listening to happy music make me feel more excited because happy music always include the positive lyrics and positive tunes which can push myself up, help me feel better after a tired day.

✓ Yes, of course, listening to happy music makes me feel more excited because happy music always includes positive lyrics and upbeat tunes which can lift me up and help me feel better after a tiring day.

Subject-verb agreement: 'listening' as a singular gerund requires 'makes' not 'make.' 'Include' should be 'includes' to agree with singular 'music.' 'Myself' is incorrect reflexive use; use 'me.' 'Positive tunes' is fine but 'upbeat' is more natural. 'Push up' is unnatural here; use 'lift me up.' 'Tired day' should be 'tiring day' to describe the day that caused tiredness. Suggestions: match verbs to singular gerunds, avoid unnecessary reflexive pronouns, and choose appropriate adjective forms.

× I'm the big fan of the piano players, so in the last week I've joined a piano classes which could help me practice my passion to more better and to become and I want to become a piano players in the future.

✓ I'm a big fan of piano players, so last week I joined a piano class to help me practice my passion and become a piano player in the future.

Article and noun number errors: use 'a big fan' not 'the big fan.' 'Piano players' fine plural, but 'a piano class' (singular) matches 'joined.' 'I've joined' can be 'I joined' or 'I have joined'; 'last week' usually pairs with simple past 'I joined.' Remove redundant words 'to more better' (incorrect comparative) and 'and to become and I want to become' which is repetitive. Use 'become a piano player' (singular). Suggestions: ensure articles match countable nouns, use simple past with specific time expressions, avoid redundant phrases, and use correct comparative/adjective forms.

× Yes, I usually listen to music while doing my homework.

✓ Yes, I usually listen to music while doing my homework.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'Usually' with present simple 'listen' correctly expresses habitual action. No change needed.

× Listening to music without lyrics or the opposite melodies can make me feel concentrated on my lessons easily and can make my score better.

✓ Listening to instrumental music or simple melodies without lyrics helps me concentrate on my lessons and can improve my grades.

Phrases like 'without lyrics or the opposite melodies' are unclear; 'instrumental music' or 'simple melodies without lyrics' is clearer. 'Make me feel concentrated' is incorrect; use 'help me concentrate.' 'Can make my score better' is unnatural; use 'can improve my grades.' Suggestions: prefer precise vocabulary ('instrumental', 'concentrate', 'grades') and use verbs that collocate naturally (help + verb infinitive).