Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clear and grammatically correct. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “I prefer...”), then give one or two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler phrases and reduce repetition. Correct basic grammar (subject-verb order, verb forms, articles) and use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “energetic” instead of “energetics”).

例: I don’t have a fixed preference; it depends on my mood. If I want to feel energetic or dance with friends, I choose upbeat pop songs. However, when I’m alone and reflective, I often listen to sad, mellow music to match my feelings.

提案: Answer directly and concisely. Use a clear topic sentence (“Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited”) then give a couple of specific examples of effect and activities, using correct tense and grammar. Remove repetition and fillers. Use linking words like 'so' or 'then' to show cause and effect.

例: Yes, happy music definitely excites me. When I feel low, I listen to upbeat rap or pop to lift my mood, so I become motivated to finish my homework or help my mother with housework.

提案: Give a direct response and then specific details about your musical experience. Use past tense for childhood activities and present continuous for current study. Avoid fillers and improve sentence structure. Mention how often you practiced or what you enjoy about the instrument for more depth.

例: Yes. I used to take piano lessons as a child, but I found long practice sessions difficult. At the moment I’m learning the guitar because I enjoy its versatility and find it more engaging for singing and performing.

提案: Be specific about when and why you listen to music. Use clear vocabulary (e.g., “earphones” or “noise-cancelling headphones,” “public transport”) and coherent sentences with correct verbs. Explain one or two typical activities you do while listening and how music helps you, with linking words for clarity.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while commuting on public transport, using noise-cancelling headphones to block out background noise. I also play soft music when studying online because it helps me concentrate and keeps me relaxed.

× Well, you know, it depends on what am I right that moment, because sometimes that I need to have some Asian energetics songs, push my mood into upper and you know, be some performative with some ladies.

✓ Well, you know, it depends on how I am feeling at that moment, because sometimes I need some energetic Asian songs to lift my mood and be more performative with some ladies.

Incorrect present tense and word order: 'what am I right that moment' is wrong word order for a present-state clause; use 'how I am feeling at that moment'. 'Sometimes that I need' uses incorrect structure; use 'sometimes I need'. 'Asian energetics songs' contains incorrect adjective order and form; use 'energetic Asian songs'. 'Push my mood into upper' is ungrammatical; use 'lift my mood'. Also 'be some performative with some ladies' is incorrect; use 'be more performative with some ladies'. Suggestions: use subject + present simple or present continuous appropriately and correct adjective order (opinion/size/age/shape/color/origin/material + noun).

× But sometimes when I'm alone, I'm prefer to listening to sad music.

✓ But sometimes when I'm alone, I prefer to listen to sad music.

Subject-verb agreement and verb form: 'I'm prefer' incorrectly combines subject 'I' with auxiliary 'am' plus base verb; use simple present 'I prefer'. 'to listening' should be infinitive 'to listen' not gerund. Suggestion: after 'prefer' use the base infinitive 'to' + verb or follow with noun/gerund depending on structure, here 'to listen'.

× Well, of course, 'cause sometimes my was really down.

✓ Well, of course, because sometimes I feel really down.

Incorrect tense and pronoun usage: 'my was really down' mixes wrong pronoun and past tense. Use 'I feel really down' for general present tendencies. Also avoid contractions like ''cause' in formal responses. Suggestion: use subject 'I' with present simple 'feel' to describe regular emotional states.

× I'm I'm consistently turn around some rap musics to push my mood up to, you know, higher.

✓ I consistently turn to rap music to lift my mood higher.

Subject-verb agreement and noun form: 'I'm I'm consistently turn around' incorrectly includes 'am' auxiliary with simple verb; use 'I consistently turn'. 'Musics' is uncountable here; use 'music'. 'Turn around ... to push my mood up to higher' is awkward; use 'turn to rap music to lift my mood higher'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms and uncountable noun 'music'.

× And then they're gonna be, you know, motivated again to can do some, you know, homework and help my mom do some housework, kind of like swipe the floor, you know, all, all the time that I can do.

✓ And then I feel motivated again to do my homework and help my mom with housework, like sweeping the floor whenever I can.

Sentence structure and modal errors: 'they're gonna be ... motivated' incorrectly refers to 'they' and uses future colloquial 'gonna'; the student means 'I'. 'to can do' mixes modal 'can' with infinitive; use 'to do'. 'Swipe the floor' is wrong verb; use 'sweep the floor'. 'All the time that I can do' should be 'whenever I can'. Suggestions: keep subject consistent, avoid unnecessary modals, and use correct verbs for household tasks.

× Well, absolutely, yes. As a child I'm used to learn piano, but it kind of hard for me because I'm not a person who can sit down and, you know, just play, you know, peaceful a melody.

✓ Well, absolutely. As a child I used to learn piano, but it was kind of hard for me because I'm not the type of person who can sit down and just play a peaceful melody.

Tense and phrase errors: 'I'm used to learn' is incorrect; 'used to' + base verb for past habit is 'I used to learn'. Also 'it kind of hard' needs past 'was' for past reference. 'peaceful a melody' has incorrect adjective-noun order; use 'a peaceful melody'. Suggestion: for past habitual actions use 'used to' + base verb, and ensure correct article placement.

× So right now I'm learning guitar, you know, that's gonna be more interesting.

✓ So right now I'm learning the guitar; it's more interesting.

Colloquial future and article use: 'that's gonna be more interesting' is informal; 'it's more interesting' fits present continuous context. Also include definite article 'the guitar' when referring to the instrument in general. Suggestion: use 'learning the guitar' and prefer 'it's more interesting' for present experience.

× Well, absolutely, yes. Sometimes I'm putting on my airport, turn on noise cancelling into, you know, a public transport that's gonna help me, you know, reduce some other noise pollution.

✓ Well, absolutely. Sometimes I put on my AirPods and turn on noise-cancelling when I'm on public transport; that helps reduce other noise.

Incorrect vocabulary and structure: 'putting on my airport' likely means 'AirPods'. 'Turn on noise cancelling into ... a public transport' is ungrammatical; use 'turn on noise-cancelling when I'm on public transport'. 'That's gonna help me ... reduce some other noise pollution' is colloquial and wordy; use 'that helps reduce other noise'. Suggestions: use correct product name, hyphenate 'noise-cancelling', and simplify the clause.

× And can dip in my lesson online and I can text a learn exercise online.

✓ I can also join online lessons and do learning exercises online.

Sentence fragmentation and incorrect verbs: 'And can dip in my lesson online' lacks a subject and uses informal 'dip in'. 'I can text a learn exercise online' is ungrammatical: 'text' is wrong verb, 'learn exercise' incorrect noun phrase. Suggested correction uses 'join online lessons' and 'do learning exercises'. Ensure each clause has a clear subject and appropriate verbs.