Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question first, then give one or two specific reasons with clear linking words. Reduce hesitations and repetition, and correct small word-choice errors (e.g., "help happy" → "more happy" or "upbeat"). Aim for 3–4 well-structured sentences.

例: I prefer happy, upbeat music because it helps improve my mood and outlook. For example, when I feel low I intentionally play energetic songs to boost my energy, which often makes me more positive and productive. Therefore, upbeat music usually reflects in my behaviour and speech.

提案: Start with a direct yes/no then give a specific, relevant example. Avoid drifting to unrelated topics (romantic playlist is OK but explain relevance). Use one linking phrase to connect idea and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes — happy music definitely makes me feel more excited. For instance, I have a playlist of romantic and upbeat songs that lifts my mood and makes me imagine happy moments, so I often feel as if I’m experiencing a relationship even when I’m alone.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Provide one clear reason why you haven’t taken classes and one conditional statement about future possibility. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words like "because" and "however."

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes because I currently lack the time and money to attend lessons. However, if I had the resources and spare time, I would definitely take singing or vocal coaching to improve my technique.

提案: Answer directly and give two specific activities plus one specific effect. Remove filler phrases and avoid vague metaphors like "different dimension." Use linking words ("for example", "so") and correct minor grammar errors.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working or writing because it helps me concentrate and keeps my energy up. For example, upbeat instrumental tracks make me feel more focused, while mellow songs help me relax when I’m stressed.

× So that's when I started listening to help happy, upbeat music.

✓ So that's when I started listening to more happy, upbeat music.

The original sentence uses 'help' incorrectly before 'happy'; this is likely a phonetic or word-choice error, not an -ing form issue. However, to follow the provided list, the correction replaces 'help' with 'more' to convey increased listening of upbeat music. Suggestion: use 'more' to modify adjectives or use adverbs correctly (e.g., 'listening to more happy, upbeat music').

× So that it reflects in my, uh, mindset, in my, my mood and, and whatever I say or do in my.

✓ So that it reflects in my mindset, my mood, and whatever I say or do.

The original sentence repeats fillers and ends with an incomplete prepositional phrase 'in my.' Remove the trailing 'in my' and redundant words. Suggestion: avoid filler repetition and complete the list without trailing prepositions.

× I actually have a playlist for love songs and romantic songs and I think even if I don't have a romantic partner, I do feel that I am really in a relationship because I listen to those type of music.

✓ I actually have a playlist of love songs and romantic songs, and I think even if I don't have a romantic partner, I do feel that I am really in a relationship because I listen to those types of music.

Use 'playlist of' rather than 'playlist for' (preposition choice) and 'those types of music' (plural) to agree with 'those'. The original uses 'those type' which is singular after plural demonstrative. Suggestion: match demonstratives and nouns in number and use correct prepositions with 'playlist.'

× I don't and I haven't taken any music classes although I love to sing and I love listening to music.

✓ I haven't taken any music classes although I love to sing and I love listening to music.

The phrase 'I don't and I haven't taken' is ungrammatical: mixing 'I don't' with 'I haven't taken' is redundant. Use the present perfect 'I haven't taken' to indicate past experience up to now. Suggestion: remove 'I don't' to keep a single correct tense.

× I I think I I don't have the energy and the resources to go to a music school or music class, but given the chance and given the time and resources to do so, I think I would enjoy it.

✓ I think I don't have the energy or the resources to go to a music school or music class, but given the chance and the time and resources, I think I would enjoy it.

Use 'or' between two alternatives ('energy or the resources') rather than 'and' when indicating one or the other is lacking. Also remove repeated fillers. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose correct coordinating conjunction when listing alternatives.

× I do listen to music while doing other things, such as when I am working, I am writing, or even when I'm just sitting around.

✓ I do listen to music while doing other things, such as when I am working, writing, or even when I'm just sitting around.

When listing actions parallelly, keep verbs in same form without repeating 'I am'. The original repeats 'I am' unnecessarily. Suggestion: use parallel structure: 'working, writing, or sitting around.'

× I love playing music. I feel that music sets our mood, it lifts our energy, our spirits, so that when I listen to music, I feel like I'm in an. Different dimension and even if I'm stressed or or overwhelmed, music comes me and makes me feel relaxed at the same time.

✓ I love playing music. I feel that music sets our mood and lifts our energy and spirits, so when I listen to music I feel like I'm in a different dimension, and even if I'm stressed or overwhelmed, music comes to me and makes me feel relaxed at the same time.

Multiple issues: remove stray period 'an.' and join 'different' to the sentence; use 'comes to me' (missing preposition 'to'); remove duplicate 'or' and redundant commas. Suggestion: ensure prepositions are included with verbs ('comes to me') and maintain sentence continuity without stray punctuation.