Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then briefly explain why with a specific example. Avoid vague or unclear phrases (e.g. “in my purple”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas and keep responses to under five sentences.

例: I prefer both sad and happy music because it depends on my mood. For example, I listen to sad songs when I want to reflect and relaxed acoustic music helps me think, but I choose upbeat pop when I want to feel energetic. This way, music matches and enhances how I feel.

提案: Give a direct answer and support it with a clear reason and a specific situation. Remove filler words like “uh” and vague phrases such as “or whatsoever.” Use a linking word like “because” and keep the reply concise.

例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythm lifts my mood. For instance, when I play lively pop songs while cleaning the house, I work faster and feel more energetic.

提案: Answer directly and then give a brief, specific reason or example. Avoid informal or unclear phrases like “or whatsoever” and “not lonely that much.” Use correct verb tense (I haven't taken) and more precise vocabulary (songs, musicals, streaming).

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I often listen to music on Spotify. For example, I enjoy streaming musicals and playlists when I'm home alone because they keep me company and improve my mood.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and then give one or two specific examples of activities with a brief reason. Correct grammar (remove extra words like “to to”) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like “for example” or “also” to organize details.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities, especially when I'm cleaning or doing chores. For example, upbeat songs make me feel more energetic while cleaning, and soft instrumental music helps me concentrate when I'm reading.

× My answer is prefer both because I love sad and happy music.

✓ My answer is I prefer both because I love sad and happy music.

The verb phrase is missing the subject-verb structure for present tense. 'Prefer' must be used with the subject 'I' as 'I prefer'. Suggestion: include the correct subject before the verb, e.g., 'I prefer both'.

× Depends on my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

This is a sentence fragment missing a subject and verb. Adding the subject 'It' and verb 'depends' creates a complete present-tense sentence. Suggestion: use a full clause like 'It depends on my mood.'

× If I am happy or sad, I want the music or the vibe that I hear in my purple is what matching with my mood.

✓ If I am happy or sad, I want the music or the vibe that I hear to match my mood.

There are multiple issues: incorrect word 'purple' likely a wrong word choice and incorrect verb form 'is what matching'. Using the infinitive 'to match' correctly expresses purpose/result. Suggestion: remove 'purple' and restructure to 'the music or vibe that I hear to match my mood.'

× Yeah, hearing happy music while cleaning in house or whatsoever, I feel like it's more, uh, it's adding my energy to it.

✓ Yeah, hearing happy music while cleaning the house or doing other things, I feel like it adds energy to me.

The original uses 'it's adding my energy to it' which is awkward and has incorrect object. Use simple present 'adds' to describe a general effect. Also add article 'the' before 'house' and replace vague 'whatsoever' with 'doing other things'. Suggestion: 'it adds energy to me' or better 'it boosts my energy.'

× No, I don't take any music classes or whatsoever but I love hearing musicals or musics through Spotify because it makes me not lonely that much when I'm alone.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I love listening to musicals or music on Spotify because it makes me feel less lonely when I'm alone.

Use present perfect 'haven't taken' to indicate experience up to now. 'Take' is incorrect for the past/experience context. 'Musics' is uncountable so use 'music', and 'listening to' is the correct collocation. 'Makes me not lonely that much' is awkward; use 'makes me feel less lonely.' Suggestion: use 'haven't taken' and 'listening to music' and 'feel less lonely.'

× Yeah, especially when I'm cleaning in a house or doing house chores.

✓ Yeah, especially when I'm cleaning the house or doing household chores.

Use definite article 'the' before 'house' for a specific location (your home). 'Household chores' is the correct collocation rather than 'doing house chores.' Suggestion: 'cleaning the house' and 'doing household chores.'

× It's makes me more alive and active when doing something.

✓ It makes me feel more alive and active when I'm doing something.

'It's makes' is ungrammatical; use 'It makes'. Also include 'feel' to express the state, and add 'I'm' to indicate the subject when 'doing something.' Suggestion: 'It makes me feel more alive and active when I'm doing something.'

× And also when I'm reading or I want to make other activities. I want to to add more music.

✓ Also, when I'm reading or doing other activities, I want to add more music.

The first sentence is a fragment and uses 'make other activities' which is incorrect; use 'doing other activities'. The second has a duplicated 'to' and should combine into one sentence with correct verb forms: 'I want to add more music.' Suggestion: 'when I'm reading or doing other activities, I like to have music playing'.