Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and give one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Fix verb forms (e.g., “depends,” “when I train at the gym”) and reduce repetition. Aim for 2–4 sentences and include a brief reason or example.

例: It depends on my mood. I usually listen to sad music when I want to relax and reflect, but I choose happy, energetic songs when I’m working out at the gym because upbeat rhythms help me keep my pace.

提案: Answer directly, use correct grammar and singular/plural forms, and avoid vague generalizations. Give a personal example with a linking phrase. Use correct pronouns and verb agreement (e.g., “it makes people excited” and “it motivates me”).

例: Yes, it does. Happy music often lifts my mood and gives me energy; for example, when I’m training at the gym I listen to upbeat songs because they motivate me to exercise harder.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and correct tense, and provide a concise reason with specific detail. Avoid unnecessary pauses and repetition. For example, say you haven't taken classes, explain why, and mention any self-study or future plans if relevant.

例: No, I haven’t taken formal music classes. When I was young I wanted to study music, but there was no music school in my city, so I learned a little on my own by watching online tutorials.

提案: Give a direct, well-structured response: state whether you listen to music, then explain when and why with clear examples. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “while working,” “headphones,” “classical” vs. artist names) and avoid confusing phrases. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working. As a software engineer I use headphones and prefer soothing vocalists like Céline Dion or soft instrumental tracks because they help me concentrate and reduce stress.

× Oh, this is good question.

✓ Oh, this is a good question.

Missing article 'a' before singular countable noun 'question'. Add 'a' to make it grammatically correct. Suggestion: remember to use articles with singular countable nouns (a/an/the).

× Uh, actually, uh, depend my mood.

✓ Uh, actually, it depends on my mood.

Incorrect verb form and missing subject and preposition. Use third-person singular 'depends' to agree with subject 'it' and include preposition 'on' after 'depends'. Suggestion: use 'it depends on...' to express dependence on conditions.

× Sometimes I prefer uh, sad music.

✓ Sometimes I prefer sad music.

Extra filler 'uh' removed; sentence otherwise correct. Keep concise and maintain present simple for habitual preference.

× Uh, sometimes I prefer happy music.

✓ Sometimes I prefer happy music.

Remove filler 'uh'; present simple is correct for habitual actions.

× Uh, depend my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

Same error as before: missing subject 'it', third-person singular verb 'depends', and preposition 'on'. Use complete clause 'It depends on my mood.'

× Uh, what I do, for example, uh, when I training in gym, I can't hear sad music.

✓ For example, when I am training at the gym, I can't listen to sad music.

Incorrect verb form 'training' needs auxiliary 'am' for present continuous. Preposition 'in' should be 'at the gym' and 'hear' is less appropriate than 'listen to' for music. Suggestion: use 'I am training at the gym' and 'listen to sad music'.

× Yes, of course. I think that uh, happy music, uh, make odd people or all human, uh, excited and happy.

✓ Yes, of course. I think that happy music makes ordinary people or all humans excited and happy.

Subject-verb agreement: 'music' is singular so verb should be 'makes' (third-person singular). 'Odd people' is incorrect word choice; likely 'ordinary people' or 'most people'. Use plural noun 'humans' instead of 'human'. Remove fillers. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and choose correct vocabulary.

× Uh, for example, when I, I training at gym, uh, I train at gym, uh, the music motivate him.

✓ For example, when I am training at the gym, the music motivates me.

Use auxiliary 'am' with present participle 'training'. Use 'at the gym' with article. Subject 'the music' requires third-person singular verb 'motivates'. Pronoun 'him' is wrong; should be 'me' to refer to the speaker. Suggestion: check verb forms and correct object pronouns.

× No, I don't have taken any music classes.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes.

Incorrect use of 'don't have taken'; present perfect requires 'have/has' + past participle. Use 'haven't taken' for negative present perfect. Suggestion: use 'have/has' with past participle to talk about experiences up to now.

× Uh, when I was, uh, young, uh, I want, I wanted this, uh, to take, uh, courses of, uh, music.

✓ When I was young, I wanted to take music courses.

Mixed tenses and extra fillers. Use simple past 'wanted' for past desire and 'to take music courses' as correct infinitive and noun order. Suggestion: keep tense consistent and remove fillers.

× But in my city we not have uh, School of Music or something like this.

✓ But in my city we do not have a School of Music or anything like that.

Incorrect word order 'we not have' should be 'we do not have'. Add article 'a' before 'School of Music' and use 'anything like that' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: use auxiliary 'do' for negatives in present simple and include articles.

× That's why I don't take.

✓ That's why I didn't take them.

Incorrect tense and missing object. Since referring to past courses, use past simple 'didn't take' and include object 'them' or 'the courses'. Suggestion: ensure tense matches context and include necessary objects.

× Usually in in work I listen to music when I hear codec so I like to know.

✓ Usually at work I listen to music when I write code, so I like it.

Preposition 'in' should be 'at work'. 'Hear codec' is incorrect; likely 'write code' or 'when I code'. 'So I like to know' is unclear; use 'so I like it' to refer to listening to music. Suggestion: choose correct verbs and prepositions and make pronoun references clear.

× I am software engineer so when I could take I use my headphone and listen and listen to some classic music like Céline Dion help me in work that's why.

✓ I am a software engineer, so when I can, I use my headphones and listen to some music like Céline Dion; it helps me at work.

Missing article 'a' before 'software engineer'. 'Could take' is incorrect; use 'can' for ability in general. 'Headphone' should be plural 'headphones'. 'Listen and listen to' is repetitive. 'Classic music' is probably 'music' or 'songs' by Céline Dion (not classical). Add pronoun 'it' for 'it helps me' and preposition 'at work'. Suggestion: use correct articles, plural nouns, modal verbs, and clear sentence structure.