Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and tense errors. For example, use present simple for habits and correct verbs (help -> helps, mitigate -> reduces).

例: I prefer happy music because it boosts my confidence and reduces my stress. For example, when I have free time I usually listen to upbeat songs to relax and feel more energetic.

提案: Answer directly, then add a specific example with linking words. Improve grammar and word choice (e.g., "release" -> "is released", "based on my life" unclear). Keep to 2–4 sentences total.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because the tempo and lyrics lift my mood. For instance, when a new upbeat song is released I immediately listen to it and often sing along because it matches my personality.

提案: Use correct tense and clearer reasons. Begin with a direct answer, then explain briefly using linking words like "because" and "when." Avoid repeating words and fix subject-verb agreement (parents are).

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes because I haven't had time to attend them. When I was a child my parents preferred academic tuition over music lessons, so I never had the opportunity.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and one specific effect of listening to music while doing tasks. Use correct tense and natural expressions (e.g., "helps me work calmly"). Avoid unclear phrases like "Cooking really my job so it I won't feel any."

例: Yes, I often listen to music while cooking because it helps me work calmly and enjoy the process. For example, upbeat songs make routine tasks like chopping and stirring more pleasant and faster.

× I do prefer happy music because it help me to improve my confidence level and it mitigate my stress level.

✓ I do prefer happy music because it helps me to improve my confidence level and it mitigates my stress level.

The subject 'it' refers to 'happy music' which is singular, so verbs must take the third person singular form by adding -s ('helps', 'mitigates'). Use consistent verb forms after auxiliary 'do' only for emphasis; here 'do prefer' is acceptable but main verbs describing effects need correct agreement.

× Whenever I get a free time, I used to hear happy music that really really for me.

✓ Whenever I get free time, I used to listen to happy music that really helps me.

'Get a free time' is incorrect; 'get free time' or 'have free time' is natural. 'Hear' is acceptable but 'listen to' is the correct collocation for actively enjoying music. The phrase 'really really for me' is ungrammatical; include a verb like 'helps' and avoid repeated 'really'. Also drop unnecessary article 'a' before 'free time'.

× Yes, happy music makes me more excited.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited.

The sentence is mostly correct but 'makes me more excited' is improved by adding 'feel' to express emotional state more naturally. This keeps present tense and correct subject-verb agreement.

× Whenever any new kind of music release in form of happy, I'm very curious to hear that kind of song because it's really based on my life.

✓ Whenever a new kind of music is released as happy music, I'm very curious to hear it because it relates to my life.

Passive voice with present simple 'is released' is required for 'release' when referring to new music coming out. 'In form of happy' is unnatural; use 'as happy music'. Replace 'that kind of song' with pronoun 'it' and 'really based on my life' with 'relates to my life' for clarity and correct grammar.

× I'm a kind of happy person.

✓ I'm the kind of person who is generally happy.

'A kind of happy person' is informal and vague. Rephrase to 'the kind of person who is generally happy' to use pronouns and noun phrases correctly and clearly express characteristic.

× No, I didn't take any music classes because I don't have any time to attend the music classes.

✓ No, I didn't take any music classes because I didn't have time to attend them.

Tense consistency: when referring to past decision, use past tense 'didn't have'. Avoid repeating 'music classes'; use pronoun 'them'. Also 'any time' is fine but 'time' without 'any' is more natural here.

× In my childhood, I used to go to tuition instead of going to tuition music classes because my parents is not supportive.

✓ In my childhood, I used to go to tuition classes instead of music classes because my parents were not supportive.

Subject-verb agreement: 'parents' is plural so use 'were' not 'is'. 'Tuition' alone is vague; 'tuition classes' is clearer. Maintain past tense 'were' to match 'used to'.

× Yes, I do listen to music when I'm cooking because it helped me to do my job perfectly and peacefully.

✓ Yes, I do listen to music when I'm cooking because it helps me do my work perfectly and peacefully.

Maintain present tense with 'helps' to match 'I do listen' and 'I'm cooking'. Use 'do my work' instead of 'do my job' for natural collocation. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps' when followed by bare infinitive.

× Cooking really my job so it I won't feel any.

✓ Cooking is really my thing, so I don't feel bored or stressed when I cook.

Original lacks verb ('Cooking really my job') and has unclear ending 'I won't feel any.' Add linking verb 'is' and clarify the object of 'feel' (bored or stressed). Use present simple 'don't feel' to match habitual context.