Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is natural and directly answers the question, but you can improve clarity and reduce redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Avoid repeating words (e.g., "music" twice) and keep within 3–4 sentences.

例: I don't have a fixed preference between sad and happy music. Instead, I care more about how well the melody, lyrics and harmony blend together, because a strong combination can make any song moving or enjoyable.

提案: Good specific example and clear cause-effect explanation. To improve, link the sentences smoothly with a connective and shorten slightly. Use one concise example and a concluding comment to make the response more coherent.

例: Not really, because when I'm very upset — for instance after a bad exam — cheerful music feels out of sync with my mood, so it doesn't lift me up.

提案: Answer is direct but contains unclear phrasing and repetition ("sightseeing", "year training", and "read read"). Use clear, appropriate vocabulary and one specific detail about what you learned. Keep it concise and correct word choice errors.

例: Yes. At university I took beginner-level music theory and sight-reading classes so that I could learn to read musical notation more fluently.

提案: Strong, logical response with good reasons. To improve, start with a direct topic sentence then add a brief linking phrase and one specific example of what you focus on when listening. Avoid overly long sentences.

例: No. I prefer to focus on music, because when I listen I concentrate on analyzing the melody, harmony and percussion, for example noting how the drum patterns support the chorus.

× I chose the amateur level sightseeing and year training classes when I was in university.

✓ I chose the amateur-level sightseeing and year-long training classes when I was at university.

The original sentence needs hyphenation for compound adjectives ('amateur-level', 'year-long') and the preposition 'in university' is less natural than 'at university' in this context. Also 'year training' should be 'year-long training' to convey duration. Suggestion: use hyphens for compound adjectives and 'at university' for location in English (China).

× I chose that class so that I could read read the music notes better.

✓ I chose that class so that I could read the music notes better.

The original contains a duplicated word 'read'. Remove the extra 'read'. Also note that 'music notes' is acceptable, though 'musical notation' is a more formal alternative. Suggestion: proofread to remove repeated words and consider using 'musical notation' for precision (English (China)).

× No, because for me, music is something I have to concentrate on so that I can better analyze and appreciate how the melodies, harmonies and the percussion are organized.

✓ No, because for me, music is something I have to concentrate on so that I can better analyze and appreciate how the melodies, harmonies and percussion are organized.

The phrase 'the percussion' is awkward with the coordinated noun list; removing 'the' before 'percussion' makes the list parallel: 'melodies, harmonies and percussion'. Maintain parallel structure in lists. Suggestion: keep parallel noun forms and avoid unnecessary articles in coordinated lists (English (China)).