Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations and repetition, and give one or two specific reasons or examples. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer different types of music depending on my mood. For example, I listen to sad songs when I want to relax and reflect, but I choose happy, upbeat music when I need energy or to lift my spirits.

提案: Start with a clear response to the question, then explain with a specific effect and an example. Avoid vague words and informal fillers; use linking words like "however" or "but" to contrast ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Not necessarily more excited, but happy music improves my mood and helps me feel more positive. For instance, listening to an upbeat playlist in the morning makes me more focused and ready for the day rather than hyperactive.

提案: Answer the question directly with a simple sentence, then give a concise reason or alternative (e.g., self-taught or casual interest). Avoid unclear phrases and hesitations; use linking words like "because" or "so" to clarify your reason.

例: No, I haven't taken formal music classes because I don't have a strong interest in learning an instrument. Instead, I enjoy listening to music and learning songs casually on my own.

提案: Keep the affirmative response and add one specific example of activities and explain briefly why it helps. Use linking words like "for example" or "which" to add clarity and avoid vague phrases like "part of my things."

例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying or cooking because it helps me concentrate and makes routine tasks more enjoyable. For example, instrumental tracks help me focus while I study, and pop music lifts my mood when I cook.

× I'm not saying like happy songs is my favorite and also my sad songs my favorite.

✓ I'm not saying happy songs are my favorite and my sad songs are my favorite either.

Subject 'happy songs' and 'sad songs' are plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. Also add 'either' to clarify the negative parallel. Improve by matching plural subjects with plural verbs and keeping parallel structure.

× I guess it's it's depends on my mood, right, Yeah.

✓ I guess it depends on my mood, right? Yeah.

After 'it' the verb should be 'depends' without an extra 'it's'. Remove the duplicated 'it's' and use 'depends' for subject-verb agreement. Also replace comma and capitalize appropriately and use a question mark for the tag 'right?'.

× It's not that excited and it's not that very joyful, but it makes days better.

✓ It's not that exciting and it's not very joyful, but it makes the day better.

Use the adjective 'exciting' to describe music (not 'excited', which describes people). 'That very' is awkward; use 'very'. 'Days better' should be 'the day better' or 'days better' with article context; 'the day' fits the idea of making a day better.

× I guess it's, I mean like there's a certain point that makes you feel better instead of being joyish and like jumping around, it just makes feels better.

✓ I guess I mean there is a certain quality that makes you feel better; instead of making you feel overly joyful and want to jump around, it simply makes you feel better.

Original has run-on structure, incorrect word 'joyish', and 'makes feels better' is ungrammatical. Rework sentence to clear clauses, replace 'joyish' with 'overly joyful' and correct verb phrase to 'makes you feel better'. Use a semicolon or conjunction to separate ideas.

× Uh, no, uh, it's not that. It's not that important and it's not my enthusiasm.

✓ Uh, no. It's not that important and it's not my enthusiasm.

Redundant 'it's not that' fragments create unclear meaning. Keep one clear sentence. 'It's not my enthusiasm' is awkward but grammatical; consider 'it's not something I'm enthusiastic about' for naturalness.

× It's just, you know, I just take it as hard.

✓ It's just, you know, I don't take it seriously.

'Take it as hard' is nonstandard. Use 'don't take it seriously' to convey lack of importance. Adjust auxiliary verb 'don't' for negation and verb 'take' with adverb 'seriously'.

× Yes, I do listen to music while I do other things.

✓ Yes, I listen to music while I do other things.

In simple present, auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary for affirmative statements. Use 'I listen' for natural speech. Keep 'do other things' for contrast.

× It's like part of my things and my hobby as well, so yeah.

✓ It's part of my routine and a hobby as well, so yes.

'Part of my things' is vague; use 'part of my routine'. Replace 'so yeah' with 'so yes' for formal clarity. Ensure parallel nouns 'part of my routine' and 'a hobby'.