Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, grammatical, and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (“I prefer sad music.”), then give one or two specific reasons with linking words (because, for example). Avoid repetition and correct tense/word forms (listening, sing → sink into).

例: I prefer sad music because it helps me connect emotionally with the song. For example, when I listen to a melancholic ballad, the lyrics and melody make me reflect on my own experiences, which feels cathartic.

提案: Answer directly and use correct vocabulary. Begin with a clear response (“No, happy music doesn’t make me more excited.”), then explain concisely with a reason and an example. Avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences.

例: No, happy music doesn’t usually make me more excited. I find upbeat songs cheerful but less emotionally engaging than sad songs, so they don’t provoke the same strong reactions.

提案: Be clear and grammatical. Start with a direct answer (Yes/No), then give a reason. Use correct collocations (take classes, music lessons, expensive) and avoid extra words. Provide a brief specific detail (which instrument or why not).

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because lessons are usually expensive. Although I enjoy listening to music and practicing on my own, I haven’t been willing to pay for formal lessons.

提案: Give a clear affirmative or negative, then explain briefly and use linking words (for example, because). Correct grammar (when I am doing, makes me more concentrated → helps me concentrate). Add a specific example with a complete sentence.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks because it helps me concentrate. For example, when I solve math problems, I usually play upbeat instrumental music because it keeps me focused without distracting me.

× I'll speak I would prefer sad music because when you listening to sad sad music, you will feel the emotion like the character in the music and then you you can have sing into the feeling very deeply and in addition generally.

✓ I would prefer sad music because when you listen to sad music, you feel the emotion like the characters in the music, and you can sink into the feeling very deeply.

The original sentence incorrectly mixes future tense and conditionals ('I'll speak I would prefer') and uses inappropriate modal forms. Use 'I would prefer' for a preference and simple present 'when you listen' to describe a general truth. 'Will feel' is unnecessary; use 'feel'. 'You can have sing into' is ungrammatical; use 'you can sink into'. Also remove filler words and repeated words for clarity. Suggestion: State preferences with 'I prefer' or 'I would prefer' and use simple present for habitual or general results (when + present, present). Use correct verbs ('listen', 'sink into') and plural agreement for 'characters' where applicable.

× I think happy movies like, uh, was not make me feel excited.

✓ I think happy music does not make me feel excited.

The sentence incorrectly uses past tense 'was' and wrong noun 'movies' instead of 'music'. For a general truth use simple present 'does not make'. Also use the correct subject-verb structure 'happy music does not make me'. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual feelings: 'X does not make me feel Y.'

× It is because, uh, actually in, in music world, I, I, I think happy music is not attractive, uh, than sad music, because normally when you feel happy, generally you need a.

✓ It is because, in the music world, I think happy music is less attractive than sad music, because when you feel happy you generally do not need it.

Incorrect or missing prepositions: use 'in the music world' (with article). Comparative structure was wrong: use 'less attractive than'. The original sentence ends abruptly; I supplied a plausible completion 'you generally do not need it.' Avoid filler words and repeated pronouns. Suggestion: Use 'in the X world' and standard comparative patterns 'less/more X than Y' and complete the clause to express meaning clearly.

× I love you taking any, uh, music classes because, uh, generally the music lesson, uh, always, uh, cause a premium price.

✓ I would like to take music classes, but generally music lessons are expensive.

Original uses wrong pronoun 'you' instead of 'to' and ungrammatical phrasing 'I love you taking any'. Use 'I would like to take' or 'I love taking'. Also 'music lesson always cause a premium price' has subject-verb agreement and vocabulary issues: use plural 'lessons are expensive'. Suggestion: Use correct infinitive 'to take' after verbs of desire and ensure subject-verb agreement; replace awkward expressions with 'are expensive'.

× Uh, also, uh, I love listening, listening to music, but no interest to pay for lesson.

✓ I also love listening to music, but I am not interested in paying for lessons.

Use present simple for like 'I love listening'. The second part lacks a subject and verb; use 'I am not interested in' and the gerund 'paying' and plural 'lessons'. Suggestion: Use 'interested in + -ing' to express lack of interest and plural 'lessons' when speaking generally.

× Yeah, of course, uh, I will listen to music when I doing another thing.

✓ Yeah, of course, I listen to music when I am doing other things.

Use simple present or present continuous consistently: 'I listen to music when I am doing other things' or 'I listen when I do other things'. Original misses auxiliary 'am' and uses singular 'another thing' awkwardly; use plural 'other things'. Suggestion: Use 'when I am doing' for concurrent actions or 'when I do' for habitual actions; include the auxiliary 'am' with '-ing' form.

× I in my opinion and listen to music and do another thing at the same time can make me more concentrated on do other thing.

✓ In my opinion, listening to music and doing another activity at the same time can help me concentrate more on the other task.

The original word order is confused and contains missing gerunds and articles. Use 'In my opinion' at the start, use gerunds 'listening' and 'doing', and correct infinitive 'concentrate' (not 'concentrated on do'). Also 'other thing' should be 'other task' or 'another thing'. Suggestion: Use clear subject and verb structure: 'Listening ... can help me concentrate' and use gerunds for activities.

× For example, when when I calculate some mathematics, I will listen to uh, happy.

✓ For example, when I am doing some mathematics, I listen to happy music.

Avoid duplicate 'when'. Use 'doing some mathematics' or 'working on math problems' and choose consistent tense: simple present for habitual actions 'I listen'. Also complete the object 'happy music' instead of just 'happy'. Suggestion: Use complete noun phrases and consistent tense for habitual examples.