Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, reduce redundancy, and follow a clear structure: start with a direct topic sentence stating preference, then give one or two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Correct verb forms and remove filler words.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and gives me energy for the day. However, I also appreciate sad music because its lyrics often feel more meaningful and can be comforting when I need to reflect.

提案: Make sentences grammatically correct, use clearer vocabulary and linking words, and avoid fillers. State a direct answer, then give a specific example of genres or elements (tempo, rhythm) that cause excitement.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because upbeat tracks with fast tempos and strong rhythms — for example, pop or hip-hop with big beats — boost my energy and motivation.

提案: Use correct tense and article usage, avoid repetition, and organize response: state current situation, then future intention with specific reasons and choices. Replace fillers and correct instrument names.

例: I haven't taken any formal music classes, although I love music. In the future I would like to learn classical guitar or piano because practicing songs helps me relax after work and improves concentration.

提案: Give a direct answer, then provide two specific examples of activities and explain how music helps using linking words. Fix grammar and remove repetition and fillers.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores, studying, or small tasks. It helps me stay motivated and focused because a steady rhythm keeps my energy up and makes mundane tasks more enjoyable.

× If I had to choose, I would probably choose happy music because it can makes me live up my mood, cheerful and give me energy energy for my day.

✓ If I had to choose, I would probably choose happy music because it can lift my mood, make me cheerful, and give me energy for my day.

Errors: 'can makes' mixes modal + third-person singular; after 'can' use base verb 'make'. 'live up my mood' is incorrect collocation; correct phrase is 'lift my mood'. Repetition 'energy energy' removed. Also maintain parallel structure by using base verbs 'lift', 'make', 'give'. Suggestion: After modal verbs use the base form; use common collocations like 'lift my mood'; keep verbs parallel in a list. Grammar problem type ID: 2 or 27 but choose one according to list.

× But sad music also important as well.

✓ But sad music is also important.

Missing verb 'is' (sentence without a verb / there-be type); 'also' and 'as well' are redundant together. Suggestion: Include the verb 'is' for complete sentence and avoid repeating the same adverbial phrase. Grammar problem type ID: 23

× Umm it's has a deep meaningful.

✓ Umm it has a deep meaning.

'it's has' combines contraction 'it is' with 'has' incorrectly; use 'it has' without contraction or 'it's' with an adjective. 'deep meaningful' is wrong word form; 'meaningful' is adjective, 'meaning' is noun. Suggestion: Use correct subject-verb form 'it has' and correct noun 'meaning'. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Probably yes, happy music makes me feel way more energetic than usual, especially upbeat track or like umm hip hop or uh music that would a huge beats.

✓ Probably yes, happy music makes me feel much more energetic than usual, especially upbeat tracks like hip hop or music with a strong beat.

Issues: 'way' informal but acceptable; replaced with 'much'. 'upbeat track' should be plural 'tracks' to agree with general reference (singular/plural issue). 'that would a huge beats' is ungrammatical: incorrect verb and plural mismatch; corrected to 'music with a strong beat'. Suggestion: Use plural for general categories, ensure verbs are present and make sense, and use correct noun phrases like 'a strong beat'. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× It made me feel excited happy up my.

✓ It made me feel excited and happy.

Original has incorrect word order and extra word 'up my' which is nonsensical. Removed extraneous words and connected adjectives with 'and'. Suggestion: Keep adjective order logical and avoid stray words. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× Even though I am a music lover, I have never taken any music class but if I had a chance in the future, I would like to take one music class.

✓ Even though I am a music lover, I have never taken any music classes, but if I had the chance in the future, I would like to take a music class.

Errors: 'any music class' is better as plural 'any music classes' when speaking generally (quantifier/article issue). 'one music class' is awkward; use 'a music class'. 'the chance' is standard collocation. Suggestion: Use plural for unspecified countable nouns when appropriate and use 'the chance' for a specific opportunity. Grammar problem type ID: 14

× It can be umm classical guitar class or piano class or violent class because I enjoy learning songs and it will help me relax after school or work.

✓ It could be a classical guitar class, a piano class, or a violin class because I enjoy learning songs and it would help me relax after school or work.

'can be' fine but 'could be' fits conditional better; added articles before each class. 'violent' is a misspelling of 'violin'. 'will' changed to 'would' to match hypothetical conditional. Suggestion: Use correct spelling 'violin', include articles 'a', and keep tense consistent in conditional statements. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× Yes, I enjoy listening to music while doing other work such as house tour, even studying or even small tasks.

✓ Yes, I enjoy listening to music while doing other tasks such as housework, studying, or small chores.

Problems: 'house tour' is wrong phrase; 'housework' or 'house chores' fits. Repeated 'even' is redundant. 'other work' vague; 'other tasks' clearer. Suggestion: Use appropriate nouns 'housework' and 'chores' and avoid repetition. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× I prefer listening while doing it.

✓ I prefer listening while I do those tasks.

'doing it' is vague and mismatches plural 'tasks'; clarified to 'those tasks' and included subject 'I' for clarity. Suggestion: Match pronouns and verb agreement to the referenced noun (singular/plural) and include subject when needed. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× It make me feel motivated and it's also give me the energy to do all of the thing and uh my focus are better than usual.

✓ It makes me feel motivated, and it also gives me the energy to do all of the things, and my focus is better than usual.

Errors: 'make' should be 'makes' to agree with singular subject 'it' (third person singular). 'it's also give' should be 'it also gives'. 'thing' should be plural 'things' for general reference. 'my focus are' should be 'my focus is' (subject-verb agreement). Suggestion: Ensure verbs agree with their subjects, use plural when referring generally, and keep consistent verb forms. Grammar problem type ID: 27