Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar (verb forms, subject-verb agreement) and simplify sentences. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid redundancy (energy/motivation and concentrate overlap).

例: I prefer happy music because it gives me energy and helps me concentrate. For example, upbeat songs boost my motivation before presentations, so I feel more confident and focused.

提案: Correct grammar (plural/singular verbs, articles, word order) and avoid extra fillers like 'like' or repeated phrases. Use one clear effect and a specific example connected with linking words (e.g., 'for example' or 'so').

例: Yes. Happy music plays an important role in my daily routine. For example, when I wake up I listen to upbeat songs that lift my mood and boost my energy, so I can start the day feeling positive and productive.

提案: Make the response concise and correct tense/structure. Use one or two clear reasons with correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., 'develop' not 'develops' for plural or rephrase). Avoid redundant 'also' and informal phrases like 'positive vibes'.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes, but I would like to in the future if I have time. I believe formal lessons would improve my technical skills and help me perform more confidently.

提案: Use formal register (avoid 'yeah', 'like grateful') and correct grammar (verb forms, articles, word order). Make one clear topic sentence followed by a specific reason and example using linking words (e.g., 'because'/'so'). Clarify ideas (e.g., 'blocks distracting noise').

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working because I do long shifts and it helps me focus. For example, instrumental playlists block distracting background noise, so I can concentrate better and feel less stressed.

× I prefer happy music because it's give me energy and motivation when I have to do well, and it's also help me to concentrate when I'm focusing on my teamwork.

✓ I prefer happy music because it gives me energy and motivation when I have to do well, and it also helps me to concentrate when I'm focusing on my teamwork.

Errors: subject-verb agreement and incorrect contraction usage. 'It's give' and 'it's also help' are incorrect because the subject it (or it as contraction of it is) requires third person singular verbs 'gives' and 'helps'. Use 'it gives'/'it also helps' or keep contraction with correct verb: 'it gives' is standard. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with their subjects; for third person singular (he/she/it) add -s in present simple.

× Yes, happy music play a very important role in my life.

✓ Yes, happy music plays a very important role in my life.

Error: subject-verb agreement. 'Happy music' is treated as a singular concept, so the verb requires third person singular form 'plays'. Suggestion: when the subject is singular or a singular collective concept, use verb ending -s in present simple.

× Like for example when I wake up in morning it I listen to uplifting music which lift my mood and boost my energy so I can work very whole day without any stress.

✓ For example, when I wake up in the morning I listen to uplifting music which lifts my mood and boosts my energy so I can work the whole day without any stress.

Multiple issues: article usage ('in morning' should be 'in the morning'), extra words and word order ('it I' is redundant), subject-verb agreement ('lift'/'boost' need -s for singular subject 'music'), and awkward phrase 'very whole day' should be 'the whole day'. Suggestion: include correct articles ('the morning', 'the whole day'), remove redundant words, and ensure verbs agree with their subjects.

× I have not taken any music classes but in future if I have time I would definitely join a music course.

✓ I have not taken any music classes, but in the future if I have time I will definitely join a music course.

Issue: incorrect conditional/modal choice for a likely future event. Use 'will' for a real future intention rather than 'would' which implies conditionality or less certainty. Also add article 'the' before 'future'. Suggestion: use 'will' for decisions or intentions about the future when condition is realistic ('if I have time, I will...').

× I think it's a very wonderful thing and it's a because it's also develops our technical skills and also give a positive vibes.

✓ I think it's a wonderful thing because it also develops our technical skills and also gives positive vibes.

Errors: unnecessary article 'a' before 'very wonderful thing'; redundant 'it's a because'; subject-verb agreement ('it also develops' and 'gives' require -s); 'a positive vibes' mixes article with plural noun (should be 'positive vibes' or 'a positive vibe'). Suggestion: remove extra words, ensure verb agreement, and match articles to noun number.

× Yeah, because music play very important role in my life because I have to do long hours shifts in my work.

✓ Yeah, because music plays a very important role in my life because I have to work long shifts.

Errors: subject-verb agreement ('music plays'), awkward phrase 'long hours shifts' should be 'long shifts' or 'long hours of shifts', and redundant 'in my work' better as 'at work' or 'in my job'. Suggestion: use 'music plays' and simplify to 'work long shifts' or 'work long hours'.

× So it's really like grateful for me.

✓ So I'm really grateful.

Errors: incorrect subject and verb ('it's really like grateful for me' is ungrammatical). Use 'I'm really grateful' or 'That makes me really grateful'. Suggestion: use appropriate subject pronoun and adjective 'grateful' with a correct copula: 'I am grateful'.

× I really enjoying when I'm doing work and also I've really concentrated on my work because it's blockage all me all around sounds which give me a stress, so it.

✓ I really enjoy working and I'm able to concentrate on my work because it blocks all the surrounding sounds which relieve my stress.

Multiple issues: 'I really enjoying' should be present simple 'I really enjoy' or 'I really enjoy working' (verb form error, see verb + -ing rules), 'I've really concentrated' is incorrect here for ongoing ability—use 'I'm able to concentrate' or 'I can concentrate', 'it's blockage all me all around sounds' incorrect noun/verb forms and word order—use 'it blocks all the surrounding sounds', and 'which give me a stress' should be 'which relieve my stress' or 'which reduces my stress'. Suggestion: use correct verb forms (enjoy + -ing for activity as noun, or enjoy + verb-ing), correct verb agreement and clearer phrasing: 'it blocks surrounding sounds, which reduces my stress'.