Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your response is clear and relevant with good vocabulary (energetic, motivated, fast tempo). To improve, make the structure slightly more natural by using a stronger topic sentence, linking words, and a concrete example. Also avoid minor redundancy (e.g., ‘fast tempo songs’ and ‘when I'm walking or doing exercise’ could be combined more smoothly).

例: I prefer happy music because it makes me feel more energetic and motivated. For example, when I go for a run I usually play upbeat pop songs with a fast tempo because they help me keep a steady pace and stay focused.

提案: Your answer shows the idea but is disfluent and fragmented. To improve: give a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), use linking words, and complete your sentences. Add a specific reason or short example to support your claim.

例: Yes, definitely. Happy music makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythm and fast tempo raise my energy levels. For instance, a lively chorus often motivates me to dance or move more enthusiastically.

提案: Good concise answer with relevant details (duration, type of class, genres). To improve, slightly expand with a linking phrase and mention one skill you gained to make it more informative and natural.

例: Yes, I have. In high school I attended vocal training classes for about two years, where I learned pop and K-pop songs. As a result, I improved my breath control and stage confidence.

提案: Clear content and useful contrast between activities and music types. Improve by correcting a small word choice error (“starting” → “studying” or “walking”), using linking words for coherence, and providing a brief example to be more specific.

例: Yes, I do. I often listen to music while exercising or walking. For example, I choose relaxing instrumental tracks when I study to concentrate, but switch to upbeat pop when I go for a walk to feel more energetic.

× Yes, definitely happy music makes me feel more excited a bit.

✓ Yes, definitely, happy music makes me feel a bit more excited.

Adverb placement (ID 20): 'definitely' and 'a bit' must be placed where they clearly modify the clause or adjective. Place 'definitely' after the interjection and add commas; place 'a bit' before 'more excited' to modify the degree. This improves clarity and natural word order.

× Rhythm and uh, fast tempo lift me and. Energizing me. So I often.

✓ The rhythm and fast tempo lift my spirits and energize me, so I often choose such music.

Sentence structure errors (ID 26): The original is a series of sentence fragments and lacks grammatical verbs and objects. Combine clauses into a complete sentence with subject and verbs ('lift' and 'energize') and a clear result clause ('so I often choose such music') to make it coherent and grammatically correct.

× Yes I have. When I was in high school I attended vocal training classes for about two years where I learned pop and K pop songs.

✓ Yes, I have. When I was in high school, I attended vocal training classes for about two years where I learned pop and K-pop songs.

Article and punctuation issues (ID 22): Add commas after introductory elements for natural flow. Also use hyphenation in 'K-pop' as the conventional form. These are minor orthographic/article-like corrections to match standard usage.

× I often listen to music while starting or exercising.

✓ I often listen to music while studying or exercising.

Incorrect use of prepositions / word choice (ID 11): 'starting' is incorrect or unclear in this context; likely intended 'studying'. Use 'while studying or exercising' to indicate concurrent activities. 'While' correctly introduces simultaneous actions.