Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Clarify your main point with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar, and specific reasons. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences). Use linking words (for example, because, so, which) and correct vocabulary (e.g., "sad" not unclear words). Mention a specific example of a song or artist and explain why it helps you.

例: I prefer sad music because it helps me process difficult emotions from my teenage years. For example, when I had problems with friends, listening to Adele’s songs made me feel understood and calm. Because the lyrics are emotional and the melodies are slow, they help me reflect and relax.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence answering the question, then give contrasting situations with linking words (however, but, when). Correct word choice (e.g., "classical" instead of "common" when you mean non-lyrical music) and grammar ("reduce my concentration"). Provide a brief specific example of a song or situation.

例: Yes, it depends on the situation. For example, at a party happy pop songs make me feel energetic and want to dance, but when I'm studying for an important exam I prefer instrumental or classical music because lyrics can distract me and reduce my concentration.

提案: Give a clear opening sentence about your experience, then add two specific details: which instruments you learned and one skill from the classes. Avoid vague words and correct phrasing. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, and, also).

例: Yes, I have taken music classes in elementary and junior high school. I learned to play the piano and basic guitar, and I also practiced singing techniques to convey emotions in songs. These lessons improved my rhythm and confidence when performing.

提案: Good response: clear and specific. To improve further, vary vocabulary and add a brief mention of when you avoid music and why (showing range). Use one linking phrase to make it smoother (for example, "for instance" or "however").

例: Yes, I usually listen to music on my commute to school because upbeat songs keep me motivated and energetic. For instance, I often choose happy pop or energetic electronic tracks to start the day on a positive note. However, I avoid music when I need to concentrate on reading or studying.

× I pay for hot or moon colleague music because ever since my teenage years I often felt down when I had a problems with friends or family and that kind of music helps soo soothed me.

✓ I prefer sad or melancholic music because ever since my teenage years I have often felt down when I had problems with friends or family, and that kind of music soothes me.

Errors include wrong vocabulary ('pay for', 'hot or moon colleague', 'soo soothed'), incorrect article use ('a problems'), tense inconsistency ('often felt' with 'since' should use present perfect), and awkward structure. Use 'prefer' not 'pay for', 'melancholic' fits 'sad' meaning, remove unnecessary article before 'problems', change 'I often felt' to 'I have often felt' to match 'ever since', and use present simple 'soothes' for habitual effect. Improve by choosing appropriate words, checking verb tenses with time expressions like 'since', and ensuring subject-verb agreement.

× It slowly raised an emotional lyrics make me feel under certain.

✓ It slowly raises emotional lyrics that make me feel a certain way.

Original has wrong verb tense ('raised' past instead of habitual present 'raises'), missing relative clause connector and incorrect phrase 'make me feel under certain'. Use 'that' to link 'lyrics' and 'make', and 'a certain way' to express vague feeling. Suggest using present simple for general truths and correct noun phrases.

× I think it depends on the situation. At the party or be it happy songs usually make me feel more excited and energetic.

✓ I think it depends on the situation. At a party or when it's a happy song, music usually makes me feel more excited and energetic.

Errors: missing article 'a party', incorrect phrase 'be it happy songs', and subject-verb agreement ('songs usually make' -> 'music usually makes' or keep 'songs usually make'). Rewriting to 'when it's a happy song' clarifies meaning. Ensure correct articles and clear clause connectors.

× But when I'm studying for an important exam, I prefer common music because likely music can be distracting and reduce my concentrations.

✓ But when I'm studying for an important exam, I prefer calm music because loud music can be distracting and reduce my concentration.

Several errors: 'common music' is inappropriate — use 'calm music'; 'likely music can be' is awkward — specify 'loud music can be'; 'concentrations' should be uncountable 'concentration'. Also 'prefer calm music' matches context. Use accurate adjectives and correct noun number.

× I have. I had a similar class in the elementary school and junior high school, so I learned how to play the piano or other instruments, but also how to sing a song emotionally for the specific SHO songs.

✓ I have. I took similar classes in elementary and junior high school, so I learned how to play the piano and other instruments, and how to sing songs with emotion for specific styles.

Problems: 'had a similar class' is awkward; use 'took similar classes'. 'the elementary school' unnecessary 'the'; plural 'classes' fits multiple levels. 'or other instruments' -> 'and other instruments'. 'sing a song emotionally for the specific SHO songs' is unclear and 'SHO' unknown; change to 'sing songs with emotion for specific styles'. Use past simple 'took' and 'learned' for completed past events.

× I usually listen to music when I go to school. I prefer upbeat, uplifting songs because they keep me motivated and help me feel energetic during my commute.

✓ I usually listen to music when I go to school. I prefer upbeat, uplifting songs because they keep me motivated and help me feel energetic during my commute.

This sentence is correct grammatically. No correction needed. Keep present simple for habitual actions and plural 'songs' with plural verbs.

× For example, I often choose happy pop tracks or energetic electronic music to start the day on a positive note.

✓ For example, I often choose happy pop tracks or energetic electronic music to start the day on a positive note.

This sentence is correct. Prepositions and structure are appropriate for the intended meaning; no change required.