Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference (or lack of one), then give one or two specific reasons using clearer vocabulary and fewer fillers. Use linking words (for example, “however” or “also”) to connect ideas. Aim for natural phrasing and avoid repetition.

例: I don’t have a strong preference — I enjoy both sad and happy music. For example, happy songs boost my energy and help me focus, while sad songs can be comforting and help me process emotions. Therefore I listen to different types depending on my mood.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating previous statements. Use a clear topic sentence (Yes/No/It depends) and support it with a specific reason or short example. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, avoid mixed phrases).

例: It depends on the song. Upbeat music often makes me feel more energetic and motivated, for instance when I’m exercising, but sometimes I prefer mellow tunes even if they are happy because they help me concentrate.

提案: Provide a concise, well-structured response: state that you took classes, give two specific details (what you learned and the instrument), and use correct tense and fewer hesitations. Use linking words like “for example” or “also” to organize details.

例: Yes, I took mandatory music classes in elementary school. In those lessons I learned basic music notation and how to play the recorder, a simple flute-like instrument. For example, I practised simple melodies and learned how to read sheet music.

提案: Answer clearly and include specific activities and purposes. Use correct verb tenses and fewer fillers. Structure: topic sentence, one or two supporting reasons or examples, and a linking word to show continuity (e.g., “also” or “for this reason”).

例: Yes, I often listen to music while commuting on the train or bus to relax and pass the time. I also use music to relieve stress and concentrate when I’m studying or facing a heavy workload, so it’s become a regular part of my routine.

× I like all kind of music.

✓ I like all kinds of music.

The noun 'kind' requires plural form 'kinds' after 'all' when referring to multiple types. Use 'all kinds of' to indicate variety; alternatively 'all kinds of music' or 'every kind of music'. Suggestion: say 'I like all kinds of music.' or 'I like every kind of music.'

× listening to both sad and happy music, uh, can stimulate different nerves in my mind and makes me umm umm feel better in some way or another.

✓ listening to both sad and happy music can stimulate different nerves in my mind and make me feel better in some way or another.

When using a compound verb with 'can', the base form of the verb should follow: 'can stimulate' and 'make' (not 'makes'). Also omit filler words for clarity. Suggestion: use parallel base verbs after modal verbs and remove unnecessary fillers.

× As I said in my previous question, I like her of kind of music.

✓ As I said in my previous answer, I like every kind of music.

The original contains incorrect pronoun 'her' and awkward phrase 'of kind of'. 'Answer' is better than 'question' here. Use 'every kind of music' or 'all kinds of music'. Suggestion: replace with 'As I said in my previous answer, I like every kind of music.'

× So uh, listening to happy music does not make necessarily make me feel happier and decide to sad music does not uh, make me feel uh, less happy as well.

✓ So, listening to happy music does not necessarily make me feel happier, and sad music does not make me feel less happy either.

There is redundant 'make' and misordered adverb 'necessarily'. Remove extra words and place adverbs correctly: 'does not necessarily make'. Also 'decide to sad music' is incorrect; replace with 'sad music'. Use 'either' instead of 'as well' for negative clauses. Suggestion: simplify sentence and correct adverb placement.

× So different music have their pros and cons.

✓ So different kinds of music have their pros and cons.

'Music' as an uncountable noun takes singular verb, but here plural sense requires 'kinds of music' to agree with plural verb 'have'. Add 'kinds of' to indicate multiple types. Suggestion: 'Different kinds of music have their pros and cons.'

× Yes, like uh, all umm, students who umm were educated in my country, we were required to take umm music classes and in elementary school.

✓ Yes, like all students educated in my country, we were required to take music classes in elementary school.

Original sentence has redundant subjects and misplaced 'and in elementary school'. Remove filler words and the repeated subject 'we' to avoid run-on. Place 'in elementary school' at the end for clarity. Suggestion: streamline sentence and remove fillers.

× So I uh, took up uh.

✓ So I took them up.

Original fragment lacks an object after 'took up'. Specify what was taken up ('them' referring to music classes) or say 'So I took up music classes.' Suggestion: complete the thought: 'So I took up music classes.'

× So in my music classes I learnt the basic music notations and learn to play a music instrument called the recorder, also known as a flute.

✓ So in my music classes I learnt the basic music notation and learned to play a musical instrument called the recorder, also known as a flute.

Mix of past and present tense: 'learnt' and 'learn' should both be past ('learned' or 'learnt'). Use 'music notation' (uncountable) and 'musical instrument' (adjective form). Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use correct noun/adjective forms.

× I always listen to music when I'm commuting to work on the train or on the bus.

✓ I always listen to music when I'm commuting to work by train or by bus.

Use 'by train' or 'on the train' is acceptable but pair consistently: 'commuting by train or by bus' is more natural. Alternatively 'on the train or on the bus' also works; choose one format. Suggestion: 'commuting to work by train or by bus.'

× Furthermore, uh, when I was a student, I always use music to, uh, help me relieve my stress when I'm a studying for the final examinations, umm, and I bring this practice over to work.

✓ Furthermore, when I was a student, I always used music to help relieve my stress when I was studying for the final examinations, and I have carried this practice into my work.

Tense inconsistency: 'when I was a student' requires past tense 'used' and 'was studying'. 'I bring this practice over to work' should be present perfect 'I have carried this practice into my work' to show continuation. Remove fillers. Suggestion: maintain past tense for past habits and use present perfect to show continuation.

× So when I'm stressed with work, I will also listen to music.

✓ So when I'm stressed at work, I also listen to music.

Use simple present 'I also listen' for habitual actions; 'will' suggests future and is unnecessary. Use preposition 'at work' rather than 'with work'. Suggestion: use 'I also listen to music when I'm stressed at work.'