Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “I prefer sad music.”), then give one or two specific reasons with correct vocabulary and a linking word. Avoid contradictions (you said ‘sad’ but ended ‘salsa’) and reduce repetition. Aim for 2–3 sentences, use words like ‘relaxing’ and give a concrete example (a song or artist).

例: I prefer sad music because I find it relaxing and it helps me concentrate. For example, slow piano ballads by artists like Yiruma allow me to think clearly and feel calmer, so I often choose that kind of music when I want to focus.

提案: Be more fluent and avoid fillers/repetition. Start with a direct answer (“Yes, it does”), then give a brief specific reason and an example using a linking word like ‘for example’ or ‘especially’. Keep it to 2 sentences and correct small grammatical points (e.g., ‘school festivals’).

例: Yes, it does. For example, at school festivals or concerts I play upbeat pop songs because their fast tempo and cheerful lyrics make me feel more energetic and excited.

提案: Give a clear direct response and use correct grammar. Start with a topic sentence (“No, I haven’t” or “I don’t take music classes”), then briefly explain why with specific detail and a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases and correct sentence structure (e.g., ‘Japanese music classes require singing’).

例: No, I haven’t taken music classes because I’m not confident about singing. In most Japanese music classes we have to sing along, so I prefer not to join those lessons.

提案: Answer directly and remove hesitation. Start with “Yes” and give two specific situations and one clear benefit, using linking words like ‘for example’ and ‘also’. Finish the sentence meaningfully (e.g., ‘it helps me concentrate’). Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid trailing off.

例: Yes, I do. For example, I listen to music while commuting to school and when I study alone because soft instrumental tracks help me concentrate and stay motivated.

× Actually I prefer sad music because sad MU music makes me like relax and I can think about many things and I can focus on the music.

✓ Actually, I prefer sad music because sad music helps me relax, lets me think about many things, and helps me focus on the music.

The sentence misuses 'like' before 'relax' and repeats words ('MU'). 'Like' is unnecessary; use the verb 'relax' or the phrase 'helps me relax'. Also use parallel verbs ('helps', 'lets', 'helps') for consistency and clarity. Remove the extra 'MU' which appears to be a typographical error.

× That's why I prefer salsa song.

✓ That's why I prefer salsa songs.

The singular 'song' is odd when referring to a genre preference; use the plural 'songs' to indicate the general category. This fixes the adjective/noun usage and aligns with common collocation 'prefer salsa music' or 'prefer salsa songs'.

× In my opinion I would say yes because when I have a special event such as concerts or like school festival I I listen to the happy music because it makes me more excited.

✓ In my opinion, I would say yes, because for special events such as concerts or school festivals I listen to happy music since it makes me more excited.

Tense is generally present but repetition 'I I' and articles are incorrect. Use plural 'concerts' and 'school festivals' and remove 'the' before 'happy music' when speaking generally. Use 'since' or 'because' and keep present simple for habitual actions.

× Actually I'm not, I'm not good at like singing music, singing songs.

✓ Actually, I'm not; I'm not good at singing songs.

The phrase 'like singing music' is incorrect. Use 'good at singing' or 'good at singing songs'. Remove 'like' which is informal filler, and avoid repetition of 'I'm not' unnecessarily; a semicolon or conjunction improves flow.

× So in most Japanese music class is we have to sing along.

✓ So in most Japanese music classes, we have to sing along.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and article/number agreement. Use plural 'classes' and correct word order 'in most Japanese music classes, we have to...' The copula 'is' is unnecessary and should be removed.

× So that's why I don't take.

✓ So that's why I don't take them.

The verb 'take' needs an object. Use 'them' to refer back to 'music classes'. This completes the sentence and keeps present simple tense for habitual action.

× I, yes, I do when I, uh, go to the go to school and even when I, I, when I study alone, I listen to music because I can focus on the study and, uh, it makes me more.

✓ Yes, I do. I listen to music when I go to school and even when I study alone because it helps me focus on my studies and makes me feel better.

This sentence had hesitations and repetitions. Clean it by using clear clauses in present simple: 'I listen to music when I go to school' and 'when I study alone'. Use 'helps me focus on my studies' instead of 'focus on the study' and complete 'makes me feel better' instead of 'it makes me more' which is incomplete.