Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và trật tự câu, tránh lặp ý và dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng. Nên trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích cụ thể bằng 1–2 câu bổ trợ, dùng liên từ để mạch lạc và sửa lỗi như 'Of course it’s happy music', 'I’m an introvert' và 'I want everything to be happy'.

例: I prefer happy music. As an introvert I enjoy listening to upbeat songs because they lift my mood and help me share positive energy with others.

提案: Sửa cấu trúc câu để rõ ràng và tránh mâu thuẫn (excited vs relaxed). Nên nêu chủ đề rồi giải thích bằng lí do cụ thể; dùng liên từ như 'because' hoặc 'so' và tránh từ thừa như 'really' nhiều lần.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and catchy melodies increase my energy. At the same time, familiar happy songs also help me feel relaxed and comfortable.

提案: Chú ý thì động từ (have taken / took), sắp xếp ý rõ ràng: trả lời trực tiếp, cho thời điểm và lí do ngắn gọn. Tránh từ lặp như 'like' không cần thiết. Nên nói 'I took music classes in secondary school' và giải thích vì sao không thích hoặc gì đã học.

例: Yes, I took music classes in secondary school because it was a compulsory subject. However, I didn't enjoy it much because the lessons were quite theory-based and not very engaging.

提案: Cải thiện rõ ràng câu trả lời: trả lời trực tiếp, cung cấp lí do cụ thể và tránh câu hỏi phản bác rối rắm. Sửa ngữ pháp (it makes me forget), và trình bày tối đa 2–3 câu mạch lạc với liên từ như 'so' hoặc 'because'.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks because it helps me focus and makes boring chores more enjoyable. It usually makes me feel more relaxed rather than tired.

× Of course is happy music.

✓ Of course, I prefer happy music.

The original lacks a subject and uses 'is' incorrectly. Add the subject 'I' and the verb 'prefer' to express choice. Also add a comma after 'Of course' for natural phrasing.

× Actually I'm an introvert person, but I really enjoy my life and I want to bring happiness to other people.

✓ Actually, I'm an introvert, but I really enjoy my life and I want to bring happiness to other people.

The phrase 'introvert person' is awkward; use the noun 'introvert' or the adjective 'introverted'. Add a comma after 'Actually' for natural pacing.

× Also, I want everything come to me, uh, happy.

✓ Also, I want everything to come to me happily.

Missing 'to' before the infinitive 'come' and 'happy' should be an adverb 'happily' to modify the verb. Rearranged for grammatical word order.

× Of course, yes, I always feel excited when hearing happy music because it's really both my mood and I feel really relaxed.

✓ Of course. I always feel excited when I hear happy music because it matches my mood and makes me feel relaxed.

Use simple present 'hear' instead of the -ing form 'hearing' in this habitual context. 'It's really both my mood' is unclear; 'matches my mood' is idiomatic. Change 'I feel really relaxed' to 'makes me feel relaxed' to show cause-effect.

× Umm yes I have take music class when I was in secondary school but like we must learn that subject at school but I don't really enjoy it.

✓ Umm yes, I took music classes when I was in secondary school, but we had to study that subject at school and I didn't really enjoy it.

Use past simple 'took' not 'have take'. 'Music class' should be plural 'music classes' if general; 'must learn' is incorrect for past obligation—use 'had to study'. 'Don't really enjoy' should be past 'didn't really enjoy' to match past timeframe.

× Yes I always do that because it make me forgot what I'm doing like it's make me feel.

✓ Yes, I always do that because it makes me forget what I'm doing; it makes me feel relaxed rather than tired.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it makes' not 'it make'. Use 'forget' (base form) after 'makes'. Complete the second clause with 'makes me feel relaxed rather than tired' for clarity and correct contrast.

× Don't it make me feel relaxed instead of tired?

✓ Doesn't it make me feel relaxed instead of tired?

Question formation requires auxiliary 'does' for third-person singular: 'Doesn't it...' rather than 'Don't it...'. Also use contraction 'doesn't' or full 'does not' for formality.