Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid hesitation sounds (e.g., "uh"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two brief specific reasons with an example. Keep answers under five sentences and use linking words (for example, because, so) to improve coherence.

例: I prefer happy music because upbeat songs lift my spirits and boost my energy. For example, catchy pop songs with motivational lyrics help me feel more positive when I’m tired or stressed, so I often play them during my commute.

提案: Avoid repetition and finish your ideas. Use a clear present-tense statement, then give a specific short example. Remove fillers like "uh" and correct grammar (e.g., "it always" not "it did it always").

例: Yes, happy music always cheers me up and increases my energy. For example, when I feel down after a long day, I put on an upbeat playlist and within a few minutes I feel more motivated and ready to work.

提案: Good structure and relevant details. To improve, avoid repeating words ("learned" twice) and add one specific detail about what you learned or a short result (e.g., a song you can play). Use a linking word to connect cause and effect.

例: Yes, I took guitar classes at a local music institute in high school because I wanted to learn to play. There I learned basic chords and strumming techniques, and as a result I can now play several songs which turned guitar playing into a lasting hobby.

提案: Clarify and correct unclear phrases (e.g., "HO," "house course"). Use two contrasting examples with linking words (for example, while/whereas) and keep sentences grammatically consistent. Be specific about the types of music and tasks.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working or doing chores. For focused tasks at the office, I listen to calm, instrumental music because it helps me concentrate, whereas at home I play upbeat pop songs while doing housework to keep my energy up.

× I usually prefer happy music because upbeat songs can lift my spirits and cheer up my mood when I feel sad and low.

✓ I usually prefer happy music because upbeat songs lift my spirits and cheer up my mood when I feel sad and low.

The original sentence uses 'can lift' which is grammatically correct but inconsistent with the general present habitual context. Using the simple present 'lift' matches the habitual action described by 'usually' and sounds more natural. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual/general truths.

× The songs that have catchy rhythms and motivational lyrics are at the top of my, uh, list.

✓ Songs that have catchy rhythms and motivational lyrics are at the top of my list.

The phrase 'at the top of my, uh, list' contains an unnecessary filler and an incorrect article use before 'list'. Removing the filler and the definite article before 'list' (or keeping 'my list' without additional article) makes the sentence natural. Suggestion: avoid fillers and use 'my list' without extra articles.

× I always love to listen to them when I need to boost my energy.

✓ I always love listening to them when I need to boost my energy.

Both 'love to listen' and 'love listening' are grammatical, but in continuous/habitual contexts, the gerund 'listening' is more natural after 'love'. Suggestion: prefer 'love listening' for fluidity.

× Yes, it did it always uh, cheer up my mood and boost my energy.

✓ Yes, it always cheers up my mood and boosts my energy.

The original mixes past auxiliary 'did' with present meaning and has incorrect word order. The question asked present effect, so use simple present 'cheers' and 'boosts' with third-person singular subject 'it'. Suggestion: remove 'did' and use present tense verbs that agree with the subject.

× I always love to listen to happy music when I need to uplift my mood and stay focus.

✓ I always love listening to happy music when I need to uplift my mood and stay focused.

The adjective 'focused' is required to modify the subject's state, not the verb 'stay'. 'Focus' is a noun/verb; the correct adjective is 'focused'. Also gerund form 'listening' is preferred. Suggestion: use 'stay focused'.

× As an example, when I feel sad, I go for a.

✓ As an example, when I feel sad, I go for a walk/listen to music/watch a movie.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks the object after 'go for a'. The speaker likely intended to mention an activity. Suggestion: complete the sentence by providing the missing noun or verb phrase, e.g. 'go for a walk' or 'go for music that cheers me up'.

× Yes, I took music classes as a high school kid because I wanted to learn how to play guitar.

✓ Yes, I took music classes when I was in high school because I wanted to learn how to play the guitar.

'As a high school kid' is informal; 'when I was in high school' is clearer. Also 'play guitar' usually takes the definite article 'the' in this context. Tense 'took' and 'wanted' are correct past forms. Suggestion: use 'when I was in high school' and 'play the guitar'.

× So I joined a nearby local music institute where I learned my skills and learned the basic theory of music.

✓ So I joined a nearby music institute where I learned skills and the basic theory of music.

'Nearby local' is redundant; choose one ('nearby' or 'local'). 'Learned my skills' is awkward—use 'learned skills' or 'developed my skills'. Suggestion: remove redundancy and use 'developed my skills' if emphasizing improvement.

× That place helped me to build my passion to play guitar and make it a hobby.

✓ That place helped me build my passion for playing the guitar and turn it into a hobby.

Use 'passion for' plus gerund 'playing' and include 'the' before 'guitar' when speaking generally. 'Make it a hobby' is better phrased as 'turn it into a hobby'. Suggestion: use 'passion for playing the guitar'.

× Yes I do. I often listen to music when I'm doing other task, for example at HO at work when I need a sharp concentration I love to listen to calm relaxing music because it made me more focused.

✓ Yes, I do. I often listen to music when I'm doing other tasks; for example, at work when I need sharp concentration I love to listen to calm, relaxing music because it makes me more focused.

Multiple issues: 'task' should be plural 'tasks'; 'at HO at work' is unclear—removed 'HO' and simplified to 'at work'; punctuation needed to separate clauses. 'Made' is past tense but context requires present 'makes'. Also include commas between adjectives 'calm, relaxing'. Suggestion: pluralize 'tasks', use present tense 'makes', and separate clauses for clarity.

× But when I'm at home and I'm alone and doing house course house chores I listen to upbeat.

✓ But when I'm at home alone doing house chores, I listen to upbeat music.

The original repeats 'house' and 'alone' awkwardly and omits 'music' after 'upbeat'. 'House course' is incorrect—use 'house chores'. Combine 'at home' and 'alone' for concision and add the missing noun 'music'. Suggestion: simplify to 'at home alone doing house chores'.