Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and unclear phrases, use correct tense and grammar, and add one specific reason or example. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words (e.g., because, so) for coherence.

例: I prefer happy music. Because it has an upbeat tempo and positive lyrics, it motivates me and helps me concentrate when I work. For example, I often play upbeat pop playlists while studying, which keeps my energy up and improves my focus.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (subject-verb agreement), and one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (e.g., especially, because, for example) and avoid fragmented sentences.

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited, especially when I'm already in a good mood. For example, upbeat songs boost my energy and motivation during work, helping me stay focused and productive.

提案: Give a short direct answer, correct grammar and structure, and provide one clear reason and specific example. Avoid unclear phrases and keep sentences connected with linking words (e.g., because, so, therefore).

例: No, I have never taken formal music classes because they are expensive. Instead, I learn from online tutorials and apps—for example, I follow instructional videos on YouTube to practice guitar techniques at home.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, use correct verb forms and parallel structure for listed effects (e.g., it helps me work harder, stay motivated, and relax), and give one brief specific example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks because it helps me work harder, stay motivated, and relax. For instance, I play instrumental playlists while cleaning or studying, which keeps me focused without distracting me.

× I preferred both of them, but if I had to choose, I could choose happy music.

✓ I prefer both of them, but if I have to choose, I would choose happy music.

The student used past tense 'preferred' and conditional 'could choose' though speaking about a general preference now. Use present simple 'prefer' for general preferences and the conditional 'would choose' or 'have to' for a hypothetical present choice. Suggestion: say 'I prefer ...' and 'if I have to choose, I would choose ...'.

× Due to the fact that happy music is MO, it motivates me to work.

✓ Because happy music is upbeat, it motivates me to work.

The phrase 'MO' is unclear and seems to be a wrong pronoun/abbreviation; 'Due to the fact that' is wordy. Replace with a clear adjective 'upbeat' and use 'Because' for reason. Ensure the subject 'it' clearly refers to 'happy music'.

× Rather, I'm a person who like listening music when I'm working, helping music help me to like, feel good.

✓ I'm a person who likes listening to music when I'm working; music helps me feel good.

Subject-verb agreement and preposition errors: 'who like' should be 'who likes' because 'who' refers to 'I' (third-person singular relative clause). Also 'listening music' needs 'listening to music'. 'Helping music help me to like, feel good' is ungrammatical; replace with 'music helps me feel good'. Suggest practicing relative clauses and common collocations 'listen to music' and 'help someone do something'.

× Of course happy music make me feel more excited especially when I am in a good mood.

✓ Of course happy music makes me feel more excited, especially when I am in a good mood.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'music' is a singular noun, so the verb must be 'makes' not 'make'. Also add a comma before the adverbial 'especially' for clarity.

× I it make me to be more energies and motivated especially when working it helped me to.

✓ It makes me more energetic and motivated, especially when I'm working.

The original sentence has pronoun duplication ('I it'), incorrect infinitive ('to be more energies'), and a misplaced clause 'it helped me to'. Use 'It makes me more energetic and motivated' and keep tense consistent for present habitual actions. 'Energetic' is the correct adjective form.

× No, I have never taken music classes before because it was very expensive.

✓ No, I have never taken music classes because they were very expensive.

Use plural agreement for 'music classes' with pronoun 'they' rather than 'it'. 'Before' is redundant with 'have never'; remove it. Keep present perfect for experiences up to now: 'I have never taken music classes because they were very expensive.'

× In addition with the high level of technology which leads more individuals for them to download many application where they can't learn, they can see through video.

✓ With the high level of technology, many people download applications and watch videos instead of taking lessons.

The original sentence has awkward conjunctions and relative clauses. 'In addition with' is incorrect; use 'With' or 'In addition,'. 'Leads more individuals for them to download' is ungrammatical — simplify to 'many people download applications'. 'Where they can't learn, they can see through video' is unclear; express idea simply: they watch videos instead of formal lessons. Suggest writing concisely and using correct relative clauses.

× Yes, it's what I'm doing for the moment.

✓ Yes, that's what I'm doing at the moment.

Use 'that's' (that is) to refer to the previous statement. Use the idiom 'at the moment' rather than 'for the moment'. Present continuous 'I'm doing' is correct for current ongoing action.

× Of course listening to music when doing whatever it helped me to be to work harder, to be motivated and relaxing and sometime it make me feel like excited.

✓ Of course, listening to music while doing other things helps me work harder, stay motivated, relax, and sometimes makes me feel excited.

Multiple errors: use 'listening to music' and 'while' for simultaneous actions. Maintain present simple 'helps' for habitual actions and 'makes' for third-person singular. Use correct verb forms: 'stay motivated', 'relax' (verb), 'sometimes' (spelling), and 'makes me feel excited' (no 'like'). Also avoid 'it helped me to be to' which is ungrammatical.

× I really like listening to music when working.

✓ I really like listening to music while I am working.

Original sentence is understandable, but 'when working' is informal; 'while I am working' is clearer. This keeps present habitual meaning. Note both versions are acceptable, but the corrected version improves clarity.