Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện: Hạn chế tiếng ậm ừ và sửa ngữ pháp để câu tự nhiên hơn. Nói rõ quan điểm ngay từ đầu (topic sentence), sau đó nêu lý do cụ thể với liên từ thích hợp. Chú ý dùng danh từ và tính từ chính xác (ví dụ: "its vibrant and catchy melodies" thay vì "it's vibrancy and attractiveness"). Giữ độ dài không quá 5 câu.

例: I prefer both sad and happy music, but I tend to listen to pop music more often because its vibrant and catchy melodies help me relax. For example, upbeat pop songs with simple rhythms make it easy for me to unwind after a long day.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh mâu thuẫn trong ý (vừa nói relax vừa energize) và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp (thì và dạng động từ). Trả lời trực tiếp rồi giải thích với ví dụ cụ thể. Dùng liên từ để kết nối ý (for example, when, because).

例: Yes, definitely. Happy music energizes me because upbeat melodies and fast tempos boost my mood. For example, I often play lively songs while running since they increase my pace and motivation.

提案: Cải thiện: Trả lời trực tiếp, sửa ngữ pháp (have taken, take, to test my ability), dùng từ vựng phù hợp (course/class, field). Nêu lý do và kế hoạch cụ thể nếu muốn học (when, why). Giữ câu ngắn và rõ ràng, tránh tiếng lắp.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes yet, but I would like to in the future because I'm curious about singing and playing instruments. For instance, next year I hope to enroll in a beginner guitar course to test and develop my musical skills.

提案: Cải thiện: Tránh diễn đạt mơ hồ ("all the things") và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp. Nói rõ hoạt động cụ thể, lý do tích cực (motivated, not anxiety). Dùng liên từ (because, so) và ví dụ cụ thể về lúc bạn nghe nhạc.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing homework or exercising because it helps me stay motivated and focused. For example, I put on instrumental tracks when studying and upbeat songs when I go for a run.

× Maybe I prefer both this type of music, uh.

✓ Maybe I prefer both types of music.

The student used 'both' with 'this type', which is incorrect. 'Both' requires a plural noun, so use 'types' to match. Suggestion: use 'both types of music' or 'both kinds of music'.

× However, I often listen to pop music rather than others because it's, umm, vibrancy and attractiveness make me feel relaxed and unwind.

✓ However, I often listen to pop music rather than other genres because its vibrancy and attractiveness make me feel relaxed and help me unwind.

Errors: 'others' should be 'other genres' or 'other types' (noun form), and 'it's vibrancy' should be 'its vibrancy' (possessive adjective). Also 'unwind' needs a helper verb 'help me unwind' to parallel 'make me feel relaxed'. Suggestion: replace 'others' with 'other genres', use 'its' for possession, and add 'help me' before 'unwind'.

× Yes, definitely. Melodies of music make me uh, relax and white.

✓ Yes, definitely. The melodies make me relax and feel light-hearted.

'Melodies of music' is awkward; 'the melodies' is natural. 'White' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'light' or 'light-hearted'. Suggestion: choose appropriate adjective and use 'feel' before it.

× I usually listen to music while I doing homework or running.

✓ I usually listen to music while I am doing homework or running.

The progressive tense requires auxiliary verb 'am' before present participle 'doing'. Suggestion: use 'I am doing' or 'I do' depending on intended meaning; here use continuous: 'I am doing homework'.

× Uh, music really energize me.

✓ Uh, music really energizes me.

Subject 'music' is singular (uncountable), so verb needs third person singular 'energizes'. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with singular subject.

× No, haven't.

✓ No, I haven't.

Omitted subject 'I'. In short answers, include subject 'I' before auxiliary verb. Suggestion: say 'No, I haven't.'

× I haven't talked about that before, but I think it's quite exciting.

✓ I haven't talked about that before, but I think it would be quite exciting.

Mix of present perfect and present opinion is acceptable but 'haven't talked about that before' implies past; 'would be' fits the hypothetical of taking a class. Suggestion: use 'would be' to express potential excitement about a future choice.

× Umm, hopefully I will have a choice to taken music class to, uh, test my ability in this sector.

✓ Umm, hopefully I will have a chance to take a music class to test my ability in this area.

'Taken' is incorrect after 'to' infinitive; use base form 'take'. 'Have a choice to' is awkward; use 'a chance to' or 'the opportunity to'. 'Sector' is formal/unclear for music; use 'area' or 'field'.

× Yes, listening to music while doing all the things is one of my hobbies.

✓ Yes, listening to music while doing various things is one of my hobbies.

'All the things' is ungrammatical and awkward. Use 'various things' or 'many things'. Keep '-ing' form 'doing' is fine. Suggestion: use natural collocation 'various things' or 'many activities'.

× I usually listen to music while I am doing homework hours or running because it's make me more motivated and anxiety.

✓ I usually listen to music while I am doing homework or running because it makes me more motivated and less anxious.

Errors: 'homework hours' is incorrect; use 'homework'. 'It's make' should be 'it makes' for third person singular. 'Anxiety' is a noun; here adjective 'anxious' (and likely 'less anxious') is needed. Suggestion: use 'makes me more motivated and less anxious'.