Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatical, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct comparative structure, remove filler words, and add one specific reason or example. Use linking words for coherence.

例: I prefer sad music to happy music because it feels comforting and helps me relax. For example, when I’m stressed after work, slow acoustic songs calm me down and help me unwind.

提案: Use clearer phrasing and correct grammar. Begin with a direct answer, then give a specific example and correct vocabulary choices. Replace vague phrases like “differ case by case” and fix verb forms.

例: Sometimes, yes. It depends on the song; upbeat pop or fast hip-hop often makes me feel energetic. For example, I enjoy Epic High because their fast rhythms and strong beats lift my mood and make me want to move.

提案: Combine ideas into one concise, grammatical response. Use past tense correctly and avoid repetition. Add a brief detail about what you learned or how it helped you to make the answer specific.

例: Yes, a few years ago I took a guitar class to learn basic chords and strumming patterns. It helped me accompany songs and improved my rhythm.

提案: Give a direct answer, remove hesitations and repetitions, and use correct verb forms. Provide a specific example of when and why a genre helps you concentrate, using linking words for clarity.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying or working. In particular, I find jazz helpful because its mellow tempo and lack of lyrics help me stay focused during long study sessions.

× I prefer listening sad music than happy music because it feels very comfort and uh, I can relax while listening sad music.

✓ I prefer listening to sad music rather than happy music because it feels very comforting and I can relax while listening to sad music.

Missing 'to' after 'listening' (verb + -ing often requires 'listening to') and comparison should use 'rather than'. 'Comfort' is a noun; the correct adjective is 'comforting'. Also add 'to' before the second 'listening'. Suggestions: use 'listening to' with music and 'comforting' as the adjective.

× It can differ case by case, but sometimes the exciting music makes me feel happy and excited as well.

✓ It can differ from case to case, but sometimes exciting music makes me feel happy and excited as well.

The phrase should be 'differ from case to case' not 'differ case by case'. 'The' before 'exciting music' is unnecessary when speaking generally. Suggestion: use the idiom 'differ from case to case' and omit 'the' for general statements.

× For example, I like hip hop, especially Epic High. Their music stars so fast.

✓ For example, I like hip hop, especially Epic High. Their music starts so fast.

Incorrect verb form 'stars' was used instead of 'starts' (third-person singular of 'start'). This is a verb form error; ensure the correct verb 'start' is used with 's' for third-person singular subjects.

× A few years ago I took part in guitar class to learn the guitar. Learn how to play guitar.

✓ A few years ago I took part in a guitar class to learn how to play the guitar.

Run-on/incomplete sentence: the second fragment 'Learn how to play guitar.' lacks subject and proper structure. Also need the article 'a' before 'guitar class' and include 'the' before 'guitar' for specificity. Suggestion: combine into one complete past-tense sentence and include necessary articles.

× Absolutely yes. I listen to music while studying or working. UMM in particular especially especially I like listening to jazz music while stay staying focusing on study.

✓ Absolutely yes. I listen to music while studying or working. In particular, I like listening to jazz music while staying focused on my studies.

Redundant fillers ('UMM especially especially') should be removed. Use 'staying focused' (present participle) instead of 'stay staying focusing', and 'on my studies' is the natural collocation. Suggestion: say 'staying focused on my studies' or 'focusing on my studies' and avoid repeated words.