Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Give a direct, present-tense topic sentence and then add 1–2 clear supporting reasons linked with simple connectors. Avoid grammar errors (use 'prefer' not 'preferred', 'whoever' is incorrect) and be concise (max 5 sentences). Use specific examples of situations. Practice subject–verb agreement and correct verb forms.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me concentrate. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop songs while walking or doing my homework, which keeps me motivated. Also, when I’m doing assignments at home, cheerful tunes make the time pass faster.

提案: Answer directly with a clear subject and avoid unclear phrases like 'when they seem to happen music' and 'for those people.' Use linking words (because, so, therefore) and give a brief specific example of how it affects you. Keep to 2–3 sentences and check pronoun use ('it' for music).

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because it gives me energy and improves my mood. For instance, listening to lively music before a workout helps me feel more motivated and focused.

提案: Use correct tense and concise structure: start with a direct answer (No, I haven’t) and then give a clear reason using past tense where appropriate. Avoid repetitive phrases and unclear references ('project of my parents'). Provide one concrete detail about when or why you wanted classes. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because my family couldn’t afford them when I was younger. I wanted to learn piano as a child, but we had to prioritize other expenses at that time.

提案: Begin with a direct statement (Yes, I often do) then explain specific activities and benefits with linking words (because, so). Correct grammar: 'things', 'it motivates me', 'help me work faster'. Give a concrete example of a task and the type of music you choose. Keep it within 3 sentences.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying or cleaning because it motivates me and helps me stay focused. For example, I play instrumental or upbeat playlists when I’m doing assignments, which helps me work faster and with more energy.

× I preferred happy music because I'm a joyful person whoever when walking or do whatever.

✓ I prefer happy music because I'm a joyful person who likes to listen while walking or doing whatever.

The student used 'preferred' (past) but is describing a general preference, so present simple 'prefer' is correct. 'Whoever' is incorrect; use relative pronoun 'who'. 'When walking or do whatever' mixes forms; use gerund forms 'walking' and 'doing' and rephrase for clarity. Suggestion: Use present simple for habitual preferences and match verb forms after 'who' and parallel gerunds (e.g., 'who likes listening while walking or doing other things').

× I like to understand happy music when doing some time my assignment and when working at home.

✓ I like to listen to happy music while doing my assignments and when working at home.

The phrase 'like to understand happy music' is unnatural; 'listen to' is correct. 'When doing some time my assignment' has word order and article errors; use 'while doing my assignments'. Use present participle 'doing' correctly and plural 'assignments' for general activities. Suggestion: Use 'while' for simultaneous actions and correct verb collocation: 'listen to music while doing assignments'. Also use plural if referring to tasks in general.

× Of course, when they seem to happen music, it gives you energy and motivates you and also it lifts your mood.

✓ Of course, when upbeat music plays, it gives you energy, motivates you, and lifts your mood.

'They seem to happen music' is ungrammatical and misuses the pronoun 'they'. Replace with a clear subject 'upbeat music' or 'happy music' and the verb 'plays'. Maintain subject-verb agreement and parallel verbs in the list. Suggestion: Use a clear subject for music and simple verbs: 'when happy music plays, it gives you energy, motivates you, and lifts your mood.'

× Naturally happy music is also advantageous when working for those people.

✓ Naturally, happy music is also helpful for those people when working.

'Advantageous' is formal and awkward here; 'helpful' is more natural. Word order 'when working for those people' is confusing; place the prepositional phrase after 'helpful' and use 'for those people when working' or specify who is working. Suggestion: Use natural adjectives and clear word order: 'helpful for people when they are working.'

× No, I never take a music classes because of money.

✓ No, I never took music classes because of money.

The student uses present tense 'take' but refers to past actions; use past simple 'took'. Also remove the article 'a' before 'music classes' since 'music classes' is plural. Suggestion: Use past simple for past experiences and correct article use: 'I never took music classes.'

× When I was try I really want to do music classes to attend music classes but it was depending on the project of my parents.

✓ When I tried, I really wanted to attend music classes, but it depended on my parents' plans.

Multiple tense errors: 'was try' should be 'tried' (past), 'want' should be 'wanted' (past), and 'was depending' should be 'depended' (past simple). 'Project of my parents' is awkward; 'parents' plans' or 'parents' situation' is clearer. Suggestion: Use past simple consistently when narrating past attempts and simplify phrases: 'When I tried, I wanted to attend, but it depended on my parents' situation.'

× My parents were not having money.

✓ My parents did not have money.

'Were not having money' uses progressive aspect incorrectly for a state; use simple past 'did not have'. Suggestion: Use simple verbs for states in the past: 'did not have' or 'didn't have any money.'

× Of course I listen to music when doing other thing because it motivate me and give me more energy.

✓ Of course I listen to music when doing other things because it motivates me and gives me more energy.

Use plural 'things' for general activities. Subject-verb agreement errors: 'it motivate' and 'give' should be 'it motivates' and 'gives' (third person singular). Maintain present simple for habitual actions. Suggestion: Ensure subject-verb agreement with 'it' and pluralize 'things' when referring to various activities.

× Also it is advantageous for me to work rather and to be fast when working.

✓ Also, it helps me work faster and be more efficient when working.

'Advantageous for me to work rather' is unclear; 'work rather' is incorrect. Use 'work faster' or 'be more efficient'. Preposition 'to' and word 'rather' are misused. Rephrase to a natural collocation. Suggestion: Use clear verbs and adverbs for purpose: 'it helps me work faster' or 'it makes me more productive when I work.'