Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix subject-verb agreement and word order.

例: I prefer both sad and happy music, depending on my mood. For example, when I’m feeling down I listen to slow, sad songs because their lyrics and melodies help me relax. On the other hand, when I want to feel upbeat, I choose lively pop songs to cheer myself up.

提案: Give a direct answer then support it with one or two concise reasons and a brief example. Correct grammar (singular/plural, articles) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like because and for example.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because it usually has a fast tempo and upbeat melodies. For example, when I listen to energetic pop songs before a presentation, they boost my mood and make me feel more confident.

提案: Answer directly and give one or two clear reasons. Avoid contradictory phrases and improve coherence by using linking words (because, so, however). Fix grammar and remove repetition.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes because I prefer listening to music rather than learning to play instruments. Also, I’m currently busy with my academic studies, so I don’t have time to attend classes.

提案: Start with a clear yes/no and give specific examples of activities. Use linking words (for example, when, because) and correct verb forms. Avoid repeating same ideas; be specific about how music helps you.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities because it helps me concentrate and feel energetic. For example, I play mellow instrumental music when studying to stay calm, and I listen to upbeat songs while exercising to keep my energy up.

× Whenever I am sad, I look for the sad music and they feel make me feel relaxed and I feel comfortable with sad songs.

✓ Whenever I am sad, I look for sad music because it makes me feel relaxed and comfortable.

Original contains subject-verb agreement errors and redundant/incorrect pronoun references: 'the sad music' and 'they feel make me feel' are incorrect. 'Music' as an uncountable noun takes singular verb 'makes' and should be referred to with 'it' not 'they'. Also remove redundancy for clarity. Suggestion: treat 'music' as uncountable, use singular verbs and a single clear clause.

× But whenever I am happy to make my mind more cheerful, I love to listen happy music.

✓ When I am happy and want to make my mood more cheerful, I love to listen to happy music.

Original uses 'but whenever' awkwardly and misuses infinitives. Also 'listen happy music' is missing the preposition 'to' and 'mind' is better as 'mood'. Replace conjunction and restructure to maintain natural meaning. Use 'listen to' with 'music'.

× So it depends on the situation only.

✓ So it only depends on the situation.

Placement of 'only' is awkward; although not strictly a grammar violation, reordering yields more natural English. Keep subject-verb agreement intact; 'depends' is correct for singular 'it'.

× Definitely yes, Happy music always makes me feel more excited as they are more energetic and I love these type of songs as I'm fond of pop songs because they are more energetic and happy so I love to listen those musics to make my my more cheerful and they also make me confident.

✓ Definitely. Happy music always makes me feel more excited because it is more energetic. I like this type of music, especially pop songs, because they are energetic and cheerful, so I listen to them to make my mood more cheerful and to feel more confident.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement and pronoun references ('music' singular vs 'they'), article and countable/uncountable errors ('these type' -> 'this type', 'musics' incorrect), repeated words, and preposition omissions ('listen to'). Also tense/present usage should be consistent. Break into shorter sentences for clarity. Use 'it' for 'music' or 'they' for 'songs' consistently.

× Happy music always makes me feel more excited as they are more energetic

✓ Happy music always makes me feel more excited because it is more energetic.

Inconsistent pronoun: 'music' (uncountable) should take 'it' not 'they'. Use 'because' rather than 'as' for clearer causal connection in spoken English. Ensure pronoun number matches noun.

× Have you taken any music classes? Student: No, I haven't taken any music classes because I'm not fond of music that much.

✓ No, I haven't taken any music classes because I'm not that fond of music.

Original has awkward word order 'music that much' and repetition of 'music'. Use idiomatic 'not that fond of music'. 'Any music classes' is fine in question; in answer remove redundancy.

× To take a music classes I just love to listen the songs only.

✓ I wouldn't take music classes; I just love to listen to songs.

Errors: 'a music classes' mixes singular article with plural noun; 'listen the songs' missing preposition 'to' and 'the' is unnecessary. Rephrase to natural response. Also align negative intention with 'wouldn't' if expressing preference.

× So I I think I do not have much time.

✓ So I think I do not have much time.

Repeated 'I' is a speech disfluency; remove the duplicate. Present tense 'do not have' is fine. Keep concise.

× Also for these classes I usually spend more time on my academics only.

✓ Also, because of classes I usually need to spend more time on my academics.

Original 'for these classes' and 'spend more time on my academics only' is awkward. Use 'because of classes' or 'for classes' and 'spend more time on my academics' without 'only'. Clarify cause and consequence. Ensure prepositions and word order are natural.

× Yeah, of course I love to listen music so while doing other things because it make me feel relaxed also and more energetic while doing any type of work.

✓ Yes, of course I love to listen to music while doing other things because it makes me feel relaxed and more energetic when doing any kind of work.

Missing preposition 'to' after 'listen', subject-verb agreement ('it make' -> 'it makes'), redundant 'also' and awkward word order. Use 'when' or 'while' consistently and 'any kind of work' for natural phrasing.

× And even whenever I'm doing any work I feel more comfortable while listening to songs.

✓ Even when I'm doing any work, I feel more comfortable listening to songs.

'Whenever' is acceptable but 'when' is more natural here; remove 'while' redundancy. Keep 'listening to songs' without extra prepositions. Add a comma after the subordinate clause for readability.

× Even the lyrics are cheerful.

✓ Even the lyrics are cheerful.

Sentence is grammatically correct but may be better linked: e.g., 'Even the lyrics are cheerful.' No change needed; keep as is. Explanation: adjective 'cheerful' correctly modifies 'lyrics'.