Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, use correct verb forms and singular/plural agreement, avoid redundancy, and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Add one specific example to support your point and use a linking word when adding details.

例: I prefer happy music because it is energetic and quickly lifts my mood. For example, I often play upbeat pop songs while driving to work, which helps me feel more alert and positive. Moreover, I listen to cheerful tunes while cooking because they make the task more enjoyable.

提案: Answer directly, correct grammar and word choice, and keep it concise. Use one linking word to connect cause and effect (e.g., because, so) and give a specific situation showing the effect. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and redundant phrases.

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythms wake me up and reduce stress. For instance, after a long shift, I play energetic songs and they help me unwind and regain energy quickly.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and concise supporting details: mention which classes, what you learned, and one specific benefit. Fix repetition and grammar (e.g., 'different instruments'). Keep within 2–3 sentences and use a linking word if adding an example.

例: Yes, I took music classes after school where I learned basic piano and guitar techniques. These lessons taught me how to play simple songs and understand musical notation, which improved my confidence and practical skills.

提案: Start with a direct statement, correct prepositions and phrasing (e.g., 'while cooking' or 'when driving'), and avoid repeating the same idea. Use a linking word to explain why and give a specific example of a song or genre you listen to in those situations.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while cooking or driving. For example, I play upbeat pop playlists when I cook to keep my energy up, and I choose calm acoustic tracks when driving home to relax after a stressful day.

× Yes, I usually prefer happy music because they are more energetic and also help to lifted my mood and I can enjoy while driving and cooking time because it makes my mood better.

✓ Yes, I usually prefer happy music because it is more energetic and also helps to lift my mood, and I can enjoy it while driving and cooking because it makes me feel better.

The noun 'music' is uncountable and takes singular verbs and pronouns ('it' not 'they'). 'Help to lifted' mixes infinitive and past participle; use 'helps to lift' or 'helps lift'. 'I can enjoy while driving and cooking time' lacks object and word order: use 'enjoy it while driving and cooking'. Also change 'it makes my mood better' to natural 'it makes me feel better'. Suggestions: use correct subject-verb agreement with uncountable nouns, use base form after 'help', and include necessary objects and natural phrasing.

× Yes, happy music feel me very more excited because I can feel, unwind and relax after listening music.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me much more excited because I help myself unwind and relax after listening to music.

Subject-verb agreement: 'music' (singular/uncountable) requires 'makes' not 'feel'. Also 'feel me very more excited' is incorrect word order and comparative form; use 'much more excited'. 'I can feel, unwind and relax' mixes verbs awkwardly; better: 'I help myself unwind and relax' or 'it helps me unwind and relax'. Also 'listening music' requires preposition 'to'. Suggestions: use correct verb for uncountable subject, correct adverb placement ('much more'), and include 'to' after 'listening'.

× Uh, during my hectic day, I feel so lazy and it is a good idea to improve my mood.

✓ Uh, during a hectic day, I sometimes feel lazy, so listening to music is a good way to improve my mood.

The original sentence has vague subject and awkward connection. 'During my hectic day' is unnatural; use 'during a hectic day' or 'on a hectic day'. 'I feel so lazy and it is a good idea to improve my mood' lacks a clear subject for 'it' and the phrase 'it is a good idea to improve my mood' is awkward. Rephrase to show cause and effect: 'I sometimes feel lazy, so listening to music is a good way to improve my mood.' Suggestions: clarify time expressions, connect ideas with 'so' for result, and specify actions (listening to music).

× Yes, I have taken music classes after my school because it helps to improve my skills and provide knowledge about different instrument instruments.

✓ Yes, I took music classes after school because they helped me improve my skills and provided knowledge about different instruments.

Mixed tense and incorrect time expression: 'have taken ... after my school' is incorrect; use simple past 'took' with clear time reference 'after school'. 'Have taken' with 'after school' is possible but unnatural here. Also subject-verb agreement: 'they helped' matches plural 'classes'. 'Provide' should be past 'provided' to match past context. 'Different instrument instruments' duplicates 'instrument' and should be 'different instruments'. Suggestions: use simple past for completed past actions, ensure verbs match subject number, and remove duplicated words.

× How to use it is a very effective way to learn music.

✓ Learning how to use them is a very effective way to learn music.

The original is a fragment and misuses 'it' without a clear antecedent; 'instruments' (plural) was mentioned, so use 'them'. Also the gerund phrase 'learning how to use them' functions as the subject. Rewriting to 'Learning how to use them is a very effective way to learn music' makes a complete sentence. Suggestions: ensure pronouns agree with their antecedents and use gerund phrases to form full subject clauses.

× Well, I usually listen to music when I am working in a kitchen or a driving time.

✓ Well, I usually listen to music when I am working in the kitchen or while driving.

Prepositions and articles are incorrect: 'in a kitchen' should be 'in the kitchen' if referring to one's kitchen, or 'while driving' is the correct phrase not 'a driving time'. 'When I am working in a kitchen or a driving time' mixes structures; use parallel forms 'in the kitchen or while driving'. Suggestions: choose correct prepositions ('in the kitchen', 'while driving') and keep parallel structure.

× Driving time because it is a very beneficial to lift my mood and I feel distressed from a hectic work so I can relax after listening music.

✓ While driving, it is very beneficial for lifting my mood, and when I feel stressed from hectic work, I can relax after listening to music.

Fragment and article/preposition errors: 'Driving time because' is a fragment; use 'While driving'. 'It is a very beneficial to lift' incorrectly uses 'beneficial' with infinitive; use 'beneficial for lifting' or 'beneficial to lift' without 'a'. 'Distressed from a hectic work' is incorrect collocation; use 'stressed from hectic work' or 'stressed from a hectic day'. 'Listening music' needs 'to'. Suggestions: start with appropriate subordinating conjunctions, use correct collocations ('stressed', 'hectic work'), and include necessary prepositions.