Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear but a little repetitive and slightly awkward. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repeating the phrase 'sad mood music', and add a specific reason or brief example to make it more informative. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I usually prefer happy music, although it depends on my mood. For example, I listen to upbeat pop when I want to feel energetic because its tempo and lyrics lift my spirits. I only choose sad songs when I need to reflect or relax.

提案: Good direct answer, but it repeats 'happy music' and 'set the mood' without specifics. State your position clearly, then give one concise reason with a concrete detail (e.g. rhythm, tempo, instruments) and use a linking word for coherence.

例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms and fast tempos boost my energy. For instance, when I hear fast drums or lively guitar, I immediately feel like moving or singing along.

提案: This answer is clear, specific and well structured. To improve, combine sentences for fluency and add a short comment about what you learned or how you felt to enrich the response.

例: Yes, I took piano lessons in Year 4 and guitar lessons from Years 5 to 6, mainly for school grades. However, I learned basic chords and simple songs, which made practicing more enjoyable.

提案: Your answer is direct but a bit short and ends informally ('And yeah'). Add a specific example of how music helps you with a task, use a linking word, and avoid fillers.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing chores, especially when I clean my room because upbeat songs make the work feel faster. For example, playing energetic pop helps me stay motivated and finish tidying more quickly.

× It actually depends on the mood, but I mostly choose happy music because happy music can set the mood rather than the sad mood music.

✓ It actually depends on my mood, but I mostly choose happy music because it can set the mood more than sad music.

The original sentence uses 'the mood' and 'sad mood music' awkwardly and repeats 'happy music'. Replace 'the mood' with 'my mood' for clarity and use 'it' to refer back to 'happy music'. Also change 'rather than the sad mood music' to 'more than sad music' for natural comparison and concision.

× Happy music can make me feel more excited than sad music because happy music can set the mood, the energy and the vibe really.

✓ Happy music can make me feel more excited than sad music because it can set the mood, the energy, and the vibe.

Repeating 'happy music' is redundant; use 'it' to refer back to the subject. Remove the informal 'really' at the end or integrate it properly. Add commas for list clarity. This makes the sentence more natural and concise.

× I used to take guitar and piano lessons, but it was only because of school for grades.

✓ I used to take guitar and piano lessons, but it was only because of school grades.

The phrase 'for grades' is awkward here. Use 'school grades' to indicate the reason. The past tense 'used to take' is correct; just adjust the noun phrase for idiomatic English.

× I took piano lessons when I was in year 4 and took guitar lessons when I was in Year 5 to 6.

✓ I took piano lessons when I was in Year 4 and guitar lessons in Years 5 and 6.

Standardize capitalization of 'Year' and express the range more naturally as 'Years 5 and 6'. Remove the repeated verb 'took' to make the sentence smoother while keeping past tense consistent.

× Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks, especially while cleaning my room because it can set the mood. And yeah.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music while doing other tasks, especially when cleaning my room, because it can set the mood.

Avoid starting the final clause with the informal filler 'And yeah.' Use 'when' instead of the second 'while' to vary conjunctions and add a comma before 'because' for clarity. This removes the informal discourse marker and makes the sentence appropriate for a test setting.