Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 의미 전달이 불명확합니다. 질문에는 직접적으로 선호를 밝히고 이유와 구체적 상황을 덧붙여야 합니다. 문법 오류(동사 형태, 관사, 대명사)와 어색한 표현을 고쳐야 하며, 응답은 3문장 이내로 간결하게 유지하세요. 예를 들어: 주제 문장(선호), 이유(구체적 감정 변화), 예시(언제 듣는지) 순으로 말하세요.

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and makes me feel more energetic. For example, I often play upbeat songs in the morning to wake up and feel ready for the day. When I take deep breaths, cheerful melodies help me relax and stay positive.

提案: 대답은 긍정으로 시작한 뒤 구체적인 이유와 상황을 명확히 제시해야 합니다. 반복과 불필요한 어휘(um, I think so 등)를 줄이고 문법(시제, 주어-동사 일치)을 바로잡으세요. 연결어(for example, when)로 논리를 정리하면 더 설득력 있습니다.

例: Yes, absolutely. Happy music energizes me because upbeat rhythms and major chords lift my spirits. For example, when I feel depressed I play lively songs to distract myself and gradually feel more positive.

提案: 응답이 질문에 제대로 답하지 못하고 엉뚱한 내용으로 흐릅니다. 먼저 간단히 '없다'고 답한 뒤 이유나 관심(배우고 싶은 악기, 이유)을 구체적으로 말하세요. 비격식 체어나 의미 불명확한 표현을 피하고 문장을 간결히 구성하세요.

例: No, I haven't taken any music classes. However, I would like to learn guitar because I enjoy singing along to songs. If I had the chance, I would take beginner lessons to improve my rhythm and playing skills.

提案: 질문에 대한 직접적 답변은 좋지만 내용이 뒤섞여 있고 불분명한 고유명사와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 어떤 활동(예: 걷기, 공부) 중에 듣는지, 어떤 음악을 선택하는지와 이유를 명확히 설명하세요. 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 문장을 논리적으로 구성하세요.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities, especially when I walk. For example, I usually play K-pop like BLACKPINK because their energetic songs keep me motivated during my daily walks.

× I prefer to listen to the happy music like Harper which made me more exciting especially when I deep breath.

✓ I prefer to listen to happy music like Harper, which makes me more excited, especially when I take a deep breath.

The sentence uses incorrect adjective/adverb forms: 'the happy music' is better as 'happy music' (no article), 'made' should be present tense 'makes' to match habitual preference, and 'exciting' should be 'excited' to describe the listener's feeling. 'Deep breath' needs a verb: 'take a deep breath'. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and use adjectives that describe the subject's state (excited) rather than causing (exciting).

× I always try as always and also I try to listen to the sad imaging when I.

✓ I always try to listen to sad music sometimes, but I stop when I feel overwhelmed.

The original sentence is fragmented and repetitive ('I always try as always') and ends abruptly ('when I.'). 'Sad imaging' is incorrect word choice. The correction provides a complete sentence showing contrast. Suggestion: avoid repetition and finish clauses with a clear verb and object; use 'sad music' instead of 'sad imaging'.

× Yes, absolutely. I think so. Umm, because the happy meeting especially made my mind more exciting, especially when I be when I'm depressed.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I think so. Umm, because happy music especially makes my mind more alert, especially when I'm depressed.

Tense and word form errors: 'made' should be present 'makes' for general truth; 'the happy meeting' is incorrect phrase — 'happy music' fits; 'more exciting' is not the state for the listener, use 'more alert' or 'more excited'; 'when I be when I'm depressed' is ungrammatical redundant clause. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual effects and simplify clauses ('when I'm depressed').

× To be honest to know, I haven't take any music classes, however I don't like to.

✓ To be honest, I haven't taken any music classes; however, I don't want to.

The auxiliary 'have' requires past participle 'taken' not base form 'take'. 'To be honest to know' is unnatural — use 'To be honest'. 'I don't like to' is vague; 'I don't want to' clarifies intent. Suggestion: use present perfect 'haven't taken' for life experiences and use correct past participle after 'have'.

× If I get the chance, I wanna try to dash away basketballs because I enjoy going to Jasper with my friends and listening to live performance.

✓ If I get the chance, I want to try playing basketball because I enjoy going to Jasper with my friends and listening to live performances.

Informal 'wanna' should be 'want to' in formal speech. 'Try to dash away basketballs' is ungrammatical and unclear; use 'try playing basketball'. 'Live performance' should be plural 'live performances' to match general activity. Suggestion: use standard modals/forms and correct verb phrases ('try playing') and pluralize countable nouns when speaking generally.

× Yes, that I often listen to the music when I go to Jane for instance, I like Black Pink who uh one of the most popular kaipata and there are so many and more motivated during my walk off.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music when I go to Jane. For instance, I like Blackpink, who are one of the most popular K-pop groups and make me more motivated during my walks.

Multiple issues: unnecessary 'that' removed; 'listen to the music' -> 'listen to music' (no article for general activity); 'Black Pink' should be 'Blackpink' and is a group so use plural verb 'are'; 'kaipata' is incorrect spelling of 'K-pop' or 'K-pop group'; 'there are so many and more motivated during my walk off' is ungrammatical — rephrased to 'make me more motivated during my walks.' Suggestion: use correct band name and agreement, remove articles for general activities, and use plural forms for repeated actions ('walks').