Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and vague phrases like "make my emotion better" or "emotional loss."

例: I prefer happy music because it boosts my mood and energy. For example, I often listen to upbeat pop songs that have strong rhythms, which help me feel refreshed and motivated. In contrast, sad songs tend to make me feel down, so I usually avoid them.

提案: Use consistent tense and reduce repetition. Give one clear reason and a specific example of when you listen to happy music, using linking words (e.g., "for example," "so").

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more energetic. For example, I play upbeat songs on my way to school to wake myself up, and I also listen to them while exercising because the fast tempo helps me keep going.

提案: Structure the answer: give a clear topic sentence, correct tense, and add a specific detail about lessons or achievements. Avoid unclear phrases like "this is the only."

例: Yes, I have taken piano lessons since I was six, so I have been playing for over ten years. For instance, I learned classical pieces and performed at school recitals, which helped me feel relaxed and more confident on stage.

提案: Avoid filler words and correct tense. Answer directly, then give specific examples of activities and why pop music suits them, using linking words to connect ideas. Replace vague descriptors like "far speed" with "fast tempo."

例: Yes, I usually listen to music while studying and exercising. For example, I choose pop songs with a fast tempo and strong beats because they help me concentrate during homework and push harder during gym sessions.

× I prefer happy music more than sad music because I think they make my emotion better.

✓ I prefer happy music to sad music because I think it improves my mood.

Using 'more than' with 'prefer' is awkward; use 'prefer X to Y'. 'They' is plural but 'music' here is treated as a singular uncountable noun so use 'it'. 'Make my emotion better' is unnatural; 'improves my mood' is a clear, idiomatic alternative.

× When I listen to happy music, I will feel refreshed and energetic 'cause I would love to listen to some pop music that give me energy.

✓ When I listen to happy music, I feel refreshed and energetic because I love listening to pop music that gives me energy.

Use simple present 'I feel' for habitual actions instead of 'will feel'. 'Would love' implies hypotheticals; 'love' fits habitual preference. 'Give' should be 'gives' to agree with singular 'music' or 'pop music' as a singular noun.

× But when I listen to sad music, it will affect my emotional loss, so I don't prefer that.

✓ But when I listen to sad music, it affects my emotions, so I don't prefer it.

Use simple present 'affects' for habitual effect. 'Emotional loss' is unidiomatic; 'emotions' or 'mood' is better. Pronoun should be 'it' to refer to 'sad music'.

× Yes, I think happy music made me feel more excited and energetic.

✓ Yes, I think happy music makes me feel more excited and energetic.

Use present tense 'makes' because the speaker is describing a general effect of happy music, not a single past event. 'Made' implies past which conflicts with habitual meaning.

× When I listen to happy music, I will feel that I am stronger and I have a lot of energy.

✓ When I listen to happy music, I feel stronger and have a lot of energy.

Use simple present 'feel' and 'have' for habitual states; remove unnecessary 'will' and repeated 'I' for conciseness and naturalness.

× So I especially love to listen to happy music when I was going to the schools or when I am doing my homework and doing the workouts.

✓ So I especially love to listen to happy music when I go to school, when I do my homework, and when I work out.

Use simple present 'go', 'do', 'work out' for habitual actions. 'Was going to the schools' mixes past and plural; 'go to school' is the standard expression. Use parallel structure for the list of activities.

× I have taken music classes or piano lessons.

✓ I have taken music classes and piano lessons.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable but 'or' suggests uncertainty; likely the speaker means they took both, so 'and' is clearer. No tense change needed.

× I have learned the piano since I was around six years old and I have learned that for almost 10, more than 10 years.

✓ I have been learning the piano since I was around six years old, for almost ten years or more.

Use present perfect continuous 'have been learning' for an action that started in the past and continues. 'I have learned that for' is awkward; rephrase to 'for almost ten years or more' and use numerals as words for style consistency.

× I love to play the piano because I think it made me feel relaxed and energetic and also it made me feel I'm elegant.

✓ I love to play the piano because I think it makes me feel relaxed and energetic and also makes me feel elegant.

Use present 'makes' for habitual effect. 'Made me feel I'm elegant' is ungrammatical; use 'makes me feel elegant' and keep verbs parallel.

× So I really love to learn the piano and this is the only.

✓ So I really love learning the piano and it is the only instrument I play.

Original sentence ends abruptly with 'this is the only' which is incomplete. Provide the missing noun phrase 'instrument I play' for clarity and proper sentence structure; use 'learning' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I always listen to music when I was doing my homework or when I was umm, doing workouts in gym because I think listen to I love to listen to pop music because I think this kind of music is uh far speed and also strong beats.

✓ Yes, I always listen to music when I do my homework or when I work out in the gym because I love listening to pop music; I think this kind of music is fast and has strong beats.

Use simple present 'do' and 'work out' for habitual actions instead of past 'was doing'. Remove disfluencies. 'Listen to I love to listen to' is redundant; simplify to 'I love listening'. 'Far speed' is incorrect; use 'fast' and 'has strong beats' to describe music.

× So it make me feel more energetic when I was doing my sports or when I was doing my homework.

✓ So it makes me feel more energetic when I do sports or when I do my homework.

Use 'makes' to agree with singular 'it' and simple present 'do' for habitual activities; replace past progressive 'was doing'.

× Allow me fulfill.

✓ It helps me stay motivated.

'Allow me fulfill' is ungrammatical and incomplete. Provide a natural, complete expression such as 'It helps me stay motivated' that conveys the intended meaning.