Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and clear: state your preference in one topic sentence, avoid filler words and unclear phrases, and give 1–2 specific reasons or examples using linking words (e.g. 'because', 'so', 'for example'). Keep to 2–3 sentences total and use correct verb forms.

例: I prefer sad music because I find it more emotionally rich and calming. For example, I often listen to mellow playlists when I relax because the lyrics and slower tempo help me unwind.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason), then add a specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid vague phrases like 'a lot of time' and correct collocations (e.g. 'my emotions connect with').

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because the upbeat rhythm and lively melody boost my energy. For example, when I hear fast pop songs, I usually feel motivated to move or sing along.

提案: Start with a clear past-tense topic sentence (Yes/No + brief detail), then give two specific points about what you learned or why it wasn't useful. Use correct vocabulary (e.g. 'music production', 'recording', 'tracking') and grammar (past tense) and avoid unclear words like 'lithium'.

例: Yes, I took a music class in high school about five years ago, but I didn't find it very useful. The teacher showed us basic music production and recording techniques, such as tracking instruments, but I realized that producing music wasn't something I wanted to pursue.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and then specific circumstances using linking words (e.g. 'when', 'but', 'because'). Correct common mistakes: 'while doing other things', 'that don't require much concentration', 'I won't listen to music'. Keep it concise and natural.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing low-focus activities such as walking or exercising because it helps me relax. However, I don't listen to music when I'm doing homework or working on audio projects because it distracts me.

× I found myself listen to a lot of the playlist music.

✓ I found myself listening to a lot of playlist music.

The verb 'find (oneself) + -ing' requires the -ing form; 'listen' should be 'listening'. Use 'playlist music' without 'the' for natural phrasing.

× Uh, I, you don't even know why, but I think I like it more than happy music.

✓ Uh, I don't even know why, but I think I like sad music more than happy music.

The original mixes pronouns awkwardly ('I, you don't even know why'). Replace with 'I don't even know why'. Also clarify comparison by naming 'sad music' to make meaning explicit.

× Yes, obviously I found myself, my emotion connect to the music a lot of time.

✓ Yes, obviously I find that my emotions connect to the music a lot of the time.

Mixes past and present ('found myself') but question is about general truth, so use present simple 'find'. 'Emotion' should be plural 'emotions'. Use 'connect' with 'to' and include 'the' in 'a lot of the time'.

× I used to take music class in my high school like five years ago, but I didn't learn a lot of thing from that class.

✓ I used to take a music class in high school about five years ago, but I didn't learn many things from that class.

Use article 'a' before 'music class'. 'My high school' can be 'high school' or 'my high school'; both OK; 'like' is informal so use 'about'. 'A lot of thing' should be 'many things' for countable plural.

× The teacher teach me about how to make the lithium, how to track to be, but I don't know this is not my thing.

✓ The teacher taught me about how to make the rhythm and how to do tracking, but I know this is not my thing.

Use past tense 'taught' to match 'used to'. Several unclear phrases: 'lithium' seems to be 'rhythm'; 'track to be' likely means 'tracking' or 'how to do tracking'. 'I don't know this is not my thing' should be 'I know this is not my thing' or 'I realized it's not for me'.

× Yes uh mostly why doing thing that don't require much concentrate like walking or exercising, but if I have to do my homework or audio project I will not listening my music to distract me.

✓ Yes, uh, mostly when doing things that don't require much concentration, like walking or exercising, but if I have to do my homework or an audio project I will not listen to music because it distracts me.

Use 'when doing' instead of 'why doing'. 'Thing' should be plural 'things'. 'Concentrate' should be noun 'concentration'. 'I will not listening my music' requires base verb: 'I will not listen to music'. Also add 'an' before 'audio project' and clarify cause ('because it distracts me').