Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (e.g. ‘I prefer both, depending on my mood.’), avoid irrelevant words or errors (remove ‘television Samsung’), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g. ‘for example’ or ‘however’). Keep it under 4–5 sentences.

例: I prefer both sad and happy music depending on my mood. For example, when I feel low I listen to sad songs because they help me reflect and calm down. However, when I need energy I choose upbeat, happy tracks to motivate me and improve my focus.

提案: Avoid repetition and grammar errors: answer directly (‘Yes’) and follow with one or two concise reasons using linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’. Use correct verb forms and reduce redundancy.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me more excited because the upbeat rhythm and positive lyrics boost my energy. As a result, I feel more cheerful and ready to take on tasks.

提案: Use correct tense and clearer structure: begin with a topic sentence (‘No, I haven’t taken music classes.’), then give a brief reason and one specific supporting detail. Use linking words like ‘because’ and ‘instead’ correctly.

例: No, I haven’t taken any formal music classes because I never had the opportunity. Instead, I attend dance classes where I use music to learn rhythm and choreography, so the tune often determines the steps I practice.

提案: Give a clear, natural reply and specific examples: say ‘Yes’ then list 2–3 activities and the types of music you choose, using linking words (‘for example’, ‘while’, ‘because’). Remove unclear phrases and filler words.

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I play upbeat pop songs when I’m cooking to stay motivated, and I listen to relaxing acoustic tracks while taking a shower to unwind.

× When I am usually feeling low, then at that time I like television Samsung.

✓ When I usually feel low, I like sad music.

The original sentence uses an odd phrase 'television Samsung' which is likely incorrect vocabulary; 'usually feeling' is less natural than simple present 'usually feel' for habitual actions. Use 'sad music' to answer the question about preferring sad or happy music. Use simple present for habits. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual states (I usually feel), and choose correct vocabulary relevant to music.

× Whereas when I need a lot of energy and when I really feel excited for anything, then at that time I need happy music most to energize, to boost.

✓ When I need a lot of energy or feel excited about something, I prefer happy music to energize me.

The original is wordy and repeats time markers such as 'then at that time'. Replace with a single clause using 'or' and use 'prefer happy music' for clarity. 'To energize me' is the correct infinitive + object structure. Avoid redundant phrases.

× Yes, obviously the happiest music always makes me feel cheerful, pleasant.

✓ Yes, obviously happy music always makes me feel cheerful and pleasant.

'Happiest' is a superlative and incorrect here; use the adjective 'happy' to describe music that makes you feel cheerful. Also use 'and' to connect adjectives 'cheerful and pleasant'. Suggestion: Use base adjective to describe noun: 'happy music'.

× It energizes and lift off my mood whenever I feel low.

✓ It energizes and lifts my mood whenever I feel low.

Subject-verb agreement requires the third person singular verb to have an -s: 'energizes and lifts'. 'Lift off' is incorrect collocation for mood; use 'lifts my mood'. Grammar types: present tense with third person singular (also relevant to ID 2 and 27), corrected under present participle/verb form rule.

× Then at that time the happy music gave me energy, gives me energy to like get more excited.

✓ At those times happy music gives me energy and makes me more excited.

Mixing past 'gave' and present 'gives' is inconsistent. The context is habitual, so use simple present 'gives' and 'makes me more excited'. Avoid filler 'to like get'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and choose simple present for habitual effects.

× I haven't take any kind of music classes it in my life because I never got chance to take such classes.

✓ I haven't taken any music classes in my life because I never got the chance to take such classes.

After 'have' (present perfect) use past participle 'taken' not base form 'take'. Also remove extra pronoun 'it' and add article 'the' before 'chance'. Suggestion: Use present perfect with past participle for experiences up to now.

× Instead of that I always go to dance classes where I enjoy all the steps of dance with the help of music.

✓ Instead, I always go to dance classes where I enjoy all the dance steps with the help of music.

Use 'Instead' rather than 'Instead of that' for contrast in this context. 'Steps of dance' is awkward; use 'dance steps'. Suggestion: Prefer concise connectors and correct noun order ('dance steps').

× So all the beats of my dance depends upon the tune of music.

✓ So all the beats of my dance depend on the tune of the music.

The subject 'beats' is plural, so the verb must be 'depend' not 'depends'. Use 'depend on' rather than 'depend upon' (both are acceptable but 'depend on' is more common) and include the article 'the' before 'music'. Suggestion: Ensure verb agrees with plural subject.

× Yes, it is my all to do things whenever I am in kitchen or in bathroom, I always love to listen all the music uh, depending upon the music classes, depending upon the music types.

✓ Yes, I listen to music whenever I am in the kitchen or the bathroom; I always love to listen to music depending on the music type.

The original has incorrect phrases: 'it is my all to do things' is unclear. Use 'I listen to music' for the intended meaning. Include articles 'the kitchen/the bathroom'. Use 'listen to music' (verb + preposition) and 'depending on' not 'depending upon'. 'Music type' is clearer than 'music types' in this context. Suggestion: Use proper prepositions and articles and correct verb-preposition collocations.

× So I do listen the body will.

✓ So I just listen to whatever I feel like.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Listen the body will' makes no sense. A natural expression is 'listen to whatever I feel like' meaning follow one's inclination. Use 'listen to' plus object; 'feel like' expresses preference. Suggestion: Replace unclear or literal translations with a natural English idiom.