Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct collocations (e.g., “calm my nerves”), and limit to up to 4–5 sentences. Add one specific example and use linking words for coherence (for example / when / because).

例: I prefer melodious, upbeat music because it lifts my mood and also calms my nerves. For example, when I’m working on my computer I put on instrumental or soft pop with headphones so I can concentrate better. This helps me stay focused and less stressed throughout the day.

提案: Answer directly, fix grammar and redundancies, and use linking words to connect reason and example. Replace awkward phrases (e.g., “makes me to be”) with natural forms (“puts me in high spirits”). Keep to 2–4 sentences and give a clear brief example.

例: Yes. Melodious music usually puts me in high spirits, but it also calms my nerves when I’m tense. For example, if I have a stressful meeting, I listen to a few calming tracks beforehand to relax and feel more confident.

提案: Be natural and avoid repetition: give a short direct answer, then add one or two specific reasons and a plan. Correct grammar (e.g., “I have never taken music classes” and “it makes me happier”). Use linking words (however / because / so) to structure the response.

例: No, I haven’t taken any music classes, but I plan to enroll next month when I’m on vacation. I want to learn guitar because I enjoy songwriting and think lessons will help me improve faster.

提案: Answer clearly with one topic sentence, then add a specific example using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid hesitations and redundant phrases. Use natural collocations (e.g., “while doing other things”, “gives me energy”, “helps me concentrate”).

例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things. For example, I play upbeat music when I’m washing clothes or cleaning the house because it gives me energy and helps me stay focused.

× I prefer melodious music because it makes me to be in high spirits and equally calm my Ness.

✓ I prefer melodious music because it makes me feel elated and equally calms my nerves.

The phrase 'makes me to be' is incorrect; after 'make' we use the bare infinitive or a verb without 'to' or a verb phrase like 'feel'. Also 'calm my Ness' is incorrect noun form and spelling; use 'calms my nerves'. Use parallel verb forms: 'makes me feel' and 'calms'. Suggestion: Use 'make' + object + bare infinitive or use 'make' + object + adjective/verb phrase, and correct noun forms (nerves).

× I always listen to this music whenever I'm busy.

✓ I always listen to this music when I'm busy.

'Whenever' is not ungrammatical but 'whenever I'm busy' is acceptable; however 'this music' is slightly awkward—better to say 'this kind of music' or 'melodious music'. Keep sentence concise: 'when' fits natural speech. Suggestion: use 'when' for habitual situations or specify 'melodious music'.

× For example, if I'm working, I always listen to music with headphones.

✓ For example, if I'm working I always listen to music with headphones.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable; remove the comma after the conditional for natural flow in spoken English. Suggestion: keep punctuation minimal in spoken-style sentences.

× It makes me feel more.

✓ It makes me feel better.

'Feel more' is incomplete — 'more' needs a comparator or adjective. Use 'better' to express improvement in feeling. Suggestion: use clear adjectives after 'feel'.

× Yes ma'am. Melodious music makes me to be in high spirits and it's equally helps me to calm my nerves, especially when I'm tense.

✓ Yes ma'am. Melodious music makes me feel in high spirits and it equally helps me to calm my nerves, especially when I'm tense.

Again, 'makes me to be' is incorrect; use 'makes me feel' or 'puts me' in high spirits. Also 'it's equally helps' mixes pronoun contraction with verb; should be 'it equally helps'. Suggestion: use 'makes me feel' and correct subject-verb structure.

× For example, whenever I am stressed up, I like listening to music it.

✓ For example, whenever I am stressed, I like listening to music.

'Stressed up' is nonstandard; use 'stressed'. The phrase 'listening to music it' has an extra pronoun 'it' which is unnecessary. Suggestion: remove redundant words and use standard adjective 'stressed'.

× No, I have never engaged.

✓ No, I have never taken music classes.

'Have never engaged' is incomplete and lacks an object; 'engaged' needs 'in' and an object (e.g., 'engaged in music classes') or use 'taken' for classes. Suggestion: use 'have never taken music classes' for clarity.

× I have never engaged in any music classes.

✓ I have never participated in any music classes.

While 'engaged in' can be used, 'participated in' or 'taken' is more natural for classes. 'Engaged in any music classes' is awkward. Suggestion: use 'participated in' or 'taken' for activities and classes.

× Hopefully I will try to enroll by next month because that's when I will be on vacation.

✓ Hopefully I will enroll next month because that's when I will be on vacation.

'Will try to enroll by next month' is wordy; if intention is certain use 'will enroll next month'. 'By next month' can mean before the month; use 'next month' for clarity. Suggestion: choose precise future phrasing.

× So I would like to engage in music classes because music is life.

✓ So I would like to take music classes because music is life to me.

Use 'take' or 'attend' for classes rather than 'engage in'. Also add 'to me' to make 'music is life' personal if intended. Suggestion: use natural collocations: 'take/attend music classes'.

× It makes me to be more happy.

✓ It makes me happier.

'Makes me to be' is incorrect; use 'makes me happier' or 'makes me more happy' (but 'happier' is preferable). Suggestion: use comparative adjective after 'makes' without 'to be'.

× Yes I yes I like listening to music.

✓ Yes, I like listening to music.

Repeated 'Yes I' is redundant. Add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity. Suggestion: avoid repetition in answers.

× Why I'm engaging another activities.

✓ While I'm doing other activities.

Sentence 'Why I'm engaging another activities' is ungrammatical: 'why' is wrong conjunction, 'engaging' with 'another activities' is incorrect plurality and collocation. Use 'while' or 'when' and 'doing other activities'. Suggestion: use 'while' + present continuous for simultaneous actions and correct plural 'other activities'.

× For example, whenever I'm washing clothes, I always listen to music because it gives me more energy and equally helps me to concentrate in my work.

✓ For example, whenever I'm washing clothes, I always listen to music because it gives me more energy and equally helps me concentrate on my work.

Use 'helps me concentrate' (not 'helps me to concentrate' — both acceptable but 'helps me concentrate' is more natural) and preposition 'on' with 'concentrate on my work'. 'More energy' is acceptable. Suggestion: use 'concentrate on' for focus on tasks.