Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: avoid repetition and absolute statements. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or an example. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "because" and "so").

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me relax. For example, I often listen to upbeat songs when I need energy or want to cheer up after a long day.

提案: Avoid tense and grammar mistakes and reduce hesitation. Give a clear present-tense response with one or two specific effects and an example. Use linking words like "so" or "therefore" to show result.

例: Yes. When I listen to happy music I feel more energetic and less stressed, so worries fade away. For instance, upbeat songs help me stay focused and motivated when studying.

提案: Provide a direct, grammatically correct answer and clarify timing and meaning. Remove filler words and use a short elaboration with linking words (e.g., "only" and "but").

例: No, I haven't taken formal music lessons. I only took a basic music class at school after I graduated, but I haven't attended any private or advanced music classes on purpose.

提案: Be concise and avoid repetition. Use precise vocabulary and correct phrasing (e.g., "on my way to work" instead of "riding my back"). Give one or two clear situations and an example with linking words like "for example".

例: Yes, I often listen to music while working or on my way to work. For example, I play upbeat tracks when I exercise, such as when I'm lifting weights, because they keep me motivated.

× I prefer happy music because I think music is supposed to be to be delightful.

✓ I prefer happy music because I think music is supposed to be delightful.

The phrase 'to be to be delightful' repeats the infinitive marker 'to be' unnecessarily. Use a single infinitive or an adjective complement: 'is supposed to be delightful.' Remove the extra 'to be' to correct the verb form and make the sentence natural. Suggestion: Read the sentence slowly to spot repeated words and keep only one 'to be' when expressing intended state.

× The purpose of music is to make people happy, so I think the sad music just doesn't make any sense.

✓ The purpose of music is to make people happy, so I think sad music just doesn't make sense.

The article 'the' before 'sad music' is unnecessary when speaking generally about a type of music. Removing 'the' makes the sentence grammatically correct and more natural. Also 'just doesn't make any sense' is informal but acceptable; simplified to 'doesn't make sense.' Suggestion: Use no article when referring to a category in general: 'sad music' not 'the sad music.'

× When I was listening the happy music, I will feel more excited and the things that bothers me will be left behind and I will, I will feel happy.

✓ When I listened to happy music, I felt more excited, and the things that bothered me were left behind; I felt happy.

The original mixes past continuous with future 'will' and has incorrect verb forms and missing preposition. 'When I was listening the happy music' needs 'listening to' and consistent past tense: 'When I listened to happy music.' Use past simple for habitual/past feelings: 'I felt.' 'Bothers' should be past 'bothered.' 'Will be left behind' should match past 'were left behind.' Also avoid repeated 'I will, I will.' Suggestion: Keep tense consistent (past) within the sentence and use correct verb patterns: 'listen to' and past forms 'felt,' 'bothered,' 'were left.'

× Uh, only the music LA classes in school after I graduated.

✓ Uh, only the music and LA classes at school after I graduated.

The sentence omits a conjunction and uses 'the' incorrectly. Likely the speaker meant two types of classes: 'music and LA (Language Arts) classes.' Use 'and' to connect them and 'at school' is the correct preposition. Also 'after I graduated' correctly indicates time. Suggestion: Clarify class types and use 'and' to join nouns: 'music and LA classes at school.'

× I haven't uh, attend music classes purposely.

✓ I haven't, uh, attended music classes on purpose.

After 'haven't' (have not) the past participle 'attended' is required for the present perfect tense. 'Purposely' is acceptable but 'on purpose' is more natural here. Change 'attend' to 'attended' to match the auxiliary 'have.' Suggestion: Use present perfect correctly: 'haven't attended.' Use 'on purpose' for intention.

× Yes, I'd like to listen to music while I'm working.

✓ Yes, I'd like to listen to music while I'm working.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No correction needed. Suggestion: Maintain the structure; 'I'd like to' plus present continuous 'I'm working' is appropriate for habitual or simultaneous actions.

× Uh, or I'm riding my back to work.

✓ Uh, or I'm riding my bike back to work.

'Riding my back' is incorrect; the intended phrase is likely 'riding my bike back to work.' 'Back' should follow the mode of transport. Replace 'back' position and correct the noun to 'bike.' Suggestion: Specify the vehicle: 'riding my bike back to work.'

× And I often listen to some exciting, exciting music when I'm doing some exercise, for example, building my body or lifting some weights.

✓ And I often listen to exciting music when I'm exercising, for example, building my muscles or lifting weights.

The repetition 'exciting, exciting' is redundant; use a single adjective. 'Doing some exercise' is wordy; 'exercising' is concise. 'Building my body' is awkward; 'building my muscles' or 'working on my body' is better. 'Lifting some weights' becomes 'lifting weights.' Suggestion: Avoid repetition and use concise verbs and nouns: 'listen to exciting music when I'm exercising, for example, building my muscles or lifting weights.'