Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và phát âm, tránh lỗi chia động từ, sắp xếp câu rõ ràng và rút gọn ý không cần thiết. Cụ thể: (1) Sử dụng thì và dạng động từ đúng (ví dụ: "it helps"), (2) sửa lỗi thừa và sửa lại các từ bị lặp, (3) dùng tối đa 3-4 câu liên kết bằng liên từ như "because" hoặc "so" để làm rõ lý do và tình huống nghe nhạc.

例: I prefer happy music because it helps me relax and lift my mood. I often listen to it while commuting or walking, so it makes me feel more positive and focused.

提案: Cải thiện tính mạch lạc và dùng thì phù hợp; tránh câu không rõ nghĩa và ngôn ngữ không trang trọng như "wanna". Cụ thể: (1) Dùng thì hiện tại đơn cho thói quen/phản ứng chung ("makes"), (2) nối ý bằng liên từ như "for example" và "because", (3) sửa các lỗi mạo từ và động từ ("a favorite song", "it helps").

例: Yes, absolutely. Happy music makes me feel more positive and appreciative of life. For example, one of my favorite songs is "You Are My Sunshine," and I listen to it every day because it helps lift my mood.

提案: Sắp xếp câu ngắn gọn, sửa ngữ pháp và tránh tiếng thừa/tiếng ấp úng. Cụ thể: (1) Tránh lặp từ ("I never have taken" → "I have never taken"), (2) dùng cấu trúc điều kiện rõ ràng cho kế hoạch tương lai ("If I have time, I would like to enroll in a singing class"), (3) loại bỏ thông tin không rõ ràng (ví dụ "Mrs. Glasses" nếu không cần thiết).

例: No, I have never taken any music classes, but if I have time in the future, I would like to enroll in a singing course to improve my vocal skills and boost my confidence.

提案: Sửa lỗi thì và cú pháp, tránh từ thừa và biểu hiện không chính thức. Cụ thể: (1) Dùng thì hiện tại đơn/hiện tại tiếp diễn phù hợp ("I love listening" / "it makes me feel"), (2) tránh lặp từ và từ sai ("a many energy" → "much more energetic"), (3) liên kết các ý bằng từ nối như "and" hoặc "so" để mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I love listening to music while I'm commuting or cleaning my house, because it makes me feel more positive and much more energetic for my tasks.

× I prefer happy music because it help me relax and lift my mood.

✓ I prefer happy music because it helps me relax and lift my mood.

Use 'helps' (third person singular) to agree with singular subject 'it'. Verb must add -s in present simple for third person singular subjects.

× I often listen to a bit when I'm commuting or walking be and they they make me feel more positive and focused.

✓ I often listen to it a bit when I'm commuting or walking, and it makes me feel more positive and focused.

Change 'a bit' placement and remove extra words. Ensure pronoun agrees with singular 'music' so use 'it' and 'it makes'. Also add conjunction 'and' and comma for clarity.

× Yes absolutely listening to happy music made me feel more positive and love my life.

✓ Yes, absolutely. Listening to happy music makes me feel more positive and love my life.

Context is general habit, so use present simple 'makes' not past 'made'. Maintain consistent tense for habitual actions.

× I wanna know.

✓ I want to know.

Replace informal 'wanna' with standard 'want to' for appropriate register and grammar; 'want to know' is correct verb phrase.

× For example one of the my favorite song is You are my Sunshine and I listen it every day because it help me lift my mood.

✓ For example, one of my favorite songs is You Are My Sunshine, and I listen to it every day because it helps me lift my mood.

Use article 'my' without 'the' and plural 'songs' to match 'one of my favorite'. Capitalize song title as proper noun. Use 'listen to' followed by object pronoun 'it'. Use 'helps' for third person singular 'it'.

× No, actually I never take, I never have a taken any music classes before, but in the future if I have time, I would like to enroll and and Mrs. Glasses uh, to improve my uh, my sing singing skill and also boost my confidence.

✓ No, actually I have never taken any music classes before, but in the future if I have time, I would like to enroll and take lessons to improve my singing skills and also boost my confidence.

Use present perfect 'have never taken' for experience up to now. Remove duplicate words and filler. Use 'take lessons' or 'enroll in lessons' and plural 'singing skills'. Ensure verb forms are correct.

× I love listening to music while I'm commuting on the way or uh, cleaning up my house. It's made me feel more positive and umm, and have a many energy to do, uh, to work.

✓ I love listening to music while I'm commuting or cleaning my house. It makes me feel more positive and gives me energy to work.

Use present simple 'makes' for habitual effect. Replace 'It's made me' (present perfect) with 'It makes me' for general truth. Use 'gives me energy' rather than incorrect 'have a many energy'. Remove unnecessary fillers.