Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and accurate: remove hesitations and grammatical errors, use a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details with linking words. For example, start with a direct statement of preference, then explain why with a specific situation and result. Also replace vague words with precise vocabulary (e.g., “lift my spirits” instead of “increase my spirit”).

例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my spirits. For instance, when I feel tired after work, listening to upbeat songs boosts my energy and helps me focus on my tasks.

提案: Give a slightly longer, coherent answer using linking words and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific reason and example. Use correct verb forms and singular/plural agreement (e.g., “when I hear happy music, it helps me…”).

例: Yes, it does. When I hear happy music, it makes me feel more alert and motivated. For example, upbeat music helps me wake up in the morning and concentrate better while I exercise.

× I'll I river happy music because can uh, increase my uh, spirit.

✓ I prefer happy music because it can increase my spirits.

Errors: 'I'll I river' seems to be mispronounced attempts; correct verb is 'prefer' not contraction 'I'll'. 'can' needs a subject and 'increase my spirit' should be 'increase my spirits' (plural) or 'lift my spirits'. Suggestions: Use the correct verb 'prefer' for expressing preference; include a subject for modal verbs and use the appropriate noun form 'spirits'. Additionally, reduce filler words like 'uh' in speaking to improve clarity.

× Like when I feel tired, if I heard about uh, happy music, my energy will be uh, improved.

✓ For example, when I feel tired, if I hear happy music, my energy improves.

Errors: Tense inconsistency. 'When I feel tired' is present, so the conditional clause should use present tense 'if I hear' not past 'if I heard'. Also 'my energy will be improved' is awkward; simple present 'my energy improves' or 'it improves my energy' fits habitual reactions. Suggestions: Keep tenses consistent when describing habitual actions; use simple present for general truths and habits.

× Yes, it does. Uh, because when I heard about the happy music, they helped me feel more alert and motivated.

✓ Yes, it does, because when I hear happy music, it helps me feel more alert and motivated.

Errors: Past tense 'heard' and 'helped' conflict with present-tense question asking general effect. Use simple present 'hear' and 'helps' for habitual effects. Pronoun agreement: 'they helped me' is incorrect because 'happy music' is singular/uncountable; use 'it helps me'. Suggestions: Use present tense and match pronouns to the noun (it for music) when describing general effects.