Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and natural, but it's slightly repetitive and a little long. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating similar phrases (e.g., ‘if I’m in a happy mood’ and ‘if my inner self is happy’ mean the same). Also vary vocabulary (e.g., ‘upbeat’ or ‘cheerful’ for ‘happy’) and be concise to stay within five sentences.

例: I prefer different kinds of music depending on my mood. For example, when I feel cheerful I usually choose upbeat, melodious songs because they lift my spirits and help me concentrate. However, when I'm upset I often listen to sad ballads to process my emotions, as they feel comforting and relatable.

提案: This answer is direct and effective but could be improved by using a linking word to connect idea and by adding one brief specific example or consequence. Also replace vague phrases like ‘refreshing feel’ with more precise descriptions (e.g., ‘energised’ or ‘motivated’). Keep it to two or three sentences.

例: Yes, happy music definitely energises me. For instance, upbeat pop or hip-hop tracks give me more focus and motivation when I exercise or work, so I often play them to boost my mood and productivity.

× If I'm in a happy mood, if it's raining and if my inner self is happy, I would love to hear happy songs, melodious ones.

✓ If I'm in a happy mood, if it's sunny and if my inner self is happy, I would love to listen to happy, melodious songs.

The original sentence used 'if it's raining' which conflicts with 'happy mood' context; this is a content coherence suggestion rather than strict grammar, but more importantly 'hear' is less natural than 'listen to' when referring to enjoying music intentionally. Use the preposition/verb phrase 'listen to' + noun for intentional music listening. Also use a comma to separate adjectives 'happy, melodious'. Suggestion: replace 'hear' with 'listen to' and punctuate adjectives correctly.

× But if I'm really sad or if I'm going through an emotional outburst, I prefer to listen to sad songs.

✓ But if I'm really sad or going through an emotional outburst, I prefer listening to sad songs.

After verbs like 'prefer', both 'prefer to do' and 'prefer doing' are possible; to make the sentence more concise and natural, use the gerund 'listening'. Also omit the redundant 'if' before the second clause: 'or going through' is preferred. Suggestion: use parallel structure and choose either 'prefer to listen to' or 'prefer listening to'.

× Yes, of course, happy music, including the melodious ones and the hip hop ones really gives me a sense of energy and a refreshing feel.

✓ Yes, of course, happy music, including melodious songs and hip-hop songs, really gives me a sense of energy and a refreshing feeling.

Do not use 'the' with plural noun phrases here ('the melodious ones' -> 'melodious songs'); 'hip hop' as a compound adjective is better written 'hip-hop'. 'Gives' agrees with the singular subject 'happy music' but 'feeling' is a more natural noun than 'feel' in this context. Also add commas to set off the parenthetical phrase. Suggestion: remove unnecessary 'the' and use 'feeling' instead of 'feel'.

× I love to listen to such songs because it definitely improves my mood.

✓ I love listening to such songs because they definitely improve my mood.

Pronoun reference and subject-verb agreement: 'it' is incorrect because it is unclear and doesn't agree with the plural noun 'songs'. Use 'they' to refer to 'songs', and plural verb 'improve' to match. Also use 'listening to' for a natural gerund form. Suggestion: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents and keep verb agreement consistent.