Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct verb/forms (e.g., 'uplifts', 'relaxes', 'I feel').

例: I prefer happy music because it uplifts my mood and relaxes my body. For example, when I exercise I listen to upbeat songs, which motivate me and help me keep going.

提案: Answer directly, fix grammar and word order, and add a specific reason or short example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas. Replace incorrect phrases like 'feels me' with 'makes me feel' and correct verb agreement.

例: Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited because it reduces my stress after a hectic day. For instance, listening to lively tracks in the evening makes me feel refreshed and more energetic.

× Usually I'll prefer happy music because it uplift our mood and also relaxed our body.

✓ Usually I prefer happy music because it uplifts our mood and also relaxes our body.

The modal 'll (will) is unnecessary here; 'usually' indicates a habitual present action so use simple present 'I prefer' (Grammar Problem Type 4 and 6). 'Uplift' and 'relaxed' are wrong forms: subject-verb agreement requires third person singular 'uplifts' and 'relaxes' (Grammar Problem Type 2 and 27). Use present tense for habitual statements. Suggestion: remove 'll', use simple present verbs and ensure verbs agree with 'it/ music' as third person singular when needed.

× Whenever we do exercise, our body body feels tired after listening happy songs, it feels motivated.

✓ Whenever we exercise, our body feels tired; after listening to happy songs, it feels motivated.

'Do exercise' is wordy; prefer 'exercise' (Grammar Problem Type 10). 'Body body' is a repetition error. 'Listening happy songs' needs the preposition 'to' after 'listening' (Grammar Problem Type 11) and the sentence was a comma splice; separate clauses with a semicolon or conjunction (Grammar Problem Type 26). Also keep consistent tense: simple present for habitual actions. Suggestion: remove duplicate word, use 'exercise', add 'to' after 'listening', and fix clause separation.

× Yes definitely happy music feels me more excited because after a hectic schedule whenever I listen happy music it reduce my stress and also feels me fresh and happy.

✓ Yes, definitely happy music makes me more excited because after a hectic day, whenever I listen to happy music it reduces my stress and makes me feel fresh and happy.

'Feels me more excited' is incorrect; English uses 'make/makes someone adjective' so use 'makes me more excited' (Grammar Problem Type 10 and 12). 'Listen happy music' needs 'to' after 'listen' (Grammar Problem Type 11). 'Reduce' should be 'reduces' to agree with third person singular 'it' referring to music (Grammar Problem Type 2 and 27). 'Feels me fresh' is incorrect; use 'makes me feel fresh' (Grammar Problem Type 12 and 10). Also add commas for clarity and use 'day' instead of 'schedule' to sound natural. Suggestion: use 'make/makes someone', add 'to' after 'listen', ensure subject-verb agreement, and use 'makes me feel' for sensations.