Music— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the sentence grammatically correct, more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add a brief reason or example. Use correct verb forms and articles, and avoid redundancy. For example: “I prefer listening to sad music because it feels more emotional and helps me reflect.”

例: I prefer listening to sad music because it helps me reflect on my feelings and can be very soothing.

提案: Correct grammar, word order and reduce repetition. Begin with a direct yes/no answer, then give a specific reason and a short example using linking words (because, for example, so). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use appropriate vocabulary (e.g., “cheerful,” “energetic”).

例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because it has an upbeat tempo. For example, when I listen to hip-hop at home, I feel energetic and sometimes start dancing.

× I prefer to listen sad music.

✓ I prefer listening to sad music.

The verb 'prefer' when followed by another verb commonly uses the -ing form (gerund) or 'to' + infinitive; here 'listening to' is natural. Also the preposition 'to' is required after 'listen' when it takes an object. Suggestion: use 'prefer listening to' or 'prefer to listen to'.

× Yes, happy music makes makes feel me happy.

✓ Yes, happy music makes me feel happy.

The verb 'make' in present tense with third-person subject 'music' should be 'makes' (one 's'); there is an extra repeated 'makes'. Also the correct word order is 'makes me feel', not 'makes feel me'. Suggestion: use 'makes me feel happy'.

× For example when I when I listen hip hop music listen to HIPAA music, my feeling is very up.

✓ For example, when I listen to hip hop music, my mood is very upbeat.

Multiple issues: 'listen' requires preposition 'to' before the object (ID 11 - prepositions), and 'feeling is very up' is unnatural. Replace with 'mood is very upbeat' or 'I feel very happy'. Also remove duplicated 'when I'. Suggestion: 'When I listen to hip hop music, I feel very upbeat.'

× So I'm sometimes the dancing in my at home.

✓ So sometimes I dance at home.

This sentence has extra words and wrong word order. 'I'm sometimes the dancing' is ungrammatical; use simple present 'I dance' for habitual action. 'in my at home' mixes prepositions and possessive; correct preposition is 'at home'. Suggestion: 'Sometimes I dance at home.'